love&loss

I always thought that nurses should have the same capabilities of doctors and be able to dictate their assessments to be transcribed in the medical chart... Wouldn't it be nice?

I shoot for 10 minutes or less on solely cares then an extra 5 minutes to prepare my tube feeding/meds. If I am PO feeding, I try to start cares a few minutes early since we allow 30 minutes.

We throw all of ours out once a week. It also goes without saying that if it's dropped or visibly soiled, we replace it. But I think it's every Sunday night, everyone gets a new soother!

SORRY! I know, not short, but at least I didn't tell my life story... Your last sentence is what I have been realizing more as time goes on. I think I was in some sort of a state of shock and wasn't planning on this career move so it felt like a loss instead of a huge gain.

So long story short, I have been fed-up with my unit for a period of time and decided it was a great idea to just apply at certain places where I had interest in for part-time work (still an RN job), maybe expand my horizons a bit and eventually go full-time if I really liked it. One thing led to another and I had a spectacular interview with two wonderful people (NM and Nurse Educator). As the NM and I were walking out of the unit, I casually asked when they would know their decision by, NM said usually by the end of the week. (You know, so I can actually figure out what I am doing - whether I really want the job if offered or just stay put.) TWO hours after I get home from the interview, I have HR calling me offering me a full-time position. ....Um, What? To explain myself more fully, this particular unit is the speciality I wanted right from the get-go, fresh newbie out of nursing school. But I graduated and passed boards and interviewed at ONE of these units and I didn't get the job offer... I was devastated (not really, I actually didn't think I had a lick of chance - considering I didn't precept there and someone from my graduating class did (btw, she was hired)) but always knew I could work my way up the ladder and eventually get there. So I moved on. I got a job, luckily enough in my SECOND favorite specialty. So whoo-hoo, here I am, I got almost everything I wanted. Fast forward to NOW, only a small amount of time later, and I actually GET this offer from my #1. So when HR called, I accepted the offer for a full-time position. It all happened so fast. I never planned on any of this. I got off the phone and was ecstatic!!! I had always wanted this job and plan to stay in the speciality forever and now it was MINE! The day continues as normal and I can't help but keep having these feelings of guilt or terror or something. Yes, I am nervous about the new endeavor, but more than that, how could I do this to my co-workers?! (FWIW, I'm not leaving anyone in a bind, we are greatly over-staffed and actually I would be doing everyone a favor by leaving.) But to the point! I'm already having almost like second-thoughts. Like should I REALLY leave? Is it THAT bad? And then I have bouts of excitement again where I am getting what I have always wanted. Then it's back to "you never know how easy you have it until it's gone" thinking. My co-workers are another thing, not really the deciding factor, I will just miss a select few, but I also remind myself, "Would they feel the same about me if they were leaving?" and I almost always come up with a resounding NO. Not that I don't think they like me, but they are stronger women and do what is best for THEM. I on the other hand usually wear my heart on my sleeve and worry about everyone, usually myself being the last to worry about... Another factor is that I DO like where I am NOW. I like what I do. Some parts I really, REALLY hate, but mostly, I enjoy my job. And to be honest, it isn't a back-breaking speciality. Neither is this new one, but at the position I currently hold, there are times where you sit there and do nothing for the whole shift. This new one, there will be none of that going on. I will always be doing something. It sounds as if I'm lazy, which to an extent, maybe I am a little, but I never not do something if it needs to be done, I just like that sometimes NOTHING needs to be done. I get paid the same as if s*** were hitting the fan. That's nice... So I have come to these weird feelings about change. I maybe thought I have become complacent in such a small amount of time or I am just truly scared this new job won't be everything it's cracked up to be. I don't know. And so in that sense, it makes me feel like I THINK I'm leaving for better, that I'm breaking-up with my job, to find a better suitor, but there is just so much unknown and I.AM.TERRIFIED. I looked this up online, as well as on all nurses, and I see similar stories, I just didn't think me getting into my dream speciality would make me feel this way. BTW, both the position I hold now and the new one I was offered are HIGHLY SOUGHT after specialities. Like, it is sometimes impossible for people to get into with no experience because they have so many people to choose from. I think that makes me a little iffy on changing too because both are so competitive. I don't know, I'm rambling... So if anyone has any insight, I'd love to hear it. My decision is made, I am still accepting the offer, that was never a doubt, I guess I just want to hear people say that it's normal to feel this. Usually people get their dream job and never look back, but 90% don't already LOVE what they do in their current job. And some may think to not mess with something that's good, and there is where my anxiety is queued... Thanks for any feedback!

But in my case, what would they even write?! Someone is worried about another person? Okay? And what would it solve to tell me this? Especially when said manager does nothing to correct or even attempt to solve the problem, if there is actually a problem in the first place. I find it hard to believe that every conversation is written up in a file.

Well I was never written up or even given a warning. I was literally just to tell me someone was worried. I was kinda confused as to where to go from there since it didn't sound that bad but then you find yourself questioning what they are talking about and if it's something you're missing... But things have changed since then, BIG changes so I was going to hold out longer unless something else happens and then maybe throw in the towel...

I kinda wonder what you all would do in a slightly different situation. I, myself have been in a predicament where I too was called into the managers office to review my performance. No specifics were mentioned except that "someone was worried about your performance". I even asked for an example and got a blank stare... I never had a PIP or anything like that, no goals were gone over to reach. Nothing was specifically said that I needed to improve. Since then, I have heard nothing from managements side and everything seems to be going well. However, I get that vibe sometimes I am being watched/whispered about. The only other thing is everyone talks about everyone, and I mean EVERYONE. So maybe I am being whispered about but is that just the name of the game? Maybe it is my self-confidence but where do you go from here? Does it sound good, bad, ugly?