Who has kids?

livinglighthouse, ADN, RN · May 27, 2007

I'm coming at this from the other side of parenting as my children are 15 and almost 13. I stayed home with them up until this year, even homeschooling them, so we were together a lot.

I would never dream of telling you what you should do for your family, but I will just say that you can never get the time back with your kids. It will go by fast, and you only get one chance. You have your whole life to follow your dreams, but only a few years with your children. So, yes it might be feasible to put your kids in daycare all day every day, but consider the costs to them and to you. You will miss a lot.

YOu mentioned wanting to provide for your kids' future, but you being there is providing what they need most right now.

So can it be done, absolutely, but for every choice we make there is a cost.....only you can decide what sacrifices you are willing to make, and what sacrifices your children will have to make as well.

I hope this doesn't come across as judgemental, as I do believe everyone has to choose their own way, but I wanted to say from the other side of the parenting hill........I will never regret spending the time with my children while they were growing up and waiting for my own dream until they were older. Again, it doesn't mean you have to do nothing.....even taking one or two classes a semester would be doable while not taking away from your family.

Good luck in making your decision, I know it must be hard, but I'm sure you'll find what works for you and your family.

Rachel

tthenryRN · May 27, 2007

Hi I went to school for my rn's when I was 39. I had two children 4 and 7. It was tough to manage school and home but this is how I did it. I went to school full time during the day. One child was in school the other in daycare. After school cleaned the house cooked supper and put the kids to bed @ 1930. Then it was study time. I would stay up sometimes till 0100 to get things done. To study I made up games that I could play with the kids and study at the same time. Example I made cards out of definitions and colour coated them so the kids and I could play match game. It made them happy that I was spending time with them and studying at the same time. It was tough but I prevailed as will you if this is what you really want. Hope this works and good luck Tina.

catzy5 · May 27, 2007

I'm currently working on my prenursing classes. I have 2 young children (1 & 3) and I've been taking 8 units per semester...it's been manageable and I'm able to maintain As but my husband thinks I should start going fulltime in the fall because at the rate I'm going now, it's going to take me YEARS to get my prereqs done.
If I go full-time, I'll probably be taking 16 units per semester. Though I have to pay big bucks for childcare, the daycare they are in is really reliable, flexible and good with my kids so I know they will be fine there. My husband said we'd send them to daycare fulltime 5 days a week so I can have time to study when I don't have class....
I'm just not sure how hard it will be to juggle school full-time, homework, studying and spending enough time with the kids...anyone else doing it? I know it must be hard...but is it manageable?
I've very dedicated to my studies and determined to become an RN so I'm willing to work hard for it...I just feel bad for my kids and leaving them in daycare for so long...my reasoning is that by going back to school full-time, the sooner I can become an RN and the sooner I become an RN, the sooner I can provide them with a better future....Am I making the right decision??
KC

I have 3 kids 8,8 and 10. It is very hard juggling it all and it has taken me years pecking away I started in 04 and just finished my pre reqs this summer and can't start rn program until 1/08 (hopefully). My kids were 5,5 and 7 when I started. I am glad I didn't give up my prescious time with them I have worked around their schedule and not had to rely on child care. Your kids are only young once when they start school they have a lot of demands on your time but you can atleast function around their schedule. Once you get into nursing school you typcially won't have a choice and will have to go full time (although there are a few exceptions) and then when you are done you will be at work. so personally I say take your time enjoy your children and don't knock yourself out trying to bite off mroe then you can chew.

allnurses Guide · May 27, 2007

I have 4 kids - 24, 22, almost 18 and almost 6.

I went back to school when my 18 y.o. was in first grade (she was our youngest at that time) - I did prereqs prior to that one or two classes at a time. I waited until my she was in school all day before I applied to the program and fortunately got in the first time.

(We had our 6 year old when I'd been an RN for two years).

I have to agree that kids grow up in a blink of an eye and providing for them means more than money, it means time. My oldest is 24 and in Ireland right now - amazing to me that he is grown up. How did that happen?

I'm considering a leave of absence from my part-time job because of conflicts with time and kids. My daughter's senior year is coming up and strangely enough she needs me more in some ways and my 6 year old will be starting kindergarten and it just seems that both of them need me at home. For different reasons . . .

Looking back, I'm glad I didn't put my kids in daycare.

And I echo livinglighthouse . . . I realize in this time of "mommy wars" people can sound judgmental and I don't mean to do that at all. Everyone makes decisions based on their own family needs.

Just sharing my own experience.

Best wishes.

steph

3rdgenRN2B · May 27, 2007

I have a 3 month old and I'll be returning to school this fall after taking a year off. I'm planning on taking 6 credits at night while working full time. I have no idea how I'll do because I've never had so much responsibility at one time...but I'm being optimistic that if it's meant to be then I'll be fine.

prinsessa · May 27, 2007

I am planning on going to school full-time this fall. I am starting nursing school and I want to get it over as quick as possible. I know it will be hard being in school full time with two kids (3 and 9), but it will be worth it when I graduate in 2 years. I did go to school part time for a long time, but I am ready to be done with school (and start making some money!).

*Blessed2BaNRS* · May 27, 2007

Hi KC,

I too am in school with children. I have 4 kids ages 8, 10, 12 and 13. It is tough to study and do work, but I have gone full time since I started. I have taken anywhere from 12-15 hours each semester. I think though that it is a little different than you, since mine are at the age to where they aren't totally dependent on me. My 13 y/o helps cook and they all pitch in to clean the house.

I personally don't see anything wrong with putting them in daycare a FEW times a week. I didn't with my oldest 3, but with my youngest, I did and he had so much fun and was so much more ready for school when the time came. With yours being 1 and 3, I would only put them in like 2 days a week (like a Mother's Day out program) because like Steph above said, you can't get that time with your children back. They will be grown before you know it!! On the other hand, it is entirely possible to go to school and get your pre reqs done. Even if it means going in the evenings while your husband is home with the kids. Or if you can take online classes. That is how I did most of my pre reqs, including A&P I and II. The only pre reqs that I didn't do online was my labs and Micro. I took Micro along with A&P II and with everyone saying how tough the class and instructor was, I knew that I better take it on campus!!!! But...I did finish all of them and even got credits for 4 classes toward a MSN and will start nursing school in August!!!

Good luck with whatever you do!

mommiembd23 · May 27, 2007

I am a single mother of two children (4 and 2) although I'm living at home with my mother I feel that going to school and getting it over with is a great idea. I am 23yo (yes I'm young but am not giving up) I have been going to school part time since 2003 and just, this semester, decided to take on more classes. My children do attend daycare five days a week. I take them to school at 7:30 in the am and I pick them up no later than 3:30pm...and they love it. They love their techer, their friends and the activities they do in school.

I attend school two days a week and the days that I'm not in school I work part time to pay for childcare. ( I do not work on the weekends) After daycare I come home and have plenty of time to laugh, play and teach them new things, while having them down for bed by 8:30pm. Afterwards, is when I do my homework. So with all of that being said, don't get discourage. I'm happy that you have a husband that is very supportive, as I as well do have a VERY supportive family. But what I'm trying to say is, you can put your children in daycare five days a week and while the days you aren't in school you can study more all along spending time with your children from early evening til its bedtime for them. And once they are sleep finish your schoolwork. I hoped I help you in your decision. FYI: Although my school load has increase, my time with my children has not decreased. They are having fun and learning...while I'm in school learning as well, trying to make a better future for them.

Good luck and if you are religious, pray about. For GOD will not put too much on you that you can;t handle.

blissfulee · May 27, 2007

You are all right...they do grow up so fast, so quick and I really don't want to lose this time with them! And since they are still so young, it is really important for me to be there for them and they do really dependent on me still (my youngest is still breastfed)! I feel lucky in the sense that we are in a position where I'm able to stay home with them and I don't have to work. I don't know how moms who work full-time and have young children do it! It must be so rough for them to leave their children in daycare all day...

I think what I'm gonna try to do is take as many of the classes that I can at night so my husband can watch them and they'll be sleeping most of the time too...see if I can take any of the classes online and if I have to..just take 1 or 2 day classes! I know my oldest loves going to daycare because he has friends to play with so that will be fine. Right now they does go to daycare 2 days a week and they both really look forward to going!

Tina - I like the idea of making up games to help you study but also incorporated the kids! How clever! It really sounds like you had a good system down!

Blessed061987 - where do you take your classes online??? My local college doesn't offer any online except English & Math classes.

I do feel better knowing that I'm not the only mother trying to get her nursing degree. I just want this so bad that I'm losing patience! I'm also not getting any younger so that's another reason why I'm feeling so rushed...but what's most important are my babies and this time with them...Thanks for making me realize this and I know I do have the rest of my life to become a nurse..I just have to find the patience now!!

KC

*Blessed2BaNRS* · May 27, 2007

kc,

i am here in tyler, texas and right now go to the local junior college. when i do go for my masters at ut tyler, i will be able to take all the classes online. as a matter of fact, tjc just implemented some of the adn classes online, so my class will be the first that takes online classes!! i am so excited, i can hardly wait!! i love taking online classes, as i am such a visual learner and i have to rewrite my notes anyway. for me and my situation ( i was working full time and having 4 kids-5 if you count my hubby!!!) i was so blessed to be able to have classses online.

i know that there are a lot of colleges who are just now offering classes over the internet, so don't get discouraged! if possible (depending on where you are at) check into other colleges around you. they might offer more classes, and some schools also offer labs online. i have seen a lot of folks on here saying they took their a&p and micro labs online and did just fine. i loved going to class for labs though, because you do get more hands on learning. (to be fair to everyone, people on here have said that they felt just fine taking online labs and also got to do hands-on learning! ) that way, you can enroll there to get your pre reqs online and still go to your college to get into the nursing program.

..god will not put too much on you that you can;t handle.
btw, god does give more than you can handle so that you will turn to him for his help!!! never does the bible say that he won't!! :wink2: i have learned this the hard way!!!
you seem like you have a lot of help and support from your husband and are going the right route. i never want to tell anyone that going to school full time and putting kids in daycare 5 days a week are wrong. some people have no choice but to do that. but, i personally didn't do that. i grew up in daycare and after school care, and my parents missed a lot of my "firsts" and i said that i would never do that to my children. so it is my own personal opinion that if there is any way to be there for your children, do it!!! you won't ever look back and regret putting school first!
good luck with school and if you ever need help, i am on here!!!

jackson145 · May 27, 2007

I'm trying to finish up my pre-reqs for RN '08. My two kids are 5 and 11. I know I'm missing some of their growing-up years, but if I wait until they are in Jr High and High School I'll be missing other things. Once you've had the kids, you'll always have to decide what to sacrifice, but it's been my experience that a mommy who never takes any time for herself doesn't remain a happy, healthy mommy for long. I may regret some of the things I'm missing now, but when the kids are older (and want more expensive 'toys') I'll be able to provide for them. Hopefully, when I send them to college, they'll appreciate (and understand) the choices I made.