Why are they after me?

[MJJFan1, BSN, RN]

Ok this may be long but idk, ill try. SO..........I was called (at work) by my employer and she says "what happened last Saturday?" and I'm like "I dont know what you are talking about." She tells me that she received an email stating (from my nurse manager) that I had an "encounter" with a nurse supervisor. And I told her that I still didn't know what she was talking about, that the only time I had seen the supervisor was when the charge nurse had called to see if another nurse could leave with us at 7 instead of 11 because we'd only had 1 patient on the floor and 4 nurses coming in for the night shift! Ok this is where it gets good. At this time, a patient family member had come to the station stating that he was told he couldn't spend the night with his wife and at this time, myself and another nurse (while the supervisor was there mind you) told the family member it was the floor's policy that family members not spend the night. With the supervisor there, the charge nurse basically consulted her asking what she thought and she (the nurse supervisor) also said no. Well this family member starting raising sand and the supervisor gave in. The family member went back to the patient's room and the supervisor states "im not going to argue with him." I then stood up and said TO AN UNLICENSEND ASSISTIVE PERSONNEL, "Imma go take a breather on that one."

Ok fellow nurses, please tell me where was the encounter? specifically what was the encounter concerning patient care? I don't recall saying anything to the supervisor, infact, all I said was the floor's policy and I was gonna take a breather! Why did I get a nasty gram sent to my employer about that? Why did my nurse manager send this nasty gram and didn't ask me about it first? please help me understand! Oh and if it helps, the two nurses I worked with spoke with my employer on the phone and told my employer exactly this.

[nurse2033, MSN, RN]

It sounds like you are the victim of a passive aggressive personality. She got upset by what you said but was too afraid to talk to you openly so she went to the boss and complained. You should tell your boss that the supervisor had the opportunity to talk to you but said nothing. Since nothing was said, you correctly assumed that nothing was wrong. I just had a very similar thing happen to me so I know how it feels. Too bad.

[MJJFan1, BSN, RN]

What was there to be upset about though? You know? Are we as nurses supposed to just be robots or something

[MurrR]

She may have felt that you had a negative outlook on her decision not to "argue" with the patient (The fact that you don't have to "argue" with people you disagree with is totally another topic!) and that your offhand remark was a reflection of your poor perspective on her decision.

I'm not saying that's what you did, I'm just saying that's how she may have interpreted your actions.

If it were me, I might approach her the next time there's a moment and say something like "I understand that you may have been upset by something I said the last time we were on shift. I just wanted to say that I didn't mean anything negative about you or your decision, I just needed a break for my own personal reasons."

Validates her feelings, explains your actions, doesn't assign blame anywhere.

[MJJFan1, BSN, RN]

I feel you on that Murr but i still don't understand what the encounter was

[MurrR]

Unless you can step inside her head and replay that moment from inside there, you're not going to. This "encounter" is all happening on her end, so I wouldn't worry too much unless your manager is irked about it.

[MJJFan1, BSN, RN]

That's what irks me. Why didn't my nurse manager ask me about this. He just took her word and seent a letter to my employer. He could have atleast asked the other nurses behind my back or something.

[Mulan]

Your nurse manager contacted your employer?

Who is the employer?

Are you agency?

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

Who is your "employer?" My nurse manager on my unit is my direct supervisor. Are you talking about a director of nursing or something?

I would speak to both my nurse manager and the supervisor in question to clarify exactly what specific actions were considered an "encounter." Also, think back to your tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language when you made your "Imma go take a breather on that one" comment. Any chance your nonverbal cues could have been perceived as disrespectful or insubordinate? Just because you made your comment to an "unlicensed assistive personnel" does not mean it was not easily heard and noted by the supervisor and perceived to be a negative and judgmental of her decision regarding the patient family member.

[MJJFan1, BSN, RN]

I'm a contractor. And I work at an armed forces hospital so some of the titles are different. Me saying imma take a breather on this one had nothing at all to do with her. I was bothered because the family member raised his voice to her knowing she was a high ranking official certainly higher ranking than him. However no one asked what I meant by saying that, I just got a nasty gram sent to my employer. But now I seriously don't like that woman!

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

Inexperienced or insecure supervisors simply can't stand their decisions being questioned. It makes them crazy.

What you describe has happened to me more than once. So I rarely voice an opinion about any decision made by a sup.

[Mulan]

Are you civilian and she military?

If so, that says a lot to me right there.