Where do ALL these family members spring from?

[Katie5]

When a relative is about to pass away.I'm not being judgmental how that is not too nice.Through the patient's life, when the patient is awake and would appreciate the gesture so much more and feel loved, only one or two people show up.

Then when the patient has only a few minutes or hours to live, the whole room is jam-packed. What gives with that?

[PurpleLVN]

And then an affluent burial ensues. It hurts me but why couldn't all that have been put to use when their family member was still alive. Think of the joy in knowing you were so loved and care for!

Okay Katie5, I'm am going to assume this family is AA due to the comments you've made-"Is it a cultural thing." "Affluent burial issues." Just want to make some clarification.

As a previous poster mentioned-family can be scattered all over the US and world. Sometimes arrangements have to be made in order to get to the loved one's location. How dare you say that they should have been there earlier. And spent the "affluent" funds on the patients' care instead of the burial!? Just b/c the family didn't show up in numbers before "you" thought they should have, does not mean they weren't visiting the pt at home earlier on or via telephone. And many people-not just AA- have burial plans that ensure that "their" wishes are granted. It is the patients' and family's choice how to bury their loved one and the expense as to which it's done.

Empathy and sympathy should definitely be used at all times when a loved one is lost! Let's try worrying about these next time.

[emphyl]

so far agree with all the comments above but I am a bit surprised cos i thought this practice was common only in my part of the world. (Ghana)

[PurpleLVN]

so far agree with all the comments above but I am a bit surprised cos i thought this practice was common only in my part of the world. (Ghana)

That's why I made the referral to the OP use of the words "Is this a cultural thing." This is very common in the African/African American race but I've seen it in other races as well. I work in an oncology clinic and some patients have quite a few members of their families come-initially only for a consultation-and these include ALL races. I think it's speaks volumes when families show support, whether pre-death or post.

[teeniebert, LPN]

No matter how long a family has been preparing, death of a loved one is still a shock. For some families the pain is lessened if everyone goes through it together. There may be some people there to say goodbye or pay their respects, but I'm guessing many of them are there to comfort each other and be comforted when the time comes.

[Up2nogood RN, RN]

I really don't take the time to ask myself why people do what they do. Wastes too much energy and I truly don't try to judge as I have not walked in their shoes. I give the utmost respect to grieving families regardless of their beliefs as I hope someone will do for me one day.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

Maybe the family that loves them is hours away. Maybe the loved one prefers to NOT have a bunch of people around when in the hospital, and the family members respect that wish until it's clear the end is near.

There are a million reasons why people do what they do, but it seems that assuming the worst is always much more fun than assuming the best.

[StNeotser, ASN, RN]

Perhaps corporate America is to blame?

I recently went on FMLA leave to see my mother who is sick.

However, what I originally requested was regular leave. I was told because I had not submitted in the 90 day time period that it would not be honored.

So I explained some details, that my mother has a stone in her pancreas, that she underwent surgery to remove the stone, that she had severe bradycardia during the surgery and that it was abandoned. Since that time she was hospitalized three times due to pancreatitis. I was pushed by my HR to seek my mothers medical records and submit them for FMLA which I duly did. The paperwork submitted obviously met FMLA guidelines.

When I went home to see her she had no acute periods of pancreatitis and on my return to work, coworkers seemed a little miffed that I had gone on FMLA to see someone that wasn't really that sick.

Perhaps these family members go through the same thing?