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Will I be shunned?


So I've always been a solo flyer when it comes to studying and I'm wondering if I do not act as "part of the group" if I will be asking for trouble. I was just accepted to an ADN-RN program. Clearly this is a generic question but I get the feeling that in nursing school your cohort is generally pretty tight (except for the people that hate their classmates)


Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.

Please don't let the drama get you down. You're an adult learner. Yes, some of your classmates might act like they're in high school (or middle school) but remember this is only two years out of your life. Be kind and cordial to your classmates but remember, this isn't a popularity contest. It's nursing school.

I wouldn't go out of my way to torque someone off but you can survive without getting embroiled in other people's drama. Nursing school is very stressful and sometimes people can act badly when they're stressed.

Remember, too, nurses and students come here to vent. Yes, there will be drama in your program. There's drama in every program. But chances are, it's not going to get as bad as it sometimes seems here.

Congratulations on getting accepted! You're going to be okay.


Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner. Has 5 years experience.

I don't like study groups, because they seem to socialize while studying, my time is too precious for that. I've done group projects alone, because I wasn't happy with the work my "group" was doing. Also I study better alone at my own crazy pace.

traumaRUs, MSN, APRN, CNS

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU. Has 27 years experience.

I went to nursing school as an adult, married with kids. didn't care to socialize, did my work, got my degree and went on. 19 yrs later can't remember anyone, student or faculty. Lol


Specializes in Student.

I also Just got accepted and was wondering about the same things.

During pre-reqs I got a taste of the users, who are your friend as long as

you have somethhing they want (usually the Answers), don't do their own work, and are puzzled when you won't supply them.

The constant Yackers -

Those who are too busy socializing to listen, do homework or that old time waster - that takes them away from their social life STUDYING.

I plan to be polite and freindly, watch what goes on from a distance, but not get caught up in any special group.

I have a hubby, a son, as well as extended family who are all making sacrifices for me to go to nursing school - any (ha) extra enegry will go towards them, especially my son, who is already worried that school will take away his Mom-time.

Maybe all of us "loners" can have our own group, we already realize that we are here to learn, and that our study time is precious.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych. Has 14 years experience.

I was an adult student during my time in nursing school (age 23-24 while attending an LVN program and age 28-29 while enrolled in an RN completion program). Since I am a hardcore introvert with an inward focus, I made no special efforts to be a part of the larger clique. I was usually polite to my classmates, but was never involved in any study groups. I always studied alone and prefer it that way.

You are in nursing school to become a nurse. You are not there to make friends. If studying alone feels more comfortable to you, keep on doing it. Don't worry about what the others will think.

First congrats on getting accepted. If study groups work for you great, if not then study alone. No one is going to look down on you for that. Everyone learns differently. Study groups can be great, but it can also be a waist of time just as someone on here already said it seems to be more of social hour. I say when you start you will figure out what works best for you.

I don't see why you should be shunned. I dunno, So far my nursing school experience has been great. I also prefer to study alone. Study groups just don't work for me. I've said this to classmates. They don't mind. I still feel close to them. We discuss things, have lunch together, talk about the joys and frustrations of nursing school as well as non nursing school issues. We help each other as needed in clinicals. When it comes to studying, I just prefer to fly solo. No one has shunned me.

I also want to say don't go into nursing school with any pre-conceived notions. After reading a lot of horror stories about nursing school, the instructors and students, I was soooo so anxious about school. Ya know what, my nursing school experience has been nothing like the crazy stories I've heard.

taalyn_1, CNA

Specializes in CNA.

I prefer to study alone too. There are a few study groups going, but they are at times I cannot go so I just study on my own. Some created a FB page for our class which is awesome as its a way to connect and share frustrations or revelations. But as for getting it into my head, I prefer to do that on my own.

I like my classmates, they are all friendly and very bright. I do not mind socializing while in school/clinicals but most live relatively far away from where I do so socializing outside of that is not really an option. I dont think you will be shunned, just be friendly and do what you have to do to get through the classes. Some of your classmates may in fact become good friends, some you will forget all about and never see again... I would just be open to that and let come what may. Good Luck.

Thanks everyone for your replies, I figured it would be like anything else in life and would be better if I went into it with an open mind :). I too find that study groups move too slow for my liking or like you all said it turns into social hour. Social hour is fine (when I'm out with my colleague RN's after a Friday evening shift two years from now :).)

I was concerned as I am much closer to a Trad. student than it seems many of you are! I am a 22 y.o. male and thought it might look more "standoffish" if I were to not involve myself terribly with everyone. I mean, I am an extrovert but school has always been serious business for me.

Also like one of the original respondents noted, I got a taste early on in my pre-reqs for the type of "partners" that sit around in lab because they don't know what to do, and then get equal credit. I won't let this happen in NS, because although my post makes it seem like I am a shy/quiet person, I'm really not.


Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.

Yeah, there are some who might think that you're being standoffish. Just tell them upfront that you prefer to study alone. You can still be friendly and fit in without having to join a study group.

You might want to join your student nurse organization at your school. It would be a good way to get to know classmates on a different level as well as get involved with some of the issues facing nursing.

BTW, being a guy, you might be able to avoid some of the drama. You also might get a little more attention, some positive, some negative, from classmates and instructors.

Just be careful not to distance yourself too much. I'm a shy person so no one in class except for a few students spoke to me and I can count on my hands how many times that happened. It was like high school and the groups formed quickly. I had no one in lab to practice lab with except the instructors and no friends to talk to about the class. It was rather lonely. Because of this I could not miss class or clinical because I couldn't rely on anyone to give me information about what when on that day. Just be open and friendly and not standoffish or it will her you in the long run like it did me.

I was one of those people who had to commute many miles to attend school. My class mates didn't want to have anything to do with coming to my place for study groups, etc. I always had to be the one who was inconvenienced, so as much as possible, I did it on my own. I did just fine. If they shun you and you work alone, you will more than likely do better. I would not worry about it.


Specializes in ortho, med/surg.

I just finished my nursing school experience :D I wouldn't worry so much about being "shunned" for not being in a study group. Most of the people I met studied by themselves. I always had an excuse since I commuted 1 hour each way. I never get anything from study groups since people tend to socialize and not review.

Do what works best for YOU. Nursing school is for YOU and no one else! I made some friends and was very nice to everyone I met but it was not my main concern to worry about getting involved with other students.

Congrats on beginning nursing school!!! It is a great journey and when you survive and finish it's the best feeling in the world :nurse:


Specializes in RN. Has 3 years experience.

I am a complete social butterfly, and I am good with that. It has gotten in the way of being real serious in school at times, but humor is valuable to me, and I think a valuable tool in NS. Personally, I have some in my class who never socialize at all. May be a weakness of mine, but i don't trust folks who are antisocial. In my opinion, [people and relationships are the BEST thing about being in this world. I try to contribute to the greater good whenever I can, because there is always a time when I need someone else. I don't care for those who are "distant" as a rule, but then want to pick my brain for some help when they have offered none. Just my $.02

Do what works for you and good luck!


Specializes in CVICU, CCU, MICU.

I am an outgoing person and enjoy being social however that is not what I am in nursing school for I am there to learn and become an RN. I am an extremely focused person because I want the best for myself. I do not see anything wrong with that. Study groups are good if I can surround myself with people with the same determination. After meeting many different types of people while i was taking my pre-reqs I can tell who to surround myself with and who to be casual with.


Specializes in RN. Has 3 years experience.

That is good knowledge to have. I am envious of your focus!! Mine is deteriorating, one more semester to go. I am sure you will be fine. Groups have not worked the best for me either. However, the comradery has been invaluable for my sanity. Your point is well taken. No offense intended!



Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.

However, the comradery has been invaluable for my sanity.

You know what's strange? I started a grad program several years ago but had a 100-mile commute and knew no one. Most of my classmates were from the area and many worked together at the major medical center in the community. I don't mind studying by myself and I wasn't there to make friends, but the students were so darned cliquish. It made doing group work an agonizing experience because no one wanted to work with someone who lived so far away. I also felt I had no support group. My friends back home didn't understand and I didn't have anyone in my class whom I could call or meet for coffee or anything.

I'm finishing up an online MSN at a small brick-and-mortar university and when I started, I fully expected to feel like a lone wolf. My school is heavy on group work and at first we all panicked because no one lived in the area and could get together. So we got creative. We sent emails, used online discussion groups, instant messaging, Wimba classroom. Two of my dearest friends are people I met through this program because we were assigned to the same group. I have another friend whom I talked into going to this program and he has formed a friendship with one of his group members. It's been much easier to get peer group support in an online, distance ed program than it was to connect in a cliquish, on-campus program.

I would have lost my sanity for sure without the support of the friends I have made in this program.