Why do nurses eat their young?

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

I received my DREAM JOB last June in L&D as a new grad and was basically taught everything I know from my wonderful preceptor. I was hired for nights, because that was what was available at the time of hire, but let the nurse manager know right then and there that IF EVER a day time position opened up, and nobody else wanted it, I would be very interested.

I oriented on days for 8 months, and started the night shift about 8 weeks ago. Right before I was going to nights it was clear that days were being shorted, and they were going to open up a day spot. NOBODY FROM NIGHTS WANTED THIS POSITION, and I inquired about it with my "fellow coworkers". Well, what I got was the complete opposite of what I expected. These "fellow coworkers" who complimented me on a daily basis of what a great learner I was, a team player, and a wonderful DR nurse turned on me so fast that my head was spinning. When I privately asked my preceptor what everyone was so upset was, she pointed her finger in my face and sternly said "I SAT IN ON YOUR INTERVIEW 8 MONTHS AGO, AND YOU CLEARLY STATED THAT YOU WWOULD WORK NIGHTS!" She then went on to say that people would be very angry if I went to the day shift being a brand new grad and all. Again, let me remind you, NOBODY WANTED THE DAY POSITION. Then, a per diem day person decided to take it.

2 months later, in walks a nurse from another hospital who was hired to work days, never saw her before, no job was posted, nothing. Just came out of the blue. Again, I questioned it, and had my head bit off from many people who think I have no right to inquire or even desire a day shift so soon in my "career".

Anyway, just wanted to vent, can anyone explain why this occurs? All input is greatly appreciated.

TIA!

Jennie

Specializes in Day Surgery/Infusion/ED.
It's abuse plain and simple. I do find it interesting how many nurses don't know what abuse is, or if they are being abused. I must wonder if their childhood holds the answers to this?? This would be an interesting study!!!

Maybe it's you who cannot tell the difference?

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Specializes in postpartum, nursery, high risk L&D.

Experienced nurses ARE mean to new nurses sometimes; I don't see anything wrong with venting about that. I've seen new nurses where I work become targets of unfair criticism and have heard the more senior nurses make snap judgements about them. I imagine it's the same in any profession. It's a lot harder to let workplace crap like that slide when you are a new grad and unsure of yourself and don't really know anyone yet and they don't really know you...

And there ARE different dynamics when there is a group of mainly women working together versus a more even mix.

Anyway, OP, easier said than done but just keep doing what you are doing and it will probably just blow over.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
I can totally tell who has been a nurse for a long time and who are newbies just by the responses.

It remarks like this that will not help the problems you speak of, seriously.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
Every single nurse in this fourm has been eaten, and has eaten. Most are shamed to admit it. Abuse is a cycle, and we all know it.

Stand up for yourself, and teach nurses to become strong together. If some nurses refuse to follow, or lead others to a better profession, well, tell them lead, follow or get out of the way. It's really that simple-

Never been "eaten" here.

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Specializes in Ortho, Med surg and L&D.
OK, I took the part of jealousy out of there, poor words on my behalf. My bad, don't shoot me.

...

At any rate, any other newbies out there who feel the same way, please let me know what your experiences have been. Thanks again!

Jennie

Hello,

Total newbie here and am totally not sharing your experience and disagree with the term.

Have I seen grumpy folks who happen to be nurses? Yes. Have I seen grumpy folks who happen to be nurses who happen to have control issues, (and also non-nurses like this?)? Yes. Have I seen those same grumpy, controlling, coincidentally also nurses treat every single person the same? Yeah, not just new nurses but old nurses and doctors and janitors and patients too. So, I figure they are equal opportunity grumps.

Nothing personal or hostile about this.

Gen

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Specializes in Public Health, DEI.

Never mind.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
Experienced nurses ARE mean to new nurses sometimes; I don't see anything wrong with venting about that. I've seen new nurses where I work become targets of unfair criticism and have heard the more senior nurses make snap judgements about them. I imagine it's the same in any profession. It's a lot harder to let workplace crap like that slide when you are a new grad and unsure of yourself and don't really know anyone yet and they don't really know you...

And there ARE different dynamics when there is a group of mainly women working together versus a more even mix.

Anyway, OP, easier said than done but just keep doing what you are doing and it will probably just blow over.

I know what you're saying. I have to remind a coworker here and there when they complain about someone's organization and priorities, not finishing their work, their questions, or whatever, that they are new and deserve a break.

I have no objection to a new grad nurse venting and asking about how to deal with some co-workers who are given her/him a problem. We need to be supportive of that.

But to lump all experienced nurses as nurses who eat their young in their vent is what some of us have issue with. Many of the posts here asking "why do nurses eat their young" are really about one or two nurses they are having a problem with. For example, prior to the scheduling thing the original poster would not have said nurses eat their young. Yet, one issue pops up and suddenly all experienced nurses eat their young.

And quite frankly if every single nurse in an environment is mistreating the new grad, then my advice is to quit and find a more supportive job - they are out there, I work in one, even though occasionally we misstep, snap at one another, judge each other, looking at the big picture, it's a positive environment.

What self-actualized person would put up with a profession that eats it's young? Not me.

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Specializes in postpartum, nursery, high risk L&D.
I know what you're saying. I have to remind a coworker here and there when they complain about someone's organization and priorities, not finishing their work, their questions, or whatever, that they are new and deserve a break.

I have no objection to a new grad nurse venting and asking about how to deal with some co-workers who are given her/him a problem. We need to be supportive of that.

But to lump all experienced nurses as nurses who eat their young in their vent is what some of us have issue with. Many of the posts here asking "why do nurses eat their young" are really about one or two nurses they are having a problem with. For example, prior to the scheduling thing the original poster would not have said nurses eat their young. Yet, one issue pops up and suddenly all experienced nurses eat their young.

And quite frankly if every single nurse in an environment is mistreating the new grad, then my advice is to quit and find a more supportive job - they are out there, I work in one, even though occasionally we misstep, snap at one another, judge each other, looking at the big picture, it's a positive environment.

What self-actualized person would put up with a profession that eats it's young? Not me.

I guess I didn't get that from any of her posts, that she was making broad generalizations about the entire profession. It's not like she titled the thread "Why are all experienced nurses a bunch of big jerks?" It just sounds like a vent thread to me.

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I feel very fortunate that 34 years ago, I was nurtured by the finest when I began my first job. One of them was a male CNA who taught me so much about patient care. I have very fond memories of my first few months. I have to admit, I think the atmosphere today is different. Many of the new grads "call the shots", so to speak in regard to covering weekends, working certain shifts etc. The hard feelings result from management giving in to them as we are so desperate for help and us "old" nurses with our 30 some year old work ethic find ourselves doing the weekends and holidays that we have always done and we are TIRED. Also, have come across new grads who basically think they know more than we do and are not receptive to teaching, interrupting us in mid-sentence or acting like "oh, I knew that". Kind of slams the door to any nurturing environment. I love to teach when someone asks an honest question and am the first to admit I don't know everything even after all these years. Ten years after becoming an RN, I went for my BSN which was a lengthy and costly program at the time. I try to keep up with seminars etc. and it is offensive when a new grad thinks they are more knowledgeable having just graduated with the "latest" buzz words.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
I guess I didn't get that from any of her posts, that she was making broad generalizations about the entire profession. It's not like she titled the thread "Why are all experienced nurses a bunch of big jerks?" It just sounds like a vent thread to me.

In the end you're right, the op was venting and needs support with that. But the answer to why do nurses eat their young is "we don't" and maybe should never have been asked while venting. But we did go off on a tangent with that and some other things.

I see this often "I've been doing fine, everyone says what a good worker I am, I work hard, patients love me, etc etc......." then one thing goes wrong and it's "why do nurses eat their young"........when it should be "I'm venting about this situation/person is there anything I can do?".

O.K. I'm out of this now. Sorry for the ranting, but I do hate that question. :lol2:

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In the end you're right, the op was venting and needs support with that. But the answer to why do nurses eat their young is "we don't" and maybe should never have been asked while venting. But we did go off on a tangent with that and some other things.

I see this often "I've been doing fine, everyone says what a good worker I am, I work hard, patients love me, etc etc......." then one thing goes wrong and it's "why do nurses eat their young"........when it should be "I'm venting about this situation/person is there anything I can do?".

O.K. I'm out of this now. Sorry for the ranting, but I do hate that question. :lol2:

Tweety is right . . . .that question "Why do NURSES eat their young" bothers many of us and that is what we have a problem with. Not her venting.

We all vent. But don't lump all NURSES into one category.

That's all.

The title of this thread is "why do nurses eat their young?".

We don't. Some people, as I mentioned, are jerks. In all walks of life.

steph

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OK, sorry I started the thread as such. I was just venting, but it was great to see both sides of the coin. Of course not ALL nurses are this way, it's a general phrase. I have heard it by new grads as well as seasoned nurses, it's a cliche, go with it.

As for being me being sensitive, yes, I am more than others, but that's what also makes me compassionate and patient because I get affected by so much more. I absolutely LOVE what I do with a passion, but unfortunately MOST (NOT ALL) of the nurses I work with on the night shift are burnt to a crisp and take advantage of this newbie. YES, I allow it to happen, but I also enjoy having patients to keep me awake in the middle of the night. My hospital is not unionized, so things go under the radar, and the rumor mill never passes my way so often times I find out things after they are already done.

By the way, the new nurse they hired for a full time day position without posting is already gone, she couldn't believe she was going to have to work weekends. The seasoned nurses got a kick out of that one. Of course, I would work EVERY weekend for that spot, but once again, because of political reasons I CAN NOT understand, I am forced (unless I leave) to stay on nights.

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