Where do I fit in?

[Knotanoonurse]

I am in my fifties. I have been a nurse for 30+ years. For 15 years, I had a job I loved with co-workers, I loved. I left six years ago. My original manager left and was replaced by a person who did not like me and whom I did not like. Frankly, she was very dishonest person. Eventually, after I left, she was replaced by one of her protégé's after having an affair with another administrative person at the facility.

Recently I had a very difficult family situation. I left an administrative job and worked at a small hospital with a very toxic culture for a short time. The unit and hospital where I worked has had many nurses who last just a few months. Though I thought I could go back to my old admin job, it was eliminated.

In the meantime, have been caring for my relative. For the Fall semester, I worked as adjunct faculty which went well. The course I taught is only offered in Fall. I have applied to several other jobs, but have not secured another position. I was asked by the school to return next year.

I had one interview and it was difficult for me to answer some of the questions they asked me to their satisfaction. I had been part of a friendly, but dysfunctional team in my last admin. position. When asked about my accomplishments and what projects I had led/completed, I stumbled. Honestly, we did not get a lot done in over 3 years. There was a takeover by a larger organization and three different nurse managers with whom I worked. The longest serving manager was a lovely person. However, she delegated significant tasks to staff who did not follow through. Projects I should have been involved with (and offered to participate in) were delegated to people who did nothing to move them ahead.

The sister hospital to my place of brief employment, had an open position which fit my qualifications. As a lark (almost...I thought they would not call),I applied. They actually interviewed me. It went well. Two weeks later, I got an email. They are pursuing other candidates. No other information available. I am not sure what happened. It may have been that I had quit the position at their other facility after just a few months. I was honest about this before I was ever interviewed and during the interview (I did not call it toxic). Three staff people from my former employer work at this facility because my former employer basically told them to leave or be fired. Perhaps they complained about me? I know as someone "in management" they disliked me.

So...coming up, I have another interview. Again, it is work which I have done before. I have MSN and multiple certifications. I am well qualified...but I am old. I don't ooze confidence. I used to love being a nurse. Between my family situation and lack of confidence, I am ready to give up. If I did not need to work, due to being so discouraged, I really would just give up. Maybe I should. I had even been accepted into a DNP program, but now cannot attend due to finances. What can I do? Should I go back to staff nursing and do adjunct on the side? It seems I have wasted so much of what I once had going for me. What can I do to boost my confidence and find that job I can retire from in 12-15 years?

[OldDude]

Hello Knotanoonurse...I remember my fifties:) First of all, you'd likely get more opinions if you posted this in the general forum but while you're here I'll give you my two cents worth of opinion.

If you'll review your posts since you joined AN I think you'll see an over-riding theme that is dominated by your thoughts and opinions of "others;" I'm gonna leave that right there. This post is mostly about "others." And to your credit, I think you've identified the culprit in this "stagnation" of your professional voyage, as evidenced by your last paragraph, and that culprit is you; obviously it has nothing to do with your nursing experience or ability. So, think about advise you'd give someone else who has slowly evolved into a negative routine they can't seem to shake - a routine that is keeping them from moving forward with their life. Your first word of advice would tell them to break the cycle, first by identifying the detractors and working to eliminate that from their routine.

So that is my advice to you. This weekend, go rent the Sylvester Stallone movie, "Eye of the Tiger" and watch it several times. You'll get the message of how to break your routine and get back to the basics of life, nursing, the pursuit of happiness, and how to NOT let "others" take up residence in your head.

Best of Luck to you! Please keep us informed of your "progress!"

[WineRN]

I'm not sure you meant for this to go in the school nurse forum.

But I am sorry you are going through this tough time.

Working as adjunct faculty is wonderful especially since they asked you to return. Maybe ask them if they are planning to offer your course in the spring in the future or if there is any other courses available? It has been some time but I remember how aggressively my BSN program hunted for nurse educators.

I recently had surgery and because the doctor was running behind (surprise surprise, right?) I had a chance to talk with my nurse for a bit. She was planning on retiring, but one day she was told to float down to Day Surgery. She did that a few times and then realized that she liked the change of pace and "5 years later I'm still here". I don't know her age but she appeared to be in her 50s (she mentioned having children older than me and I'm 30). You are never too old to learn something new.

There are so many branches of nursing I hope you do find where you fit. You worked hard for your MSN and all of your other certifications, it would be a shame to loose you from our profession.

Sending positive vibes your way

[Knotanoonurse]

Gosh. I do apologize. I am not sure how this post ended up in this section. Thanks for the responses. I do know it is my fault for being a "Debbie Downer" in some ways. I have had times when I have loved my job and would like to revisit that experience. The whole elder care thing outside of work does bring me down. I have to transcend that somehow.

I guess what I am asking is if an interviewer wants to hear about grand accomplishments from my last job, what generally does a person say when there aren't any? I don't think you should slam a former employer in an interview. In many ways, I did like the job and many of the people. However, we got very little done. Two steps forward, one step back, sometimes three steps back. I do own some of that because I was there. I did bring up some of the things which were accomplished, but they were not very dazzling to the interviewer. I am not a walking billboard advertising my own attributes a achievements. I like to be behind the scenes working hard and supporting the team.

My biggest mistake was opening my mouth years ago about my toxic boss. I should have shut up and waited her out. Then I would have still been in my former position and she would have been long gone. I had the nerve to complain about her being allowed to bring in her outside friend instead of interviewing myself and another internal person for a posted position. It was HR's written policy to exhaust all internal candidates before interviewing external applicants. The other person cried and gave up. I reported her to nursing admin. If I had known the trouble it would buy me, I would not have done it. I think my failure in this situation has unfortunately stuck with me. It certainly influenced my subsequent job and contributed to my lack of success. How do I get my old "good attitude" back and how do I address lackluster accomplishments?

[OldDude]

A 30 + year nursing career is hardly lackluster so you can shut that kind of talk up right now girl!!!

First order of business is to watch "Eye of the tiger" a few times.

Second - Make a bullet chart of each item listed in the job description you are applying for. If the job description is not very helpful then do research and identify what the job description would be for a similar position. Under each item you list make a detailed subset of nursing tasks you know to be associated with that particular item; I'm talking about tasks you've realized from actually performing the job and not run of the mill, "Wash your hands before..." I'm talking about stuff like...be sure and apply lubricant to the catheter before you start the procedure...that kind of stuff.

For your interview, wear professional dress, take several copies of your organized and typed task list, along with your resume, hand each interviewer a copy and take the lead..."This is my understanding of the position you are offering. Please review it and let's talk about any loose ends we might need to discuss." And then sit back and play the quiet game until they speak next.

Yes, this is so "not you" right? MY point exactly!!

[TriciaJ, RN]

In an interview, you can always try to turn negatives to positives. For example the three years of upheaval when you didn't accomplish much: "I helped the facility navigate a series of disruptive changes. My focus was the successful onboarding of new personnel."

A savvy employer will read between the lines and know that you were trying to keep a sinking ship afloat. You present yourself as a positive person who brings perseverance and problem-solving skills to the situation.

Good luck out there.

[Forest2]

Well for one thing it is age discrimination. If you had 50 plus year old and a 30 year old with same qualifications who would you choose? I have a masters and a credential as well and am out of nursing, not because I want to be but because I can't get a job. Not even as a staff nurse. I feel I have also wasted my time on more education, etc. What I would recommend is sticking with the teaching as much as possible and pick up some of those summer courses. The permanent instructors may not want to do summers. Also, after you have some good teaching experience look for a job as a nurse educator. You could probably get hired as such if you have hospital experience(recent) and teaching experience. Also, think about teaching CPR, it takes an investment in equipment, etc. How about creating and teaching your own CNA/HHA course?

I have been through all of this and know how you feel. I have applied over 70 positions in the past 6 months, and several interviews, they take one look and say no even though I am highly qualified.

If you live in the city you have a better chance. I live in a rural area and it sucks.

[OldDude]

Well for one thing it is age discrimination. If you had 50 plus year old and a 30 year old with same qualifications who would you choose? I have a masters and a credential as well and am out of nursing, not because I want to be but because I can't get a job. Not even as a staff nurse. I feel I have also wasted my time on more education, etc. What I would recommend is sticking with the teaching as much as possible and pick up some of those summer courses. The permanent instructors may not want to do summers. Also, after you have some good teaching experience look for a job as a nurse educator. You could probably get hired as such if you have hospital experience(recent) and teaching experience. Also, think about teaching CPR, it takes an investment in equipment, etc. How about creating and teaching your own CNA/HHA course?

I have been through all of this and know how you feel. I have applied over 70 positions in the past 6 months, and several interviews, they take one look and say no even though I am highly qualified.

If you live in the city you have a better chance. I live in a rural area and it sucks.

This is like the elephant standing in the room no one wants to see. Regardless, it's still there. Unfortunately, this is a factor, whether "they" will admit it or not.

I've been forgetting to mention Home Health Nursing. That might be something you'd have the experience for and you maybe could settle right in with; basically independent and you see a variety of patients.

[caliotter3]

If you must, go back to staff nursing and do the adjunct teaching on the side. It is better than stagnating at home or retiring too early. Don't let the unfortunate situations win in the end. Leave nursing altogether when YOU want to. Best wishes.

[Knotanoonurse]

I really thank people for their replies and kind advice. Lots of good ideas here. I am gonna try to move forward. Though I would love to just get over my past, it is hard. I think caring for my family member with dementia is also dragging me down. I really liked the last place I interviewed, but it just wasn't to be I guess. On to the next two interviews. One for a hospital and one for a college! Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised. I do have a lot of expertise. My students who were all youngsters actually liked me very much. Go figure. Eye of the Tiger and the list. Gonna do it!

[ajh_txrn]

If I may suggest not just a resume but to develop a portfolio to bring to interviews. You can place any number of your accomplishments in it and it is impressive that one has done the work. I also would make copies of all papers (resume/reference letter/license/etc.) you might expect to leave with the person with whom you are interviewing so they do not have to do anything extra. These are small things but it can make you stand out positively from the rest. Also, being older should never hold you back. It is a very positive thing that you have had the opportunity to gain experience so that you can excel at anything that might be thrown your way. You have seen what has worked in the past and may have alternative options that can resolve issues. Sit down and look online for potential interview questions. Prepare some answers to some hard questions. Try to find both obvious and obscure questions that might be posed in an interview. Practice your answers in front of a mirror. You would be an asset to any place with your years of experience. You need to believe it and present it to prospective employers.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Moved to General Nursing.