Please dont judge me as I am already judging myself hard enough for paying all this money for a degree I hate. I KNEW nursing wasn't for me 1st semester of nursing school. I am not a people person and found myself annoyed with the patients very quickly. My parents and friends told me this wasnt a field for me and my personality, but I for some reason stuck with it. I was 17 and figured "I'm in too deep now may as well finish because nursing credits won't transfer anywhere". So I graduated and got 3 years of ED experience. Hated every minute of it. The patients were often abusive and unappreciative. I felt like a maid who passed out pills between GSWs.
I took advice from this forum and tried outpatient. I enjoyed that environment and schedule more but hated one thing: The patients. In my outpatient role I literally put IVs in all day and gave IV contrast. I had the patients for 15 mins max, but had to ask them several questions to determine the reason for the study/safety of IV contrast. I found myself ANNOYED asking them the questions!! Having to repeat myself because they're on their phone, asking them to "take their shirt and bra off and put the gown on with the opening in the back" and returning to find them with the gown over their shirt, bra, and coat. ANNOYED at patients talking down on me.
I'm so defeated and depressed. I paid all this money and worked so hard for this degree. I just cant stand the patients. My coworkers seem to like me and I'm a good nurse. I'm just not happy. I've tried multiple hospitals and a different setting, but the underlying annoyance is the patients it seems. Are there any nursing fields I may be better suited to?
I have my bachelors degree in nursing. I was halfway through NP school before I realized becoming and NP won't solve my problem.
She doesn't necessarily have an internal problem. She just finds some people rude. Because they are. She doesn't necessarily have P-A disorder or unresolved emotions re: pt care and/or some unmet expectation. Although yes, she would like them to be civil and some are not.
OP - is there a particular age or gender you prefer over others? Or some other quality or attribute you prefer to work with?
I agree with you, the OP doesn't have an internal problem. She or he likely isn't a "server-helper" person who is willing to be treated badly for the greater good of 'helping.' Not everyone gets an internal reward for doing selfless acts behind the scenes and being unrecognized, demeaned or dismissed. We don't all have that same reward center. Even my own 'server-helper' rewards are greatly diminished after 30 some years in hospital settings. It is a different generation of patients and some definitely do have the entitlement expectations which many baby boomers are proud to have, (it isn't bad, it is what drove their generation.) however, as a helper server personality I am not an enabler myself and don't like it either.
So. First, the ED can wear on you. There have been days that I have gone home hating myself for getting frustrated with people for being so mean and hateful when I was running all over the place for 12 hours without a break. But then there were days that the high acuity patients made everything worth it and their families were so appreciative. I think a lot of ED nurses go through the ups and downs in that job. I actually don’t at all hate the ED but have spent many days becoming frustrated with it.
Outpatient can be very repetitive. Don’t think I could do that and maybe the repetition is driving you nuts. Just my two cents.....
Anyway, lots of good suggestions here. What do you think about working with students? As an educator? Nursing informatics is another good one. Quality improvement is a lot of analysis, critical thinking, meetings, but not much bedside care.
Geez, I had to double check that I didn't write this comment.
OP I totally get you, as I am going through this right now. I would have loved OR circulator or scrub, but I live to far away from any surgical centers or hospitals to make call. I don't think one is expected to uproot 20 years of home payments to move, are they, especially when their spouse doesn't want to move.
well, I hope you find something. As for the people who say it's an internal thing- why yes, it is. It's called being burned out with humanity, and the lack of "humanity" any humans have anymore. Just yesterday after all the BS, I found myself saying I wanted to live/ work in a cave to get away from all these rude jerks.
So. First, the ED can wear on you. There have been days that I have gone home hating myself for getting frustrated with people for being so mean and hateful when I was running all over the place for 12 hours without a break. But then there were days that the high acuity patients made everything worth it and their families were so appreciative. I think a lot of ED nurses go through the ups and downs in that job. I actually don’t at all hate the ED but have spent many days becoming frustrated with it.
Outpatient can be very repetitive. Don’t think I could do that and maybe the repetition is driving you nuts. Just my two cents.....
Anyway, lots of good suggestions here. What do you think about working with students? As an educator? Nursing informatics is another good one. Quality improvement is a lot of analysis, critical thinking, meetings, but not much bedside care.
I agree nursing has its ups and downs it’s rewarding and also can burn you out. It’s a wonderful thing when you find your space and fall in when everyday is a joy to work instead of dreading to go to work. You have one life to life so we need to find that balance that’s how I feel. What I do is focus on the things that keeps me inspired like the rewards of my hard work and my co workers jus the little things because this job takes a lot from you. I can relate to everything that you said
On 5/9/2020 at 8:16 PM, Gennaver said:
I agree with you, the OP doesn't have an internal problem. She or he likely isn't a "server-helper" person who is willing to be treated badly for the greater good of 'helping.' Not everyone gets an internal reward for doing selfless acts behind the scenes and being unrecognized, demeaned or dismissed. We don't all have that same reward center. Even my own 'server-helper' rewards are greatly diminished after 30 some years in hospital settings. It is a different generation of patients and some definitely do have the entitlement expectations which many baby boomers are proud to have, (it isn't bad, it is what drove their generation.) however, as a helper server personality I am not an enabler myself and don't like it either.
Well I’m not judging you at all. I completely understand! IV recently taken care of a Covid pt, who had a syncopal episode on the Covid unit then she was moved to me. I work in the ICU. I had this lady all weekend, she ended up being fine, she just vomited and vaguled response. Anyway moved her back to the floor after 2 days in ICU. She was the least critical pt. We had. There were 5 vents that night. Anyways I was in her room each and every time she called out, ask her if she needed anything while in the room of which she denied anything. She wanted cough medicine of which I got, mind you all the garb I had to takeoff and put back on! I preceded to take her cough medicine and it was the wrong FLAVOR!??. So yes I definitely understand your issue with people! Now IV been doing this about 20 years and was a NA before that so I’m about burnt out! I'm always looking for something else! Maybe one day soon I’ll find something!
I'm amazed at the number of people making suggestions that involve working with...patients. Are folks really that uninformed as to what "other" types of nursing specialties involve? If so, don't give advice regarding them.
Specializes in Advanced Practice Critical Care and Family Nursing.
Disclaimer; I am biased in the direction of education. OP says they completed the first half of NP school? That would mean an MSN would be nearly complete. My best advice, finish that, an MBA, or better both. With a little hands on experience and those credentials admin jobs galore. And I speak from experience as well. Best of luck.
If your current ER is difficult, how much of that is the patients and how much is down to teamwork, and your rapport with your coworkers?
I've worked ERs that I absolutely loved, and would never have left if I had the choice, (left due to a geographical move, family reasons). and then I have worked others that I loathe. Even though the job description is the same, its your team that can make it or break it for you.
Yes patients are annoying, but a good team knows that, they will step in when needed, or else be supportive or funny if that's what required. Military nurses seem to much better at this level of teamwork, imho, and the dark humor can turn your day around instantly!
Is it worth checking out other ERs, maybe as agency, to see if they are a better place to work?
Sorry if this doesn't help, I just thought I would throw it into the conversation, just to be sure there isn't a team somewhere else that would work better for you.
I'm in a job I don't especially like, and know which ER I want to go back to, if I get a chance. So I've had plenty of time to think about what works, and what doesn't!
PACU or OR because they are sedated and can't talk! First thoughts that came to mind.
In the meantime try being a little more assertive and tell them to put the phone down or take it from them "just for now" that they will get it back after the procedure as you need to explain things to them and need their undivided attention. Emphasize up front gown only, the rest of the clothes have to go till the tests are done.
Gennaver, MSN
1,686 Posts
I agree with you, the OP doesn't have an internal problem. She or he likely isn't a "server-helper" person who is willing to be treated badly for the greater good of 'helping.' Not everyone gets an internal reward for doing selfless acts behind the scenes and being unrecognized, demeaned or dismissed. We don't all have that same reward center. Even my own 'server-helper' rewards are greatly diminished after 30 some years in hospital settings. It is a different generation of patients and some definitely do have the entitlement expectations which many baby boomers are proud to have, (it isn't bad, it is what drove their generation.) however, as a helper server personality I am not an enabler myself and don't like it either.
Jen