Yeah, I am a student nurse, I sit on my lazy but eatting bon bons alllll day long!!!

[HeartsOpenWide]

If I hear my husband use the phrase, "Well when you work 40 hours a week!...."

I just stopped asking my husband for any help. I tried to get him to help out around the house since I have started nursing school. No. okay, understandable, I got this student nurse thing a little bit better under control now...could you at least do the dishes you get dirty when I am not home? no. Could you put your clothes in the hamper instead of on the living room floor? no. (when I am lucky he soaks the dishes). okay maybe I am not at a job that pays, but nursing school is work, and I am at it 7 days a week! I never see my friends, all I do is go to class and study; literally. I am not complaining, this is what I want to do and I feel privileged to do it, but can I get a little credit? I am working my a$$ off here! It took me forever to talk my husband into letting me go back to school (lets not get started on that subject) and I still get scorn every once and awhile. (He got a new job that was paying the same amount more an hour as I was making as a medical assistant so there was no exuse to not let me go back).

[DanEMT, ASN, RN]

Waa waa waa cluck cluck cluck. My wife is putting me through school, she is a Veterinarian and works very hard. What do we do? pick up each others slack and look out for one another. I hate male bashing, some women said nice things but for the rest of you, try living with a woman for a while. You may see it's not all flowers and puppy dogs.

[lisabeth]

Waa waa waa cluck cluck cluck. My wife is putting me through school, she is a Veterinarian and works very hard. What do we do? pick up each others slack and look out for one another. I hate male bashing, some women said nice things but for the rest of you, try living with a woman for a while. You may see it's not all flowers and puppy dogs.

I promise, I am not bashing all men. I know there are many good men out there.

As far as living with a woman, lol. There isnt a mansion big enough for two women. That is not in the least bit appealing to me.

Marriage does take two people, and it sounds like you both do your parts. Good for you.

[shleynic]

wah...like men don't bash women

[Halinja, BSN, RN]

Waa waa waa cluck cluck cluck. My wife is putting me through school, she is a Veterinarian and works very hard. What do we do? pick up each others slack and look out for one another. I hate male bashing, some women said nice things but for the rest of you, try living with a woman for a while. You may see it's not all flowers and puppy dogs.

Grin. I'm not male bashing. Men are fine. Jerks are not, and they come in either sex. Its just many men have been socialized by society to "expect" certain treatment. Many are responsible, loving, supportive individuals. AND SOME ARE NOT!!! (sorry for yelling)

[lckdwnboss]

I feel your pain sista. I had a similar problem. For me it was a combination of the paper plates and plastic, and watching soaps and acting like nothing was going on. We have a system now. My children help alot. I understand that he is working hard and providing for us while I am not working and that he also needs some time to relax. I have 2 hours completely alone when no one is there but me. The kids are at various after school events and he is not home yet. I do a careplan, vocab, maybe practice a formula, and then start dinner and throw a load in the washer. By 5 when they start coming in dinner is ready and I have 2 and a half loads done, plus some of my homework. He is in charge of our room and bath. The children are responsible for their room and bath. My oldest who is 14 does the dishes if there are any. My youngest who is 8 picks up the front room before going to bed. So all I do is dinner and laundry. Laundry you can do as you study. They are in charge of folding and putting away their own clothes. Needless to say my clothes stay in the basket alot. Talk to your man if he is worth keeping. You can do it. I know it feels like everyone is against you and want you to fail. It always happens right before a big test. Say a prayer and hold your head up. I have come so much closer to God these past few months. We have talks all day. Stay strong girl.

Charlotte

[danissa, LPN, LVN]

..HEY YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its called TEAMWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a NICU midwife and am gone from the house at least 3 days a week, from 06.30--21.00. My dh also does shift work, granted our kiddos are teens, 19, 17 & 14, BUT...everything in the home they live in is still worked out between their Mam & Dad. Our children help when they can, but even at their grand old ages, we dont expect them to do their own laundry etc! AND I would NEVER---EVER--- do laundry and not include my hubby's stuff--thats pure meanness!!!!

Students...i know the load is hard..but it does not get easier! and if you are a wife/ partner/ mommy/ daddy-----you have to take it all in your stride and realise that ALL compartments of your life are equally important!

just my 2 pennys worth!

[OnTheRoad]

..HEY YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its called TEAMWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a NICU midwife and am gone from the house at least 3 days a week, from 06.30--21.00. My dh also does shift work, granted our kiddos are teens, 19, 17 & 14, BUT...everything in the home they live in is still worked out between their Mam & Dad. Our children help when they can, but even at their grand old ages, we dont expect them to do their own laundry etc! AND I would NEVER---EVER--- do laundry and not include my hubby's stuff--thats pure meanness!!!!

Students...i know the load is hard..but it does not get easier! and if you are a wife/ partner/ mommy/ daddy-----you have to take it all in your stride and realise that ALL compartments of your life are equally important!

just my 2 pennys worth!

Just want to see if I am getting this right. At 19,17, and 14 you do not require your children to do anything within the household? Just help when they feel like it? or do they help alot without being asked?

Does your husband also help when he can, or helps without being asked?

If you are doing it all on your own except for when others can or feel like helping out I truly feel for you, but I do not believe that is ok.

I agree I would not do the laundry and refuse to do my husband's, but he had better be pulling his weight also and I am talking about more than a 9 to 5 job then he is done. My children... they need to do their chores (even if I have to follow behind the younger ones when they can't quite do it to my way) so they can gradually learn to take care of themselves. My hope being that they can achieve independence by the time they leave this nest and be able to care for themselves.

The load isn't going to get lighter for my children as they grow older or for my husband if he doesn't do his part, because they will not always have their mommy to do it all for them. I would do them all a disservice by doing for them rather than teaching them.

[LydiaNN]

..HEY YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its called TEAMWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a NICU midwife and am gone from the house at least 3 days a week, from 06.30--21.00. My dh also does shift work, granted our kiddos are teens, 19, 17 & 14, BUT...everything in the home they live in is still worked out between their Mam & Dad. Our children help when they can, but even at their grand old ages, we dont expect them to do their own laundry etc! AND I would NEVER---EVER--- do laundry and not include my hubby's stuff--thats pure meanness!!!!

Students...i know the load is hard..but it does not get easier! and if you are a wife/ partner/ mommy/ daddy-----you have to take it all in your stride and realise that ALL compartments of your life are equally important!

just my 2 pennys worth!

You have a 19 year old adult child living in your home and you don't expect him to do his own laundry? How nice for him! I'd think anyone who is so big on TEAMWORK as you shouted would include grown children as members of the team.

The rule in this house is that if you want your clothes included in the laundry, they have to be in the hamper. If my husband chooses to throw his clothes on the floor a foot from the hamper, he has also chosen not to have me wash them for him. He is a grown man and is perfectly capable of choosing his own actions and understanding the consequences thereof. There's nothing mean about maintaining order in one's living environment.

[seva]

My (okay, personal) experience with men in this situation, is that they won't stand up and do the right thing, unless they have to.

seva

[IrishIzCPNP, MSN, RN, APRN, NP]

Waa waa waa cluck cluck cluck. My wife is putting me through school, she is a Veterinarian and works very hard. What do we do? pick up each others slack and look out for one another. I hate male bashing, some women said nice things but for the rest of you, try living with a woman for a while. You may see it's not all flowers and puppy dogs.

Ouch.

Does she do some laundry or vacuum because if she does, she's welcome here.

This isn't about man bashing. This is about lack of physical support in the home from the partner. In this case since most nurses are female most partners will be male.

This is about the lack of support. You are lucky that you each pick up the slack but that doesn't always happen and the women here who don't have that situation are talking about it. They just happened to be married to men. I'm sure if they were married to a woman and it was the same situation they would still complain.

[shleynic]

Right on sister!!

[lvnhopeful]

Though I will not start school until July, I was fortunate to have instructors who asked that all students bring their significant others to orientation. It was presented by the staff and soon to be graduating students how important it was that household members realize how busy we will be. I am in an LVN accelerated program and made sure my hubby came with me. He tends to not like housework, and I wanted him to know that I would be busy.

Take care of yourself and they will respect you all the more.

Good luck....