Why do some nurses come across to be rude?

[mathboy]

Hello Guys,

Now here's a small concern that I have whenever I go to the hospital. I have found nurses to be rude to me.

I dont give it back because they're the one's who will be taking care of me and I want them to care for me.

I have a lot of respect for nurses, they are angels for the kind of compassionate work they do, but some experiences here and there create a long lasting memory. Only friendly people in hospital to me were the nuns and priests, during communion time.

Sometimes, I have even tried to avoid going to hospitals.

Is this because they want patients to be submissive and obedient ? I have never come across a friendly nurse till date.

Rude patients do exist, is this why they put the foot down first?

Btw, I am a colored(brown) person, so I wonder if this is a reason.

Once when I was admitted, there was a senior nurse who at first was rude. But then I told her that she was like my mother and I felt hurt that she was rude. I told her nicely and she was nice to me after that.

But, as a patient we go to hospitals emotionally and physically down, the last thing we would want is to get intimidated by the nurse.

What's the best way to tell a nurse that it hurts when they're rude without getting them angry.

Any advice friends.

God bless you'll for the work you'll do.

[mathboy]

I wonder if perhaps you are unaware of the nursing role. The nurse is not there to provide sympathy; the nurse is there to provide expert patient care. Again, I would definitely love to know some examples.

I agree on your point there. Don't provide sympathy, but don't be rude. When you're sympathetic about a patient you wont be rude, so in other words you're not sympathetic. That's what I meant. There are numerous examples, and hence whenever I look at a hospital, I just turn my head around. I pray to be healthy and not a hospital visitor any time.

Healthcare rudeness has become a stereotype actually, a lot of people tell me, nothing new in the rudeness thing, it was always there and will continue to be.

[mathboy]

My Nana was a nurse and was loved by all her residents.

[Libby1987]

There is a weird sexist/sexual vibe going on here. Am I the only one picking that up?

[mathboy]

There is a weird sexist/sexual vibe going on here. Am I the only one picking that up?

Well that's crap. I just wanted an opinion about my experiences, that was it. The Healthcare industry is rude.

[VivaLaVespaGirl, BSN, MSN]

Well that's crap. I just wanted an opinion about my experiences, that was it. The Healthcare industry is rude.

Unfortunately, it is difficult to have a discussion about this topic if you refuse to provide any example other than nurses sometimes not responding to "how are you doing?". If you would really like to get an opinion, please provide actual examples. Otherwise, there simply is nothing more to talk about.

[bugya90, ASN, BSN, LVN, RN]

Well that's crap. I just wanted an opinion about my experiences, that was it. The Healthcare industry is rude.

If you are not willing to listen to the responses given to you or accept the fact that people may not agree with your opinion then don't post on a public forum. Especially don't post on a forum geared towards nurses that we are all rude. If you thought your care was so poor you should've spoke with management. End of story. Don't come to a nursing forum and state that all nurses are rude and expect sympathy.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

I think some may think "cultural" when you refer to yourself as a "colored person" I shudder to think what would happen if others used those words.

Are you a nurse, in nursing school or in the healthcare field at all?...

Well I don't think there is a cultural/communication style difference. Some don't like being spoken to, they wouldn't even reply to a 'How are you doing' comment.

[mathboy]

If you are not willing to listen to the responses given to you or accept the fact that people may not agree with your opinion then don't post on a public forum. Especially don't post on a forum geared towards nurses that we are all rude. If you thought your care was so poor you should've spoke with management. End of story. Don't come to a nursing forum and state that all nurses are rude and expect sympathy.

Look at the thread, it says 'some'. Can you imagine being in pain with a sprained ankle and having to wait for 3-4 hours before being treated? The Male nurse told me that its common. He told me wait or leave, when I told him its taking too long.

[bugya90, ASN, BSN, LVN, RN]

Well I don't think there is a cultural/communication style difference. Some don't like being spoken to, they wouldn't even reply to a 'How are you doing' comment.

You may not want to know how they are doing. They may have just had an unsuccessful rapid response, they may not have eaten or peed in hours due to short staffing, they may have just witnessed a mom give birth to a still born, or just maybe they didn't hear you. Hospitals are noisy and nurses are juggling hundreds of tasks at the same time for multiple patients. Our brains are busy and sometimes things get tuned out.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

It is sometimes very difficult for nurses to separate their jobs from their private lives. After all, it is not about the nurse, it is about you, the patient. Some are more chatty than others. It is not being rude, it is being focused at the task at hand. And that is your function.

You do not need sympathy, you need to function. So if by being rude a nurse is making you get out of bed, take your pills, walk the halls--know that this is your doctor's orders, the nurse is invested in your function, and the intent is not to be rude, or lack compassion, but to do their jobs. Compassion doesn't get you home and doing your thing in the time we have to educate and assist you....or encourage you to assist yourself.

And it doesn't matter if you are green with scales. It is not a color thing. It is the fact that nurses are expected to do a heck of a lot more, with less help, less time, (and if your insurance company says you need to be out in 2 days--you are out in 2 days highest functional level or not) and there's more than likely more than 5 less than 10 others just like you who need attention and encouragement. So the focus needs to be you. Not how the nurse is doing. Not that you are seeking sympathy and/or dissecting the compassion level of the nurse.

And if compassion and sympathy is going to assist you in function, ask to see the social worker. See if there's a volunteer in patient relations. If you are a member of a church, have the ladies come to visit you. The nurse has a very specific set of tasks that have to be completed in a set time. Doesn't mean he/she doesn't feel for your situation, just that they need to get you up and get you out. Period.

[VivaLaVespaGirl, BSN, MSN]

Look at the thread, it says 'some'. Can you imagine being in pain with a sprained ankle and having to wait for 3-4 hours before being treated? The Male nurse told me that its common. He told me wait or leave, when I told him its taking too long.

Ahhh. Now I understand.

Mathboy, was this the ER?

How many people were ahead of you?

How much more emergent were their issues?

How many times had you complained about the wait being too long?

[BloomNurseRN, ASN, BSN, RN]

I think some may think "cultural" when you refer to yourself as a "colored person" I shudder to think what would happen if others used those words.

Are you a nurse, in nursing school or in the healthcare field at all?...

I'm getting the same vibe as you here. This feels rather "trolling" to me. I have many patients hug me as they leave the hospital and families that thank me over and over for their care. I hear and see the same things with most of my coworkers as well. To generalize an entire group of people without examples is just inviting skepticism and doubt.