Why does this feel like a break-up?

[love&loss]

So long story short, I have been fed-up with my unit for a period of time and decided it was a great idea to just apply at certain places where I had interest in for part-time work (still an RN job), maybe expand my horizons a bit and eventually go full-time if I really liked it. One thing led to another and I had a spectacular interview with two wonderful people (NM and Nurse Educator). As the NM and I were walking out of the unit, I casually asked when they would know their decision by, NM said usually by the end of the week. (You know, so I can actually figure out what I am doing - whether I really want the job if offered or just stay put.) TWO hours after I get home from the interview, I have HR calling me offering me a full-time position. ....Um, What?

To explain myself more fully, this particular unit is the speciality I wanted right from the get-go, fresh newbie out of nursing school. But I graduated and passed boards and interviewed at ONE of these units and I didn't get the job offer... I was devastated (not really, I actually didn't think I had a lick of chance - considering I didn't precept there and someone from my graduating class did (btw, she was hired)) but always knew I could work my way up the ladder and eventually get there. So I moved on. I got a job, luckily enough in my SECOND favorite specialty. So whoo-hoo, here I am, I got almost everything I wanted. Fast forward to NOW, only a small amount of time later, and I actually GET this offer from my #1.

So when HR called, I accepted the offer for a full-time position. It all happened so fast. I never planned on any of this. I got off the phone and was ecstatic!!! I had always wanted this job and plan to stay in the speciality forever and now it was MINE! The day continues as normal and I can't help but keep having these feelings of guilt or terror or something. Yes, I am nervous about the new endeavor, but more than that, how could I do this to my co-workers?! (FWIW, I'm not leaving anyone in a bind, we are greatly over-staffed and actually I would be doing everyone a favor by leaving.)

But to the point! I'm already having almost like second-thoughts. Like should I REALLY leave? Is it THAT bad? And then I have bouts of excitement again where I am getting what I have always wanted. Then it's back to "you never know how easy you have it until it's gone" thinking. My co-workers are another thing, not really the deciding factor, I will just miss a select few, but I also remind myself, "Would they feel the same about me if they were leaving?" and I almost always come up with a resounding NO. Not that I don't think they like me, but they are stronger women and do what is best for THEM. I on the other hand usually wear my heart on my sleeve and worry about everyone, usually myself being the last to worry about...

Another factor is that I DO like where I am NOW. I like what I do. Some parts I really, REALLY hate, but mostly, I enjoy my job. And to be honest, it isn't a back-breaking speciality. Neither is this new one, but at the position I currently hold, there are times where you sit there and do nothing for the whole shift. This new one, there will be none of that going on. I will always be doing something. It sounds as if I'm lazy, which to an extent, maybe I am a little, but I never not do something if it needs to be done, I just like that sometimes NOTHING needs to be done. I get paid the same as if s*** were hitting the fan. That's nice...

So I have come to these weird feelings about change. I maybe thought I have become complacent in such a small amount of time or I am just truly scared this new job won't be everything it's cracked up to be. I don't know. And so in that sense, it makes me feel like I THINK I'm leaving for better, that I'm breaking-up with my job, to find a better suitor, but there is just so much unknown and I.AM.TERRIFIED.

I looked this up online, as well as on all nurses, and I see similar stories, I just didn't think me getting into my dream speciality would make me feel this way.

BTW, both the position I hold now and the new one I was offered are HIGHLY SOUGHT after specialities. Like, it is sometimes impossible for people to get into with no experience because they have so many people to choose from. I think that makes me a little iffy on changing too because both are so competitive. I don't know, I'm rambling...

So if anyone has any insight, I'd love to hear it. My decision is made, I am still accepting the offer, that was never a doubt, I guess I just want to hear people say that it's normal to feel this. Usually people get their dream job and never look back, but 90% don't already LOVE what they do in their current job. And some may think to not mess with something that's good, and there is where my anxiety is queued...

Thanks for any feedback!

[SmilingBluEyes]

"long story short"???

Eh do what you want. Move on, if that's in your heart. Life is too short to settle.

And a job is not a relationship; it's not a break-up but a career move.

[quiltynurse56, LPN, LVN]

You were looking for another job for a reason. Sounds like an exciting prospect for you. We all of these feelings when leaving a job for a new one. When I left my CNA job for my LPN job, I felt bad about leaving the residents in the LTC facility I was in even though I hated the job. I love my current job in addition to the residents.

You have to do what is best for you, but as I said, you were looking for a reason. That should tell you something.

Now go start that new job and learn it. Just don't forget that each new position has a learning curve.

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

Just dive in and if it makes you feel any better see if you can stay on per diem at you current job. It is normal to have ambivalent feeling,just do not let that stop you from trying the new specialty. Good luck to you!

[nutella, MSN, RN]

Yes, very normal. I have left jobs and felt some grief over leaving because I liked the staff, or the specialty or the good cafeteria (have to have priorities, right???).

It is normal and a good thing not to have a black / white view but to be able to see the nuances and to acknowledge the good as well as the bad.

[Libby1987]

Opposing views here..

People too too often don't listen to their anxiety when making a decision.

You're leaving an over staffed unit (over staffed because of?) to an understaffed unit who will hire a newer nurse in 2 hrs (they did that because of?).

[llg, PhD, RN]

Opposing views here..

People too too often don't listen to their anxiety when making a decision.

You're leaving an over staffed unit (over staffed because of?) to an understaffed unit who will hire a newer nurse in 2 hrs (they did that because of?).

While I agree with you reasoning about the situation, Libby ... I would probably make a different decision than you seem to imply.

I would take the new position BECAUSE her current one is overstaffed. Over-staffed doesn't bode well for the future in terms of job security and/or opportunities for advancement. She is young and needs to push herself a bit to develop skills and opportunities for the future. It doesn't sound like she's going to get much of that in her current job.

Now is a good time in her "try out" her first choice of specialty -- even if the job is going to be in a tougher work environment. Is she stays too long in that cushy first job, she may never good another chance as good as this one to explore that specialty. She may spend her whole career wondering, "What if ..." -- and that would be sad. It's better that she take a chance now at this point in her career.

[love&loss]

"long story short"???

Eh do what you want. Move on, if that's in your heart. Life is too short to settle.

And a job is not a relationship; it's not a break-up but a career move.

SORRY! I know, not short, but at least I didn't tell my life story...

Your last sentence is what I have been realizing more as time goes on. I think I was in some sort of a state of shock and wasn't planning on this career move so it felt like a loss instead of a huge gain.

[Farawyn]

I've grieved over leaving a job, like nutella. Because of the people, and yes, the food. (the Greek place by my clinic was delicious!)

I left the JOB for a reason. Keep that reason in mind.