Working with all females - fringe benefit or danger zone?

[medlaw]

I am a middle aged lawyer starting the LVN program in Oct. I have chosen nursing as the last and, I think, the most rewarding career of my working life. My career path has been from engineer, real estate broker, pilot, certified personal trainer, to lawyer, all male dominated professions. Now I am entering a field dominated by females. My CNA class is 40/4 female. My first impression is that this is a great plus since I am single, no g/f, and looking for a serious relationship. I have dated nurses in the past and have always admired their dedication and ethics. I recognize that I should avoid involvement with females on my own floor/unit but what about those in other areas of the hospital, nursing home, etc? What do nurses think/feel about dating male nurses? What do the female docs think/feel about the male nurses? What do you think will be the reaction of the nursing staff when they find out that I am also a lawyer? I would not want that to detract from my duties as a health care worker.

[djc1981]

Working with women is definately Danger Zone. Start a new job and ur fresh meat. While this can come in handy in motivating some women, it can get to be dangerous when they get ur number off the call list and start txting you all hours of the day. You can't really be blunt and tell them ur not interested or it will cause strife at work, so ur stuck between a rock and a hard place until your newness wears off and you settle in.

I've tried everything... telling them I'm gay, I have a girlfriend, etc, nothing really works - if anything it seems to boost the number of advances if you are unavailable.

Its a careful balancing act. I would advise any male nurse to NOT date anyone at work. I've done it, it can get very ugly.

I'm goin to buy a wedding band when I go to Vegas in Nov, see how that affects things. I've started agency nursing recently and I'm fresh meat everywhere I go now /sigh

Ahh...must be so terribly difficult to be so incredibly irresistible.

[rmarz]

Mr Garrettson said it best: Being all hot and sexy sure is fun for awhile but it sure does get boring.

It really does get old. The worst situation was this little CNA whispers in my ear, "I know how to keep you awake." At the beginning of a noc shift. DON had to hear about that one, it was a little far.

[Audrey28]

LMAO- I think its women and MEN:clown: that are like this- I've had to do the same thing- tell them I am seeing someone- [even though I'm not seeing anyone] and like you said they don't care. They just try even harder.

- Where I am working now [i'm still just a student]- I work at a Student Travel Agency-- a guy in the department across from me keeps hitting on me- and saying Mmmmm don't you look good today- or you look good enough to eat- yea- he says stuff like that, or lets go get stuck on the elevator-- and He's dating someone and they have kids together. While I don't want to make a big deal out of it and get him fired or anything- its not that bad- but I don't really know how to tell him to stop hitting on me... And let me tell you from experience -the wedding band won't stop women like that- it hasn't stopped men like that for me- when I was married... But GOOD LUCK! LOL:)

Working with women is definately Danger Zone. Start a new job and ur fresh meat. While this can come in handy in motivating some women, it can get to be dangerous when they get ur number off the call list and start txting you all hours of the day. You can't really be blunt and tell them ur not interested or it will cause strife at work, so ur stuck between a rock and a hard place until your newness wears off and you settle in.

I've tried everything... telling them I'm gay, I have a girlfriend, etc, nothing really works - if anything it seems to boost the number of advances if you are unavailable.

Its a careful balancing act. I would advise any male nurse to NOT date anyone at work. I've done it, it can get very ugly.

I'm goin to buy a wedding band when I go to Vegas in Nov, see how that affects things. I've started agency nursing recently and I'm fresh meat everywhere I go now /sigh

[Unavailable]

i thinks its alright working with de girls(especially hot ones) but it def gets old when they start talking about the new ('hot') young doc in handover

[Eyefish999]

many relationships and marriages do start at work, espacially working full time with the same people day after day, warm feelings and friendships can and will arise.

[twistedpupchaser]

If a female workmate is wearing a t-shirt that says "Eat me I'm Organic" at an education day do you....

1/ Comment

2/ Pretend to ignore it

3/ Don't notice

One of these responses can get you in hot water in many ways, the other two are safer..but not as much fun. Only you can decide what you want to get out of the experience of working with women.

BTW, women at work are not just "one of the boys", it doesn't work.

[Jeffthenurse]

If a female workmate is wearing a t-shirt that says "Eat me I'm Organic" at an education day do you....

1/ Comment

2/ Pretend to ignore it

3/ Don't notice

A female nurse shouldn't be wearing a t-shirt of any kind at work. It's unprofessional. Scrubs are appropriate and they come in different colors. Here's a question for everyone.....can a woman look professional and feminine at the same time without drawing undue attention to herself? I think so.

[twistedpupchaser]

Hi Jeffthenurse, I agree with you on this. The point I was making is that as a male workmate there is a fine line if you make any form of comment in that situation.

My workmate wore this t-shirt to an education day, ie: a course that was held outside of the ward environment so we could wear "normal" clothes. But yes I still think it was inappropriate for any type of work environment

[Audrey28]

If a female workmate is wearing a t-shirt that says "Eat me I'm Organic" at an education day do you....

1/ Comment

2/ Pretend to ignore it

3/ Don't notice

One of these responses can get you in hot water in many ways, the other two are safer..but not as much fun. Only you can decide what you want to get out of the experience of working with women.

BTW, women at work are not just "one of the boys", it doesn't work.

I'd comment. LOL I would say something to her myself. haha :wink2:

I have seen the shirts that guys wear too that say Atkins Approved and has an arrow pointing down ... haha I'm actually an Atkins girl. But I wouldn't say anything to those guys.

Seriously though- I would not comment- or wait until afterwards to say something.

[josh1974, LPN]

Original dude says he's going to LVN school, not RN.

[Miwila]

I've always considered it to be a danger zone. We live in a society where women in the workplace can get away with certain codes of behavior a man can't - and rightfully so - but it should cut both ways.

Nurses, particularly the younger ones, think that if they bat their eyelids at you you have to do whatever they choose not too because "you're the man." Some don't even bothering batting eyelids, they just automatically assume their gender means you exist to catch their slack.

A woman can say things to a man that a man can't say to a woman. For example, women will easily make comments about a man's body. You tell a woman she's overweight even as a joke and you wind up being counseled in HR.

Women will ask a man personal, intimate questions about his body parts that if a man were to ask a woman it would be considered sexual harrasment.

Women in groups can sit around having explicitly sexual conversations whereas if it were men doing the same it would be considered sexual harrasment (even if they weren't speaking directly to any woman).

It takes a degree of maturity to study and work as a nurse so I find most nurses, especially older nurses, to be extremely professional, especially when compared to other female-dominated workplaces I've been in. (I once had a woman scream sexual harrasment because I accidentally bumped into her. And we're not even talking about a woman a man would want to harrass sexually. As a matter of fact if she weren't so overweight I wouldn't have bumped her in the first place.) But there are bad apples. You have to watch your P's and Q's because working around those bad apples is like walking on eggshells. You never know when something is going to crack.

[Jeffthenurse]

I think the reason that it can be difficult to work with some women these days is because of all the sexual abuse they had to put up with for so long. I'm careful now about the jokes I tell but I haven't lost my sense of humor and I can usually find a patient or a female colleague willing to hear a joke. I don't repeat foul, dirty jokes.

So what if a female colleague asks suggestive questions about a man's body parts? I would consider it a compliment but would change the subject. You have to respect their rights and they have to respect yours. I don't worry over charges of sexual harrassment....I'm confident in my abilities as a nurse and I think I can convince any jury of my innocence of the charges and make the plaintiff look really stupid and incompetent, along with any supervisor who sided with her in the process.