I am a middle aged lawyer starting the LVN program in Oct. I have chosen nursing as the last and, I think, the most rewarding career of my working life. My career path has been from engineer, real estate broker, pilot, certified personal trainer, to lawyer, all male dominated professions. Now I am entering a field dominated by females. My CNA class is 40/4 female. My first impression is that this is a great plus since I am single, no g/f, and looking for a serious relationship. I have dated nurses in the past and have always admired their dedication and ethics. I recognize that I should avoid involvement with females on my own floor/unit but what about those in other areas of the hospital, nursing home, etc? What do nurses think/feel about dating male nurses? What do the female docs think/feel about the male nurses? What do you think will be the reaction of the nursing staff when they find out that I am also a lawyer? I would not want that to detract from my duties as a health care worker.
Specializes in Nurse Manager, Med-Surg, Instructor.
I could go on and on with this topic....I've been a nurse for over 30 years and worked with some really terrific female nurses and made many friends because I showed them respect. When I was a student I was also interested in dating several of my classmates and one day, two of them came to me and said, "If you don't stop treating the women in this class (us included) like sex objects, we won't help you in clinical, you'll have no friends, and we'll watch you flunk out like the other men who preceeded you here. We want to be treated with respect." I followed their advice, graduated, and have had a long, successful career in nursing, working with women (and men) from all over the USA and all over the world. One of the two is still my friend.
The rules of working with women have changed over the years. DON"T TOUCH! OK to shake hands but don't pat them on their back....would you put your hands all over your male co-workers? Treat the women the same way. Regarding clothing-if you want to comment about the way a female co-worker is dressed, ask yourself if the reason you want to comment is because she "fills out the blouse really well" then don't comment! And watch those jokes---they get really upset sometimes and might charge you with sexual harrassment.
Unfortunately, male nurses are often thought of as either sexual predators or gay, or both. It isn't funny and I'm often seen as a "threat." I've had to prove to some patients and co-workers that I'm not gay or homophobic, a sexual predator, or a threat and sometimes I'm not wanted by some patients. Often, if they gave me a chance, I could prove to them I was a good nurse.
I would not date co-workers or classmates---if the relationship ends badly, she could make it very difficult for you. Wait until after you graduate.
I could go on and on with this topic....I've been a nurse for over 30 years and worked with some really terrific female nurses and made many friends because I showed them respect. When I was a student I was also interested in dating several of my classmates and one day, two of them came to me and said, "If you don't stop treating the women in this class (us included) like sex objects, we won't help you in clinical, you'll have no friends, and we'll watch you flunk out like the other men who preceeded you here. We want to be treated with respect." I followed their advice, graduated, and have had a long, successful career in nursing, working with women (and men) from all over the USA and all over the world. One of the two is still my friend.
The rules of working with women have changed over the years. DON"T TOUCH! OK to shake hands but don't pat them on their back....would you put your hands all over your male co-workers? Treat the women the same way. Regarding clothing-if you want to comment about the way a female co-worker is dressed, ask yourself if the reason you want to comment is because she "fills out the blouse really well" then don't comment! And watch those jokes---they get really upset sometimes and might charge you with sexual harrassment.
Unfortunately, male nurses are often thought of as either sexual predators or gay, or both. It isn't funny and I'm often seen as a "threat." I've had to prove to some patients and co-workers that I'm not gay or homophobic, a sexual predator, or a threat and sometimes I'm not wanted by some patients. Often, if they gave me a chance, I could prove to them I was a good nurse.
I would not date co-workers or classmates---if the relationship ends badly, she could make it very difficult for you. Wait until after you graduate.
-Jeff
wow that sounds terrible
dont pat them on the back? everyone thinks ur gay or a sexual predator?
No one is probably going to give a crap that you're also a lawyer. If anything they'll wonder what the heck you were thinking giving that up going into nursing?
As far as the danger zone thing, once you get comfortable with your coworkers it's like working with a bunch of guys, really. As long as you're not creepy...
Just be a normal well adjusted person, have respect, and try not to look down your female coworker's shirts when they're helping you roll a patient or something.
Maybe being around women during work is good for him. He will have to decide. Sometimes men in nursing are ignored because women who have been married for a number of years become conditioned to hear what comes out of a man's mouth as white noise.
LOL You could be right- I know some women like that...
I got married young- [had my daughter when I was 20 got married at 22- [i'm now 28]- he left 8 months later and we got divorced.] I've had some rough breakups along the way- but I don't hold it against every other man I meet. LOL And I do love a male perspective:p - I love to know what guys really think- and a lot of my friends are guys. Its nice to have their input sometimes- I wouldn't mind working with male nurses- it wouldn't bother me if they were male OR female- I don't really pay attention to sex, race, or anything else- I'm not going to lie sometimes I do tune out SOME guys comments- the ones who are cocky- :yawn:or PIGS- LOL But I have respect for the ones who are NOT:yeah: and the ones who actually have something to say. LOL Either way I wish the OP tons of luck in whatever field he decides to go in to!:wink2:
danger zone for sure. most of the women i work with are crazy. i would not want to date them nor do they want to date you. it's much more fun for them to flirt with docs that make a minimum of 4x what you do.
danger zone for sure. most of the women i work with are crazy. i would not want to date them nor do they want to date you. it's much more fun for them to flirt with docs that make a minimum of 4x what you do.
I already commented a few times- but thought I would respond to your comment... LOL hahaha Its funny that some of you guys think that all women want are "boy toys"- and maybe there are some ladies who go looking for it-but got news for you - there are more improtant things in life- and men [whether they are nurses or whatever] aren't at the top of the list:lol2:... LOL Neither are the DR.'s that make the "big bucks". Money doesn't buy my happiness.
I just want to be a great Nurse- have my career- take care of my daughter- I don't go out looking for "love" though- whatever happens happens...
But I do agree with you on the fact that its a danger zone- I think fooling around with guys you work with is a no-no [no matter where you are working]. If two people were to actually fall in love and get married that worked together -I think that is a different story- but having a fling with someone is bad news.
I'm a recent new grad so I would definitely agree it is probably safer to avoid dating those at least on the same floor. I'm not sure what everyone else thinks, but I don't think it would be a huge deal if they worked on some other floor in the hospital and or a different hospital. I also enjoy working with females because they don't have the alpha male thing going on. I hate that more than anything. Its nice to have a guy or two thrown in though...it helps having a little testosterone around.
It would be cool to try and date a doc at some point. I'm not really to worried about it right now, but it would be fun to try.
Working with women is definately Danger Zone. Start a new job and ur fresh meat. While this can come in handy in motivating some women, it can get to be dangerous when they get ur number off the call list and start txting you all hours of the day. You can't really be blunt and tell them ur not interested or it will cause strife at work, so ur stuck between a rock and a hard place until your newness wears off and you settle in.
I've tried everything... telling them I'm gay, I have a girlfriend, etc, nothing really works - if anything it seems to boost the number of advances if you are unavailable.
Its a careful balancing act. I would advise any male nurse to NOT date anyone at work. I've done it, it can get very ugly.
I'm goin to buy a wedding band when I go to Vegas in Nov, see how that affects things. I've started agency nursing recently and I'm fresh meat everywhere I go now /sigh
I don't really pay attention to sex, race, or anything else- I'm not going to lie sometimes I do tune out SOME guys comments- the ones who are cocky- :yawn:or PIGS- LOL But I have respect for the ones who are NOT:yeah: and the ones who actually have something to say. LOL 
Either way I wish the OP tons of luck in whatever field he decides to go in to!:wink2:
Jeffthenurse
69 Posts
I could go on and on with this topic....I've been a nurse for over 30 years and worked with some really terrific female nurses and made many friends because I showed them respect. When I was a student I was also interested in dating several of my classmates and one day, two of them came to me and said, "If you don't stop treating the women in this class (us included) like sex objects, we won't help you in clinical, you'll have no friends, and we'll watch you flunk out like the other men who preceeded you here. We want to be treated with respect." I followed their advice, graduated, and have had a long, successful career in nursing, working with women (and men) from all over the USA and all over the world. One of the two is still my friend.
The rules of working with women have changed over the years. DON"T TOUCH! OK to shake hands but don't pat them on their back....would you put your hands all over your male co-workers? Treat the women the same way. Regarding clothing-if you want to comment about the way a female co-worker is dressed, ask yourself if the reason you want to comment is because she "fills out the blouse really well" then don't comment! And watch those jokes---they get really upset sometimes and might charge you with sexual harrassment.
Unfortunately, male nurses are often thought of as either sexual predators or gay, or both. It isn't funny and I'm often seen as a "threat." I've had to prove to some patients and co-workers that I'm not gay or homophobic, a sexual predator, or a threat and sometimes I'm not wanted by some patients. Often, if they gave me a chance, I could prove to them I was a good nurse.
I would not date co-workers or classmates---if the relationship ends badly, she could make it very difficult for you. Wait until after you graduate.
-Jeff