Why do nurses have to "eat their young"?

[kimmyj74]

I'm on my second week orienting in a nursing home on night shift. My first job out of school.

Each day I feel more confident and I am doing more on my own....now I get CNA's snapping at me for asking questions about how pt's transfer, for not answering call bells in the middle of a med pass, and worst of all the RN supervisor snapped at me saying "you need to get your **** together".

Why do nurses have to be so mean to new nurses? Maybe I'm just thin skinned but I bawled my eyes out all the way home this AM. :cry:I'm beginning to think being a nurse isn't for me. Maybe a nice quiet office nurse position would be better for me. Maybe I'm just exhausted and overwhelmed!

Any suggestions?

[herestoreality]

I understand completely and I thank you for your words, they echo my situation. The reality of your first year is disappointing at times and rewarding at others. LTC (LPN), over 50 people on 3 wings to pass meds on an 8 hr shift, 4 drsg. changes, 4 res. for supps., and one staff who constantly points out your errors to the DON and gossips...... feelings of inadequacy galore... Pray...alot... I repeat the lord's prayer (thankfully in my head) when the feelings of panic take over. Good luck and thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[rockenmomRN]

b/c they are yummie :)

[Jasel, BSN, RN]

In 2 days it will be my 4 month mark at my first job. I've never had to deal with the entire "eating your young" phenomenon that I heard so much about. But I honestly think it's because I'm a male.

[Nurseinprocess]

In 2 days it will be my 4 month mark at my first job. I've never had to deal with the entire "eating your young" phenomenon that I heard so much about. But I honestly think it's because I'm a male.

I'm right behind you and I haven't been eaten yet either, but the staff I work with is on the younger side, I work with mostly nurses my age (mid-late thirties). Most have not been a nurse longer than 14 yrs (two of them) and most less than 2 yrs.

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

about 40% of our staff is male. there are gossips among both genders, but i think the men are actually worse. backstabbing and "cattiness" is a human thing, and i don't think one gender has it over the other there. nastiness -- not unique to women, either. we have a couple of male nurses that no one wants to give report to because they're so nasty. and laziness . . . the laziest 5 or 6 nurses in our unit are all men. i think some people just don't like their own gender so they have to bad mouth women to strangers on the internet.

we have a couple of problem males in my department too ...i agree with ruby here. difficult coworkers are often described as female .... are males held to a different standard ???

the three males in my area are a problem because they are male chauvinists ...they demonstrate poor attitude toward females.

one is an evangelical christian who thinks males are the natural leaders of women.

the other two are just plain chauvinists.

all three are lazy and only do the most vital cares ....their p'ts don't have their snacks and fluids inbetween meals, never get mouthcare, their p'ts beds are full of electrode covers and other plastic bits and pieces and their bedspaces are a complete mess with old drinks and medicine cups, kleenex everywhere, dentures and hearing aids get lost

they never never get pulled up over this

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

To all the new nurses.

Whenever you have an unfortunate interaction with a coworker, instead of automatically labeling it as 'eating their young' .... why not take a breather and think about the interaction.

Sure, there are people who bully new nurses. But there are other explanations to consider.

Other things to consider are :

- Poor manners

- Cultural clash

- Intergenerational differences

- Generally mean, nasty person

- Just made a mistake

- Stress reaction

- Lack social skills ....ie ignorance

- Know manners but have decided these are from a bygone era and don't apply to the hipster who's being rude to you

- Exhausted coworker who's not aware they were rude to you

- Your own nursing care is concerning

- Your own attitude may need readjustment

Good survival tactic is to understand the situation before rushing to the 'eating the young' thing

[nursel56]

Bravo pedicurn! Maybe all of us in nursing should print out your list and carry it in our pocket because I still fall prey to the thought that a little sigh or oddly arched eyebrow means I'm about to get fired.

I've got a co-worker who has a habit of increasing volume as she talks, even if the content isn't angry-- so after a while she is in-your-face yelling. One night I just lost it and yelled back at her "stop yelling at me!" She stopped dead in her tracks and began to profusely apologize. She literally didn't hear herself. It could easily have been misinterpreted by someone who didn't know her. She also pokes people and gives their arm a little shove.

I don't think there is intention to provoke anger. I'm not a psych nurse but it's plain odd to me. Like an impulse control disorder. Anyway, I know to breathe and step back before I react to it defensively.

[NotReady4PrimeTime, RN]

I have to agree with Ruby Vee that nastiness isn't a gender-specific trait. I would say that proportionally we have just as many really nasty male nurses as we do females. But the degree of viciousness is heavily weighted on the male end. One of our men is more malicious than any of our women... and he's also lazy. He makes such a scene if he has a patient assignment that our management appeases him by putting him in charge or making him the code nurse. He works permanent nights so none of them have to deal with his behaviour so he's free to run rampant over everyone while sitting at the desk surfing the Web.

[eric909]

b/c they are yummie :)

lol I so desperate for my first RN job I have the BBQ sauce ready *wine