Why do nurses eat their young?

[cinthern]

I received my DREAM JOB last June in L&D as a new grad and was basically taught everything I know from my wonderful preceptor. I was hired for nights, because that was what was available at the time of hire, but let the nurse manager know right then and there that IF EVER a day time position opened up, and nobody else wanted it, I would be very interested.

I oriented on days for 8 months, and started the night shift about 8 weeks ago. Right before I was going to nights it was clear that days were being shorted, and they were going to open up a day spot. NOBODY FROM NIGHTS WANTED THIS POSITION, and I inquired about it with my "fellow coworkers". Well, what I got was the complete opposite of what I expected. These "fellow coworkers" who complimented me on a daily basis of what a great learner I was, a team player, and a wonderful DR nurse turned on me so fast that my head was spinning. When I privately asked my preceptor what everyone was so upset was, she pointed her finger in my face and sternly said "I SAT IN ON YOUR INTERVIEW 8 MONTHS AGO, AND YOU CLEARLY STATED THAT YOU WWOULD WORK NIGHTS!" She then went on to say that people would be very angry if I went to the day shift being a brand new grad and all. Again, let me remind you, NOBODY WANTED THE DAY POSITION. Then, a per diem day person decided to take it.

2 months later, in walks a nurse from another hospital who was hired to work days, never saw her before, no job was posted, nothing. Just came out of the blue. Again, I questioned it, and had my head bit off from many people who think I have no right to inquire or even desire a day shift so soon in my "career".

Anyway, just wanted to vent, can anyone explain why this occurs? All input is greatly appreciated.

TIA!

Jennie

[SueBee RN-BSN]

Every single nurse in this fourm has been eaten, and has eaten. Most are shamed to admit it. Abuse is a cycle, and we all know it.

Stand up for yourself, and teach nurses to become strong together. If some nurses refuse to follow, or lead others to a better profession, well, tell them lead, follow or get out of the way. It's really that simple-

[caroladybelle, BSN, RN]

Every single nurse in this fourm has been eaten, and has eaten. Most are shamed to admit it. Abuse is a cycle, and we all know it.

No, my dear, much of what gets labeled "eating'" is not abuse but miscommunication, constructive criticism taken wrong, or oversensitive feelings.

While there is definitely some abuse in healthcare, it is not the pervasive ill that you perceive it to be. And it is just as prevalent in most other professions. But quite a bit of "eating" really isn't.

Please do ascribe what YOU feel to all of the rest of us. Not "every single" ever really is.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

ok . . . there is another long thread that alot of us posted responses to about the stereotype of "nurses" eating their young plus there are many other threads about this as well.

many of us reject the stereotype that "nurses" eat their young. i myself believe that there are jerks/bullies in all walks of life.

just since that recent thread, there has been a series of articles in the news regarding office bullies. there is a bestselling book called "the no a$$hole rule".

http://blog.guykawasaki.com/2006/10/you_have_to_lov.html

some of the clues you are dealing with a bully or orificehole:

1. personal insults
   
2. invading one's personal territory
   
3. uninvited personal contact
   
4. threats and intimidation, both verbal and non-verbal
   
5. sarcastic jokes and teasing used as insult delivery systems
   
6. withering email flames
   
7. status slaps intended to humiliate their victims
   
8. public shaming or status degradation rituals
   
9. rude interruptions
   
10. two-faced attacks
    
11. dirty looks
    
12. treating people as if they are invisible
    

now, come on folks . . . . these people are sprinkled throughout our lives in every single solitary career choice that there has been on earth since time began.

steph

[SmilingBluEyes]

Because you taste good.

. Why brand the whole profession and them as a group over this one issue?

I agree.

I wish the OP good luck. But then, we make a lot of our own, and you sound prepared to do that. I hope it all works out.

[SmilingBluEyes]

http://www.bullyonline.org

[SmilingBluEyes]

Great post Steph!!!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Every single nurse in this fourm has been eaten, and has eaten. Most are shamed to admit it. Abuse is a cycle, and we all know it.

Stand up for yourself, and teach nurses to become strong together. If some nurses refuse to follow, or lead others to a better profession, well, tell them lead, follow or get out of the way. It's really that simple-

I have had a couple of "moments". I was having a horrible day and was being called by PACU every 15 minutes about a bed and finally I blew up and asked her very firmly to not call again, nothing has changed in the last 15 minutes and I would call when the room was ready and I hung up on her in the middle of her sentence.

I can only imagine her coming to this board if she was a new grad "I was SCREAMED at.........why do nurses eat their young?" The reality was after I took a deep breath and waited a few minutes I called back and apologized for hanging up on her, but that repeated phones were unecessary.

I could have come to the board, and cried "the PACU nurse harrassed me endlessly. Why do nurses eat their young?"

So yes, we all have our moments in time when we are less than 100% peaceful, loving and kind. But it still doesn't mean we as a profession eat our young. I take each moment for what it is.

I do like your last paragraph. Excellent advice.

[SueBee RN-BSN]

No, my dear, much of what gets labeled "eating'" is not abuse but miscommunication, constructive criticism taken wrong, or oversensitive feelings.

While there is definitely some abuse in healthcare, it is not the pervasive ill that you perceive it to be. And it is just as prevalent in most other professions. But quite a bit of "eating" really isn't.

Please do ascribe what YOU feel to all of the rest of us. Not "every single" ever really is.

It's abuse plain and simple. I do find it interesting how many nurses don't know what abuse is, or if they are being abused. I must wonder if their childhood holds the answers to this?? This would be an interesting study!!!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

It's abuse plain and simple. I do find it interesting how many nurses don't know what abuse is, or if they are being abused. I must wonder if their childhood holds the answers to this?? This would be an interesting study!!!

It's plain and simple to you. I think we have to allow for some leeway here in personal opinions what is abuse and what isn't.

Someone might label me hanging up on a PACU nurse as abuse, others don't.

Personally I don't label what the original poster stated as "abuse".

[SmilingBluEyes]

I guess I have a thick skin. I don't see this as abuse so much as maybe a bit of witchiness (with a B). Like I said, thicker skin, strong self-assertion and a sense of humor will get a person far in this profession, as in any.

[caroladybelle, BSN, RN]

It's abuse plain and simple. I do find it interesting how many nurses don't know what abuse is, or if they are being abused. I must wonder if their childhood holds the answers to this?? This would be an interesting study!!!

I believe if you review my posts on this BB, you will find that I AM WELL aware of what abuse is and that I do not tolerate true abuse.

Unfortunately on many of the posts that sling aroung the terms : eating, bullying, abuse, harassment, unfair, etc....it becomes clear that in many cases, that this is not abuse but someone taking offense at appropriate criticism, grading issues, etc.

We also only hear one side of the store, we are rarely given the opposing side. Thus the info we get on the BB is quite biased.

Recently, a male poster wrote a post, in which he complained that he wanted to have tips to help keep him from being "raped" by paying taxes at tax time. When I responded that "rape" is not an appropriate term for being required to pay one's monetary due and it is offense to use that term for mere tax payment, I was slammed by the terms "politically correct" and being too uptight.

I responded as I will respond to you. When one uses such brutal terms as rape or abuse or bullying or harassment, etc. to describe things that are not truly in the same class as rape/abuse/bullying/harassment, it diminishes that case of those that ARE truly being treated unfairly and brutally. The words lose their meaning, and their cases get thrown in as just more noise....another person claiming brutality, where there may be little....

May you not know what true abuse is...I have family lost and family found from the Holocaust, and have been overseas to the third world. They could tell you about "unfair" and "abuse".

[PANurseRN1]

Thanks again, I appreciate both sides of the coin. I can totally tell who has been a nurse for a long time and who are newbies just by the responses. No need for any hostility, it's just an observation I have made from being where I have been for the last year, and the nurses who have been around for a long time are definitely more impatient, nasty and downright mean to me, but that's there problem.

Nobody "handed" me this job, I worked my ass off for it. I went back to school later on in life (I am in my 40's) to only do L&D nursing, even after everyone I ever met told me I would never be able to get a position as a new grad in L&D, I was determined, and I did it. I will be damned if someone tries to take that away from me. I LOVE what I do, I am sorry that I didn't have to do 1-2 years of med-surg, but I thank God for where I am today.

Again, thanks for the responses, and keep them coming!

Jennie

Funny how we went from great co-workers to this. And who said anyone was trying to take anything away from you. I think you need to cool off a bit. Who even said anything about med-surg?

If your situation is truly so horrid, leave. Why stay if you are being treated as badly as you claim to be?

PS: Everyone who goes to nursing school works his/her butt off, not just you.