Why on earth does no one make eye contact?

[z's playa]

I've noticed something a little amusing at my campus. My school is mixture of med students, physio, nursing and the newest degree... health sciences. All this attatched to the hospital where we all do our clinicals. We do a lot of walking from hospital to school and in the halls as well.

I noticed, literally in passing them in the halls that hospital staff, MED students and doctors BIGTIME and many nursing students, don't look at anyone (me) in the eye or if they do, they look away quickly. :uhoh21: I'm not scary looking that's for sure, and I'm certainly not going to start chatting them up. I'm in as much a hurry as the next guy. Has anyone an explanation to this? Do they actually chant to themselves "Don't make eye contact..don't make eye contact" Kind of strange is all. :)

[leslie :-D]

omg, i'd be LOST w/o eye contact- that is my connection to the other. i'm not talking about staring but good old fashioned acknowledgement of one person to another.

i have learned a thing or two when it comes to different cultures.

when i've had to 'talk' to a couple of cna's (verbal reprimand) neither one would look at me.

i politely asked them to look at me when i was talking to them. they looked at me on and off.

later, unbeknownst to me, i learned that it was indeed a cultural thing as it was considered staring.

but if i couldn't look at someone, i'd never know their character, their persona as everything i see in a person, is through their eyes.

and obviously my eyes do alot of talking (as do my hands) because i've received dozens of comments on how my eyes do all the talking.

i also remember in high school and college, passing ea other in the hallway- never had a problem with eye contact, never. we would just nod our heads and go our merry way.

jnette, i want to live where you do.

leslie

[SmilingBluEyes]

Believe it or not, I live just minutes away from the true Mayberry, USA!

Mt. Airy, NC, about twenty minutes down the mountain, and the homeplace of Andy Griffith.. the town that the show was based on. And yes, folks there (and here) still ARE that way ! :)

And yes. ppl here really DO know their neighbors, because they make it a point to do so.

Yep.. I like it here.

that is great.....and usual. almost mythical. too bad, I cannot handle the weather there...too hot and humid for me to ever want to live there.

I remember a friend,who has the Mayberry Cookbook, said she lived near Mt Airy and loved it....said the people were nice, but becoming increasingly suspicious due to bad treatment from passers-through. Sad.'

for the most part, the "mayberry culture" is long gone. Sad.

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

omg, i'd be LOST w/o eye contact- that is my connection to the other. i'm not talking about staring but good old fashioned acknowledgement of one person to another.

i have learned a thing or two when it comes to different cultures.

when i've had to 'talk' to a couple of cna's (verbal reprimand) neither one would look at me.

i politely asked them to look at me when i was talking to them. they looked at me on and off.

later, unbeknownst to me, i learned that it was indeed a cultural thing as it was considered staring.

but if i couldn't look at someone, i'd never know their character, their persona as everything i see in a person, is through their eyes.

and obviously my eyes do alot of talking (as do my hands) because i've received dozens of comments on how my eyes do all the talking.

i also remember in high school and college, passing ea other in the hallway- never had a problem with eye contact, never. we would just nod our heads and go our merry way.

jnette, i want to live where you do.

leslie

Leslie, I'm the same way.. my eyes and hands to ALL the talking. And I like for the person I'm talking with to meet my eyes during the conversation.

I, too, "hear" more in the eyes than from the lips. And when a person smiles, I always check to see if their eyes are smiling, too.

I remember that was one of the things that most impressed me about my DON .. and still does. She ALWAYS makes eyecontact the entire time we speak.. be it serious material or lighthearted banter. It makes me feel like I am being HEARD and that what I have to say is valued.

About this "region".. while folks here truely are still friendly, it also has it's drawbacks. Just 'cuz folks are friendly doesn't make them "better". There is still a good bit of racial and cultural prejudice and hypocricy here as well, you would not BELIEVE some of the stuff that comes out of some of my patients' mouths in their conversations amongst themselves.. have to really bite my tongue HARD.

So you just take each person as they are.. gotta take the good with the bad and go from there, I guess.

[redwinggirlie]

It happens.

[leslie :-D]

[quote name=jnette.

I remember that was one of the things that most impressed me about my DON .. and still does. She ALWAYS makes eyecontact the entire time we speak.. be it serious material or lighthearted banter. It makes me feel like I am being HEARD and that what I have to say is valued.

[/quote]

unlike your DON, we briefly had one and she just did not like me, plain & simple. one time we were in a meeting; me, the adon, don and a couple of other nurses. i was talking to my DON and she wouldn't look at me. i softly tapped her on the shoulder and said "excuse me, i'm over here" and you could tell it killed her to look at me. she lasted at that facility for 2 months. but you can always tell the people that are looking at you vs. seeing you. same as hearing you vs. listening. grrrrrrrr, drives me nuts. yet each time i've fallen in love, it was always through their eyes- the windows to their soul.

and as it might be considered impolite in other cultures to maintain eye contact, i get highly offended if someone doesn't look at me while i'm talking to them. sometimes i blow it off, other times, not. depends on the circumstances.

[Luv2BAnurse]

I often look people in the eyes as I walk up the corridor, and it makes me feel a bit awkward when certain ones don't even acknowledge my existence . Oh well, I'm sure their necks would snap if they had to jerk their heads up so many times to look at everyone they passed. I feel that's their choice, and I have mine. :)