Workplace Bullying

[ERnurz]

I have an issue with a coworker that I would like to share with the rest of you and hope that my venting with make me feel better. I work with a very well educated and experienced nurse. She has her own demons that she has not ever dealt with and so I am giving her the excuse that she is emotionally immature.

During a shift, this particular nurse literally got in my face, screaming at me, poking her finger in my face, and then stomped away. I tried to calmly talk to her, explain my position in the problem she was upset about. She screamed at me twice more without so much as me getting a word in edgewise. When I finally got to explain my side, she huffed off. I stood there with my jaw open, thinking I had been transported back to high school and just had a run in with the class bully. I took the problem to the management of my department, as this was not the first problem I have had with this nurse, just the final straw. She assured me that the problem was not the first she had been told of in regard to this nurse and it would be dealt with. Not a week later, the same nurse again attacked me verbally, but this time there were at least 6 people watching and waiting. It did not get violent, just loud and animated. Once again, I went to management and was told it would be dealt with, but this time she told me that calling corporate compliance was always an option!

I am literally sick to my stomach when I have to work with this nurse. I have considered changing departments, but why should I when I love what I do. As I said, she has her own demons and I believe that they are why she is so emotionally immature, but the outbursts are frightening and definitely not professional. At this point, I am in a holding pattern. I hope that this gets resolved soon, I just want to do my job without having to take Maalox before starting my shift!!

[Graduatenurse14]

I would be very upset too! You said that she has her own demons which may or may not be at the root of her behavior but regardless of what is driving it, management needs to ensure that one of their employees is not screaming at her co-worker(s) and getting them to the point where one is thinking of transferring departments.

Since there are multiple people who've been her victims and there are multiple witnesses at least to her last outburst with you, management had better get it together or they could be on the wrong side of a lawsuit filed by any of her victims- and maybe even the witnesses too. A toxic, hostile work environment doesn't bode well for anyone.

[loriangel14, RN]

I have had the same ussue. My workplace has an anti bullying and anti harassment policy so it is going through those channels. I have had to provide them with written statements and the names of witnesses.HR and my manage rand my union rep are dealing with it.This is not the first problems they have had with this nurse.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

I am stunned management would tolerate this. If six other people witnessed it, you can bet patients and their families did too. Unfortunately without management backup, you may have no choice but to either call corporate compliance or switch departments, which is grossly unfair. I would suggest you walk away next time, preferably in the direction of the manager's office, hoping she is in and has to deal with it/witness it herself. I am sorry this is happening to you.

[sistrmoon, BSN, RN]

Only empathy here. I know all too well the sick stomach at having to work with a particular nurse. Ours has also been reported to management by multiple people and nothing has happened. I'm actively job seeking.

[Emergent, RN]

You have witnesses and have been directed to the next step. Take it. Document, document, document.

[icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN]

No one should be made to feel that uncomfortable at their place of work. You really need to stand up for yourself because it is not likely that anyone else will, including your weak manager who is afraid of her too.

A few phrases that I would use in my most professional and deepest voice are:

Lower your voice.

Do NOT speak to me like that.

Don't point your finger in my face.

Are you threatening me.

You are behaving like a two year old.

You are out of control. This conversation is over.

This person has been getting away with terrorizing others for so long, that people are just resigned that nothing will change. I would be willing to bet that some of them just hide under the desk when she rants and raves. And she knows it. Does she stage her outbursts when there are no managers or ER physicians around? I am willing to bet that she does that too.

They won't bother investigating until she writes you up for insubordination or some other nonsense. Good. You will have to give a statement to HR and Senior Management. They will want dates times and specific information. This is when the previous documentation will come to light. The pattern of disruptive behavior will be revealed. She will be put on probation, she will be even angrier and her behavior will be even worse and she will cross the line and be terminated. It happened at my place of work recently, and the whole process took about three months.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

"This is not a conversation I am willing to have" and walk away.

I would report it to corporate compliance if this is what your manager has directed you to do. Unfortunetely, the manager will not step up and do something about it. The reason this has continued is because it has been allowed to.

Do not go tit for tat with this person. Her demons are her own, and not your issue. You can not polish a meatball. What you are saying to her is just escalating the exchange, so remember, you are not dealing with sane. So do not engage.

If you have a union, speak to your delegate. If you have malpractice insurance (and you should) get them in the loop so that you are able to at least let them know what is going on, should things get uglier. (and I hope they do not).

You, nor any of your coworkers need to be the brunt of this nurse's issues.

[icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN]

Jade makes some very good points about not engaging with a mentally unbalanced coworker, but sometimes you just don't have a choice. We all have a limit to what we can tolerate from an abusive coworker who behaves like a screaming harpie and attacks someone to feel better about herself. My former employer would have said, if that's the kind of creep that she is, we don't need her. This person thought her longevity allowed her to behave any way that she wanted. I think that some people just become too comfortable and feel that they are so valuable that they can not be replaced.

If after going through the chain of command and having the complaint brushed off as a personality conflict between two coworkers, or buried by a clueless administrator, what other option is there other than to confront the bully?

I am probably the most quiet and unassuming ICU nurse that you will ever meet. But I had had enough. You see, I have a solid resume and references and I can have a new contract in a matter of days anywhere that I choose. I am not trapped in a job. I learned a long time ago that in the ICU, arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand. I chose to confront it rather than let her take mine or anyone else' s dignity. I can tell you with absolute certainty that bullies crumble when confronted.

The original poster should trust his or her own perceptions of this person's behavior. Most of us would freeze in shock at someone abusing a coworker and making such a spectacle of themselves. I did at first until I learned that it was unjustified. Some even hid behind a curtain. At the time, I was working with some very tough girls in a major city who said "I don't get paid enough to deal with that."

How ironic is it that this probably demented woman wrote me up for raising my voice. When upper management finally started to investigate, I had everyone from housekeeping to shift supervisors to MDs start telling me how awful she was. One MD told me that he had been trying to get rid of this person for years.