Working as a stripper AND a nurse

Equinox_93 · Feb 4, 2009

Actually I chuckled at that visual.

I agree- I also have problems with raunchy/exploitive sex/Media. However, where we seem to disagree is that I don't *necessarily* lump stripping into that category. CAN it fall into that realm? Absolutely. Does it always? IMO, NO.

ah, so you winced at that visual too, yes? (girls gone wild)
heh.
yes and admittedly, i am somewhat conservative but not puritanical.
moreover, i do know women who dance to pay their way through grad school.
they view this extra income as "i've got the goods and they're in demand".
a no-nonsense, economic and business standpoint.
and yes, about all of us belonging to subcultures.
agreed.
but while i do believe in live and let live, i will protest raunchy, exploitative sex/Media...
or any standard of living that is corruptive and ultimately hurtful to others.
as to the op's question, yes, chances are dancing will come back to bite her and her career in nsg.
leslie

mamafeliz · Feb 4, 2009

There are a lot of things that are accepted by mainstream society that make little sense, so it's not exactly a valid argument to say that something isn't right simply because a majority of people disapprove for no just cause.

I find it interesting that your perception is that Mediaography/strippers, general sexualization of women is not mainstream. It is everywhere.

No, I am not religious. No, I am not uptight. I am trying to raise children in a society that wants to sexualize every female. I am trying to teach my daughter that she can be strong, esteemed, valued, loved without acting sexy and coy and stupid. I am encouraging her to love her strong, healthy beautiful body without it being conditional on being sexy to men. I am trying to guide my son to be drawn to characteristics of intelligence and strength and integrity as well as physical vibrance in the girls and women around him.

I work with the underserved in my community during the extremely vulnerable window of birth. I have held and comforted many young girls/women who have been deeply scarred by abuse, others by participation in the sex industry, many both, as they tend to go hand in hand. There may be no other time in a woman's life as birth where physical vulnerability becomes so apparent, and disassociation from core "empowerment" so stark. It is wrenching, and I applaud any effort to provide women with alternatives who are stuck in the sex industry.

I thank BabyLady for providing sources demonstrating the concrete connections between abuse and the sex industry.

For the minority who choose to participate in the sex industry that otherwise have options, I still encourage being honest about your contribution to perception of women in general. And, as the OP poster described, this may be an aspect of life that will have to be carefully hidden for success. I would not want to live with such shadows hanging over me. A life of integrity is one that demands honesty and transparency.

Equinox_93 · Feb 4, 2009

IMO- freedom and non-discrimination and a stop to the over-sexualization of women by society will only come when WOMEN stop limiting ourselves. Meaning- I think we ALL need to realize that BOTH viewpoints are acceptable, valid and respectable and stop trying to put on a show but rather to live for ourselves and what WE feel is right and best for our own situations. NOT what society dictates as desireable or needful. NOT what the men in our lives and in society want. But what WE choose. Those who choose to be more modest and follow the path that you are teaching your girls are fine- but SO ARE those who choose to embrace a more overt female sexual model. The key is IMO in the *choice* being both present and accepted. I agree- our society is grossly oversexualized- where you can't find anything decently modest for girls over a size 6 to wear and where Victorias Secret peddles soft Media between episodes of Sex In the City and whatever brazen soaps are on these days. The point being- WE define what is and isn't acceptable and desireable in women. NOT men. NOT "society in general". And until WE recognize our own power and exercise our own choice and make our own voices be heard along that line- it won't matter whether someone chooses to dance or chooses to wear a burqua or anything in between. MHO.

I find it interesting that your perception is that Mediaography/strippers, general sexualization of women is not mainstream. It is everywhere.
No, I am not religious. No, I am not uptight. I am trying to raise children in a society that wants to sexualize every female. I am trying to teach my daughter that she can be strong, esteemed, valued, loved without acting sexy and coy and stupid. I am encouraging her to love her strong, healthy beautiful body without it being conditional on being sexy to men. I am trying to guide my son to be drawn to characteristics of intelligence and strength and integrity as well as physical vibrance in the girls and women around him.
I work with the underserved in my community during the extremely vulnerable window of birth. I have held and comforted many young girls/women who have been deeply scarred by abuse, others by participation in the sex industry, many both, as they tend to go hand in hand. There may be no other time in a woman's life as birth where physical vulnerability becomes so apparent, and disassociation from core "empowerment" so stark. It is wrenching, and I applaud any effort to provide women with alternatives who are stuck in the sex industry.
I thank BabyLady for providing sources demonstrating the concrete connections between abuse and the sex industry.
For the minority who choose to participate in the sex industry that otherwise have options, I still encourage being honest about your contribution to perception of women in general. And, as the OP poster described, this may be an aspect of life that will have to be carefully hidden for success. I would not want to live with such shadows hanging over me. A life of integrity is one that demands honesty and transparency.

mamafeliz · Feb 4, 2009

I agree, to a point. My interpretation from the OP is that stripping has nothing to do with her fulfillment, or personal expression, or sensuality. It is a good paying job. She is doing it because there is a market. It is defined by someone else's need; men's.

I live in a community where women are brimming over with demonstrations of personal, sensual expression that is not defined by male need. Tribal belly dance, HoopDance, NIA are all expressions of female movement and power and expression that is not defined by providing male entertainment. It is my little subculture and we are not looking to male sexual attention to feel whole. Find your own definition for empowerment if you want to challenge the status quo, don't just step into what already exists and has been shown to oppress countless women.

leslie :-D · Feb 4, 2009

equi, i agree contextually what you are saying, but disagree that it is soley our own choices to make.

as long as there is a demand for Media/dancing, there will always be women who 'choose' to supply these services.

i too, have raised my kids that beauty and sensuality are derived from the inside, out.

my drop-dead-gorgeous 19 yo dtr was punished if she ever exploited her looks as a weapon.

i would not tolerate any of it.

i've raised my 16 and 18 yo sons, that girls are much more than boobs and butt, even if they don't yet realize this. (they, meaning the girls).

i agree in that it is despicable to be dressing our little ones in suggestive clothing, and much of this hype is r/t mass marketing and media...

i.e., what is fashionable.

our kids need to learn at a very young age, that success and any sense of self, is comprised of a journey that entails exploration, insight and confidence.

our kids need to learn the type of society we live in, that encourages quick fixes and immediate gratification.

i've worked very hard to negate this and to teach them otherwise.

and so, when our kids see that Media/dancing has its own 'perceived' set of rewards, i maintain that making one's own choices can have a set of unintended consequences.

it's time we all started thinking about how our decisions affect ea other and start living a bit more selflessly than selfishly.

leslie

eriksoln, BSN, RN · Feb 4, 2009

Well, I can tell the PO something from some research I've done on my own as a guy.

Years ago, I was considering trying to open/own a strip club. Now, before everyone blasts me with self righteousness, I was looking at it as a job, not a lifestyle. I had a lot of ideas that I thought would make my club unique too. A special guest room for designated drivers of bachelor parties (room would have dancers and all, just no booze), security trained to spot people unsafe to drive, all sorts of things.

I researched it a lot too. I figured, those places are such cash cows, why cant someone who wants to run a clean club in that business take advantage of it?

During the time I was looking into it, I asked a few of my classmates who knew the business well. I also talked to a few bartenders who tended such places in the past or still did stints at clubs once in awhile.

I got a lot of different opinions on it.....some said it wasnt the cash cow I tought, others said you'd never have to worry about money again. One thing was consistent with everyone I talked to though. They all agreed, it is not entirely possible to run an honest/clean strip club. It just isnt.

Staff, no matter how well you screen people before you hire them, will bring unwanted things into the picture. Drugs ALWAYS, through staff and customers, ALWAYS make their way into the facility. Prostetution is not uncommon, even when the owners/managers go out of their way to keep it from occuring. Then you have the stalkers, the strippers who prey on the stalkers for extra cash and then want you to protect them in and out of the club.

What I'm getting at is, there really is not such thing as a "clean" strip club, or at least thats the situation that was described to me. And, I did not get info. from prude people who had a poor opinion of the business. I got the advice from people in the business.

So, if you need the cash that bad, I'd find something else to do. Why? Not because I think its a poor reflection on you. In my mind this whole topic has nothing to do with "womens rights", "sexualization of women", or "being free". What is does have something to do with is your legal right to get a license. If you happen to be in the club while the cops bust in, even if you are not doing anything...........you may become guilty by association. Prostetution and drugs are big enough crimes to make it so you can not get a license. Its not that I dont think you have good intentions and would be there just to make cash. That was my idea, do it for the cash and leave the lifestyle in the club. But, there is risk of being pinned for something you were not doing.

squeakykitty · Feb 4, 2009

I haven't had the chance to read this entire thread, but the thought did occur to me that if a strip-club client ever ended up being the nurses patient, there could be some difficulties there. Not to mention any issues arising from co-workers and doctors that visited the club when the nurse is stripping.

Equinox_93 · Feb 4, 2009

I agree, to a point. My interpretation from the OP is that stripping has nothing to do with her fulfillment, or personal expression, or sensuality. It is a good paying job. She is doing it because there is a market. It is defined by someone else's need; men's.
I live in a community where women are brimming over with demonstrations of personal, sensual expression that is not defined by male need. Tribal belly dance, HoopDance, NIA are all expressions of female movement and power and expression that is not defined by providing male entertainment. It is my little subculture and we are not looking to male sexual attention to feel whole. Find your own definition for empowerment if you want to challenge the status quo, don't just step into what already exists and has been shown to oppress countless women.

... Just wanted to point out that it is a myth that men are the only ones who attend (and pay) at clubs. :) Also- bellydance is just as oogled by men as stripping- the only difference (in our crass culture) is that the women have a bit more clothing on and they don't get tipped. (Yes- bellydance is a cultural art form- but men are visual creatures and I'm sure neither one of us is so naieve as to think that men don't watch that with just as much lust and desire.) Again- one person's art form or one persons source of empowerment is highly subjective.

Also- let's not forget... nursing itself is defined by someone else's need.... that of the patient...

Sexuality is a need counted among Maslow's heirarchy of needs- even so far as to be considered a *foundational* part of the human experience. If women *choose* to provide a service catering to that need (of their own free will and without pressure or coersion) I think that should be a respected choice.

Equinox_93 · Feb 4, 2009

I disagree- I think it IS solely our own decision to make. I think we have the obligation to *weigh* that decision based on how it affects others- including socially- but in the end, it IS our decision to make. Unless someone is forcing us to do it- the choice is ours. Semantics perhaps- but I am a firm believer in self responsibility and taking ownership of ones choices.

The bit about raising our children with the knowledge that there is ALOT more to life and self than T&A I agree with you 100%. :)

I don't think there is anything wrong with being selfish. (Yes- you read that correctly :) ) I think the problems come about when consideration for others is ignored. In other words- I think the problem is with EXCESSIVE selfishness- or selfishness to the exclusion of all else. MHO.

equi, i agree contextually what you are saying, but disagree that it is soley our own choices to make.
as long as there is a demand for Media/dancing, there will always be women who 'choose' to supply these services.
i too, have raised my kids that beauty and sensuality are derived from the inside, out.
my drop-dead-gorgeous 19 yo dtr was punished if she ever exploited her looks as a weapon.
i would not tolerate any of it.
i've raised my 16 and 18 yo sons, that girls are much more than boobs and butt, even if they don't yet realize this. (they, meaning the girls).
i agree in that it is despicable to be dressing our little ones in suggestive clothing, and much of this hype is r/t mass marketing and media...
i.e., what is fashionable.
our kids need to learn at a very young age, that success and any sense of self, is comprised of a journey that entails exploration, insight and confidence.
our kids need to learn the type of society we live in, that encourages quick fixes and immediate gratification.
i've worked very hard to negate this and to teach them otherwise.
and so, when our kids see that Media/dancing has its own 'perceived' set of rewards, i maintain that making one's own choices can have a set of unintended consequences.
it's time we all started thinking about how our decisions affect ea other and start living a bit more selflessly than selfishly.
leslie

leslie :-D · Feb 4, 2009

I disagree- I think it IS solely our own decision to make. I think we have the obligation to *weigh* that decision based on how it affects others- including socially- but in the end, it IS our decision to make. Unless someone is forcing us to do it- the choice is ours. Semantics perhaps- but I am a firm believer in self responsibility and taking ownership of ones choices.
The bit about raising our children with the knowledge that there is ALOT more to life and self than T&A I agree with you 100%. :)
I don't think there is anything wrong with being selfish. (Yes- you read that correctly :) ) I think the problems come about when consideration for others is ignored. In other words- I think the problem is with EXCESSIVE selfishness- or selfishness to the exclusion of all else. MHO.

yep, we are talking semantics, acknowledging that categorically and literally, it is our choice to make.

all i'm saying is our choices can and do affect others.

leslie

Equinox_93 · Feb 4, 2009

I haven't had the chance to read this entire thread, but the thought did occur to me that if a strip-club client ever ended up being the nurses patient, there could be some difficulties there. Not to mention any issues arising from co-workers and doctors that visited the club when the nurse is stripping.

True- but the same could be said of nurses who *attend* strip clubs as patrons.... The "issues" of others seeing them there...

Shenanigans, RN · Feb 4, 2009

Honesty? I don't know.

Seriously? You shouldn't bloody do it. At all. Imagine what would happen if a customer from the flesh mill saw you in hospital and pointed it out to everyone? This isn't like a few picks you had shot in a bikini for a sports mag, if I understand correctly this is full blown clothing removal.

You could very easily loose your job. And I"m not sure about how your state's nursing board looks on it, but they could give you and your rego the flick for having "questionable character".

Frankly? Its a dangerous lifestyle to get yourself into. A lot of women can't get out of it, the money keeps them coming back. A lot of women in the stripping industry end up moving into prosititution, can get into drugs and God only knows what else. For your own safety you should just learn to live without the money this rakes in.

There's more to life then $. Plus, you're better then that! DOn't let the lustful desires of a group of drooling pigs and perverts turn you into a piece of meat!

You're so much better then that! Respect yourself! Get out of that women hating industry!