Would it kill you to say thank you?

Published

This is a vent :sour: It's not an original one, this has been griped about before ;)

In another thread I've been posting in, a long-time member who often answers questions and posts helpful advice posed the the following question regarding giving advice; why do we bother?

I've been asking myself the very same thing. Actually, I know the answer for myself at least. I bother because every once in a while the poster who you answer/try to help actually seems to appreciate that someone took the time and is polite enough to acknowledge this and say thank you.

Why would any of us take time out of our days to answer questions asked by other posters, if not to try to help that poster. Sometimes the advice we offer is good and at times the advice might be poor. Sometimes the advice is what the person asking was hoping to hear. Sometimes it's not. However, the common denominator in the vast majority of cases is that the poster offering advice is actually trying to help the other poster.

About a week ago I answered a first-time poster who had a question regarding dosage calculation. It's a sad testament to the current state of affairs that when this poster actually came back and said "thank you guys so much!" my reaction was almost one of shock. (Okay, I admit I'm exaggerating just a wee bit, but really it is a rather rare occurence to have someone actually return and say thanks). Because this person expressed appreciation, I know that I will definitely try to answer any questions this poster might have in the future.

I answered another question yesterday only to see the poster making a brand new thread today asking the same question. The subject matter this first-time poster was asking about happens to be something I enjoy (which makes me a bit of a :geek:) and I would have been happy to provide further assistance. As it is, I think that perhaps the poster was hoping for the explicit answer to the homework assignment instead of merely being offered support and information on how to find the answer for him/herself.

I've expressed the following opinion many times. I don't believe in handing the answers to homework assignments on a silver platter. The students who come here and ask for advice are our future colleagues. I want them to be proficient at locating data for themselves. I want them to be able to critically assess the quality of the data that they find. I want them to become competent professionals. I don't want to sabotage the process required to reach that level of proficiency. While I have no doubt that some posters think that I'm being stingy with the advice that I offer, my motivation is actually to help.

I am responsible for my choices. No one forces me to answer any posts, I do that of my own free will. I don't expect posters to bow and scrape and generally gush gratitude all over the forum simply because I or someone else has answered their question. But a simple thank you goes a long way. Here, just as in real life.

*Off soapbox*

Okay Spidey's mom, now I'm too scared to "like" that post ;)

Seriously though, I guess I view "likes" sort of like the nods or the "uh-huh" sounds one makes when having a conversation with someone in real life. I will almost always like posts when I agree with what the posters say and sometimes even when I don't agree, if I think that the poster made a good point/ presented their case well. I just see them as a part of the social interaction. I think that they come in handy when I don't have the time or energy to make a post of my own stating that I agree with poster x or y, but still want to make the other person know that I appreciated their post.

Since this is a thread about being polite and acknowledging the replies you receive, I'd like to take the opportunity to thank everyone who has contributed in this thread :)

Oh, I "like" things more now . . . and I only do 3 dots for ellipses . . . you know who you are AN friend. ;)

Specializes in Pediatric Critical Care.
It's only 2 clicks to find the bookmarks on the desktop site- click on username, click on bookmarks. On the mobile site, tap the menu icon (the 3 bars in the upper right corner) and then tap on bookmarks. If a thread has been posted in, it'll be in bold. Those that don't have new posts will be regular font. I'd rather not get an alert for every time someone replies to a thread I've posted in- I'll log in to hundreds of alerts!

I didn't realized that threads with new posts would be in - thats good to know. I thought it was just a list and i would have to click each one to see if there was anything new. Thanks for the tip!

Specializes in Pediatric Critical Care.

And truly, I'm not interested in "likes". Although I was chastised (LOL) by a friend here for not "liking" posts. :up:

Too bad, I liked you post anyway :sarcastic:

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

My two year old can say (& knows when to say) please, thank you, bless you & you're welcome. If he can do it, why can't adults?

Too bad, I liked you post anyway :sarcastic:

I liked your post back. :)

Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.

I agree it is beyond frustrating to offer advice to somebody that clearly doesn't want it. There are WAY too many threads asking for life advice that we are just not qualified to give yet when we offer our opinions we get nothing but rude responses or accusations of bullying and gasp! NETY

Gotta love the threads that start with some ridiculous statement followed by "no negative responses, please." I'll usually read those, and sometimes respond just for the entertainment value. Depends on how contrary I am feeling that day.

More on topic, I have been sincerely thanked a few times and it definitely makes my day. It's nice to know that occasionally a response that I carefully thought out and considered was indeed found helpful and acknowledged as such.

Specializes in LTC.

Since there was discussion here about maybe not being able to properly follow-up because the site is so big... bookmarks, etc. ~ Do you mind if I ask a question here that maybe someone can PLEASE help me with?

I don't get to sit down at an actual computer very often, but that is clearly the best way for me to get the full AN experience.

When I am on my phone, I cannot figure out how to see "What's New". I just don't see the option at all. I've been on this site for weeks now and I have explored all of the things to click on on my phone. So am I missing something? I only see "What's New" when I am on my computer.

On my phone, I see "Featured Nurse Topics" and "Trending Nurse Topics" ... I've got "Hot" and "Top" and "Trend" ... But none of those give you a list of ALL of the latest posts, it seems like. I want to see what people are talking about that's new since the last time I visited. The most up-to-date stuff. Is this possible on my phone? What am I missing?

Thanks! :up:

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.

37changes, if you go to that same menu as I described for finding bookmarks on the mobile site, you'll see an option for get daily. Tapping on that will bring up all posts from the last 24 hours with the most recent response first. As with bookmarks, those with new posts will be in bold.

Specializes in LTC.

Rose_Queen ~ I'm feeling really dumb. :(

When I click on "menu" in the top right corner, it takes me to the bottom of the screen and here are my options:

attachment.php?attachmentid=23513&stc=1

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.

37changes, I see this:

attachment.php?attachmentid=23515&stc=1

You may need to go into your settings and make sure you have the box checked to show get daily (AKA last 24 hours). To get to your settings, tap dashboard and choose settings from the drop down menu. It's close to the bottom of the list of checkboxes.

Specializes in LTC.

That worked ~ thanks so much! I have been frustrated with this for awhile now! I knew there had to be a way. :)

+ Join the Discussion