Why on earth does no one make eye contact?

[z's playa]

I've noticed something a little amusing at my campus. My school is mixture of med students, physio, nursing and the newest degree... health sciences. All this attatched to the hospital where we all do our clinicals. We do a lot of walking from hospital to school and in the halls as well.

I noticed, literally in passing them in the halls that hospital staff, MED students and doctors BIGTIME and many nursing students, don't look at anyone (me) in the eye or if they do, they look away quickly. :uhoh21: I'm not scary looking that's for sure, and I'm certainly not going to start chatting them up. I'm in as much a hurry as the next guy. Has anyone an explanation to this? Do they actually chant to themselves "Don't make eye contact..don't make eye contact" Kind of strange is all. :)

[SmilingBluEyes]

Live in TX now, but lived up north and went to nsg school in MD

It might be a generalization, but I didn't make it first; earlier in this thread, it was commented several times that the further south you go, the friendlier the natives.

I'll concede that it's a generalization: but it DOES have some validity to it. TV has conglomerized us, but there are still some regional differences.

~faith,

Timothy.

Really? wow I ran into some downright hostile and rude people just north of the Mexican border. That is purty "south" for me......

I also ran into some WONDERFUL ones.......I miss Oklahoma sometimes. But I found people there could be VERY rude , as well. I have lived a lot of places and will not concede that the further south you are, the nicer people are. There are nice people everywhere. I think sometimes, people respond in kind to the energy we put out there, dont' you?

[SmilingBluEyes]

When I lived in Spain everyone always said Hi how are you every time they saw you.

Can you imagine working in a hospital in Spain where you run across the same people all day long? Yep...could get a little repetative :chuckle . But friendly .

Z

rofl.... :rotfl:

[ZASHAGALKA, RN]

I did concede that it was a generalization. I've met nice people everywhere also, but the comment and thread isn't about how nice you are: it's about extended civilities to strangers.

I think some of that is regional biases and I didn't even say it was a bad thing.

Southern culture has, as a matter of history, been more 'howdy y'all' than the North. This I believe, is a result of the differences between an Industrial culture and a Agricultural culture.

That was along the lines of the comments I was making before: As we become more and more 'busy', those civilities seem to be more and more optional.

I'll even concede that the further removed we become from those regional distinctions, the less the generalization becomes true.

~faith,

Timothy

[LydiaNN]

Live in TX now, but lived up north and went to nsg school in MD

It might be a generalization, but I didn't make it first; earlier in this thread, it was commented several times that the further south you go, the friendlier the natives.

I'll concede that it's a generalization: but it DOES have some validity to it. TV has conglomerized us, but there are still some regional differences.

~faith,

Timothy.

I really think that your statement zeroed in much more specifically on a stereotype of a particular group of people, and hailing from that part of the country, I can state emphatically that it just isnt true. And for the record, although I greatly enjoyed a visit to Texas several years ago, I can honestly say that I thought our experience at a hotel in Houston was, bar none, the most unpleasant stay we've ever had, and it was a direct result of the people who worked there.

[SmilingBluEyes]

I also think migration from North to South by many retirees and northerners wanting to get away from bitter winters may have contributed to the disappearance of "Mayberry, USA".

On a sidenote: I have found our neighbors to the North (In Canada) very friendly and helpful. I have visited Canada from BC to Ont and found them very nice as a rule.

[z's playa]

I have visited Canada from BC to Ont and found them very nice as a rule.

Thanks Blueyes

Z

[ZASHAGALKA, RN]

OK, everybody is beating up on me here cause I think 'the south has a lock on manners'. I DID NOT SAY THAT.

We weren't talking about manners.

We were talking about the cultural expectation to extend civilities to strangers and why it seems going by the wayside.

I stated that AS A GENERALIZATION, the south had more of a ingrain bias towards extending those civilities in the past, although I stated that has become alot less so as time goes forward.

And that was what the thread was about: why is it that we don't do these things anymore.

I didn't mean to sidetrack on a north/south thing, as actually, that was only a side comment that I made: it is the culture as a whole that is not making eye contact anymore.

For the record, how nice you are and how well-mannered you are has nothing to do with whether or not you've been taught as a child to 'acknowledge' strangers -- and whether those kinds of teaching apply to you today and whether or not you teach them to your children.

50 yrs ago, we taught - every adult was your 'elder'. Today, we teach - don't talk to strangers.

sheeessshhhh. You Yankees!!!!!! (JUST KIDDING!)

~faith

Timothy.

[SmilingBluEyes]

you are welcome; it's the truth as I see it.

[SmilingBluEyes]

OK, everybody is beating up on me here cause I think 'the south has a lock on manners'. I DID NOT SAY THAT.

We weren't talking about manners.

We were talking about the cultural expectation to extend civilities to strangers and why it seems going by the wayside.

I stated that AS A GENERALIZATION, the south had more of a ingrain bias towards extending those civilities in the past, although I stated that has become alot less so as time goes forward.

And that was what the thread was about: why is it that we don't do these things anymore.

I didn't mean to sidetrack on a north/south thing, as actually, that was only a side comment that I made: it is the culture as a whole that is not making eye contact anymore.

For the record, how nice you are and how well-mannered you are has nothing to do with whether or not you've been taught as a child to 'acknowledge' strangers -- and whether those kinds of teaching apply to you today and whether or not you teach them to your children.

50 yrs ago, we taught - every adult was your 'elder'. Today, we teach - don't talk to strangers.

sheeessshhhh. You Yankees!!!!!! (JUST KIDDING!)

~faith

Timothy.

No one means to attack you. I have gotten myself in trouble when I said some things that seem to generalize, myself. I learn slowly rofl.....

:rotfl:

And, I agree, the reason we don't act as friendly is due to the

"stranger danger" concept many of us were taught as children. It's also the computerization/digitalization of society in general. People spend a lot of time online, watching TV and doing other such activities, less being outside among their fellow citizens. How many of us can say we KNOW our neighbors at all? Few can. It is societal, for sure. Also seems everyone is working harder/more hours to "stay afloat" and has less energy to expend getting to know others.

I also still say, the energy we put out, comes back to us. In spades, sometimes.

[Soleilpie]

i have also heard more than once that in japanese culture it is considered rude to look someone in the eye. i think it is rude myself, if i look at someone to talk i look at their chin or mouth or forehead even.

at the university i attend people generally look at the ground when they walk and rarely acknowledge people they pass in the hall. i don't think they are rude necessarily, if they are like me they have a real hard schedule to keep up with and a lot on their minds and are preoccupied.

looking a japanese in the eye isn't considered rude, but prolonged eye contact can be. the japanese also tend to bow when greeting one another to show respect and consequently little eye contact usually takes place. i think with most cultures it's considered rude to stare. i don't normally see people make 100% eye contact the whole time they're talking with one another. in general, people momentarily drop eye contact throughout a conversation. it just seems natural and keeps it from feeling like some kind of staring contest.

i think the lack of eye contact in the hallways has little to do with rudness and more to do with comfort level. some people are just uncomfortable making eye contact with everyone. maybe it's cultural, or upbringing or maybe it's even a lack of self esteem. i just think it's less likely to be out of rudness. it's like the person who is very shy and everyone thinks he/she is stuck up.

[SmilingBluEyes]

It is true in some cultures, eye contact is a sign of disrespect. it's often considered deferential or respectful to look at the floor, rather than a person in the eye. And yes, prolonged eye contact makes me VERY uncomfortable. I think that is very true of most of us.

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

I also think migration from North to South by many retirees and northerners wanting to get away from bitter winters may have contributed to the disappearance of "Mayberry, USA".

Believe it or not, I live just minutes away from the true Mayberry, USA!

Mt. Airy, NC, about twenty minutes down the mountain, and the homeplace of Andy Griffith.. the town that the show was based on. And yes, folks there (and here) still ARE that way ! :)

And yes. ppl here really DO know their neighbors, because they make it a point to do so.

Yep.. I like it here.