ok so i transferred from a junior college in ga to a 4 year university in virginia for nursing (gpa 3.6) . everything went okay as far as transfer goes now i'm in my last 2 years in nursing school.
well i did get fin aid but it isn't enough to cover everything. one of the girls in my dorm strips to pay for school. she said that she makes good money. i told her that i didn't want to strip and it was out of the question . well she told me that i could always become a waitress. didn't have to take off any clothes just flirt with people and serve drinks and they make good money also.
Can i become a waitress at the club without losing my dignity or having other people find out what i do. i really need the money for nursing school because it is expensive. also it is quick easy money. i need some advice before considering doing this.
I know this is an old post...but I think it's relevant especially in these times...there was another thread that was closed down regarding dancing and nursing. I'm a nursing student and have worked at a few strip clubs dancing. It's not an easy job, but I have no other gigs that would be as flexible and that would give me the $ I need to support myself. I have nothing else to fall back on...it's making it possible to make ends meet and live without having to scrounge too badly...
That being said, the gentlemen's club business has slowed down a bit. People aren't earning as much as they used to. Not as many customers spending more generously as they used to. Don't expect to make loads of money. Perhaps being just a waitress or bartender at a stripclub can earn you more in tips than working at a Friendly's, that can almost be for sure. Dress pretty, flirt, and you should be ok. And chose wisely where you chose to work. Lower-end clubs, you'll get more rude customers. Higher-end clubs, nicer customers..though of course always are exceptions.
I don't get the arguments where people say "oh, you're treated like meat." Lots of times in nursing you're treated like meat. Just smile, take their money, and realize not to take it personally, keep your end goal in site, and there you go. It's not candyland all the time... just be strategic, be a business woman, and you can do ok, if you know how to de-stress after work and have fun with it.
If you don't like how public the strip club can feel, you can try driving to a further-out club. You can also invest in a great-looking wig, or put on a "washes-off-immediately" tanner and fake birthmarks, a fake tattoo, anything to make you less recognizable. Heavy makeup can help...at the hospital/wherever people don't wear much makeup...so it could be not recognizable. I've worn long hair extension clip-ins and it works great. Maybe even a colored-streak clip-in that would make it look like you bright-colored a streak of your hair, that'd further help. Also, if you see someone you recognize in the club, you always have the option of going to your locker and putting on a wig. I've done that in the past...told the dj to keep me off rotation, and it worked out perfectly. If that's not good, you can work on a sex talkline, i know of a few dancers who do that to supplement their income. It's relatively anonymous.
I always have worried about someone recognizing me...it is a concern, but you can always totally deny it and call them a pervert for imagining that about you, if it ever pops up. Best thing to do is never tell your coworkers, never tell even your close "trusted" friends, because they can stab you in the back out of jealousy or because they got tipsy one night at the party and let it slip.... I suggest visiting www.stripperweb.com it's a great helpful forum that helped me before I began dancing. I lurked on that forum for a year before starting for real. I also read many dancer memoirs (go to amazon.com lots of them).
It's all a personal decision. You can either try to really scale back your expenses, try to open your own dog walking or mini home cleaning business...or try this. Just be careful and do your research. And especially think twice about it if you have a significant other...he'd be more likely be able to accept you just waitressing or bartending than dancing. And if anyone wants to dance, I suggest keep it secret from significant other because he could never understand. Good luck sweetie.
That is a question only YOU can answer. :icon_roll
My advice? If you're squeamish about the idea of dancing- you probably won't be comfortable in the club *seeing* it either.
ok so i transferred from a junior college in ga to a 4 year university in virginia for nursing (gpa 3.6) . everything went okay as far as transfer goes now i'm in my last 2 years in nursing school.
well i did get fin aid but it isn't enough to cover everything. one of the girls in my dorm strips to pay for school. she said that she makes good money. i told her that i didn't want to strip and it was out of the question . well she told me that i could always become a waitress. didn't have to take off any clothes just flirt with people and serve drinks and they make good money also.
Can i become a waitress at the club without losing my dignity or having other people find out what i do. i really need the money for nursing school because it is expensive. also it is quick easy money. i need some advice before considering doing this.
You might want to check your board laws regarding this type of thing. They almost all have some laws that discuss "morality" issues.
Only approximately half (yes I checked due to another thread ) of all states half clauses related to morality, moral turpitude or similar language.
Almost all of them refer to morality in the context of law. Meaning that convictions involving certain crimes of dubious moral nature can affect your license.
Those that don't refer only to crimes are left vague because morality clauses are terribly hard to enforce. The slightest misstep usually leads to lawsuits which have generally been successful.
The point is A) don't be frightened by the clause if it is present B) contact your BON and have them issue you their opinion in writing C) show it to your lawyer or any lawyer (most lawyers do the initial consultation for free). Then depending on what you are willing to put up with and what your lawyers say make your choice.
Also, remember that for morality clauses to be upheld the body implementing the clause has to be able to prove that your so called immorality negatively impacts the business of said body in a real way. Supposed or theoretical or unprovable impacts are usually shot down.
Morality clauses are a relic of the past when Christian religious belief was the majority belief and the imposition of that belief was acceptable. In the present day they are disappearing due to the difficulty in justifying them and the fact that they are usually unenforceable.
Also, trying to attach ANY specific religious belief to a morality clause pretty much results in a loss in court as it amounts to religious discrimination.
Dancing is not immoral and again in a regular club "free hands", "free show", "freedom for harrassers of women". In a gentleman's club-look don't touch, pay for the privilage. Not a hard one to figure out.
Dancing, stripping, is up to the individual-no one is going to take their clothes off if not comfortable, many clubs the girls dance in bikinis-what's wrong with that? Again I say "a fool is easily parted from their money" girls use their sexuality all of the time. Why not for cash?
Ask the jailers at Guantanamo if people can lose their dignity.......
Their actions were intended to do that, and it worked!
Don't get me wrong. I'm not a fan of terrorists - or torture.
I doubt many jailers who worked at Gitmo have to worry about losing their integrity or dignity for that matter.
Their actions were not to lose the dignity of the individuals who were legally captured terrorists on the battlefield, but to keep them alive. They allow them more than just the basic human rights as alleged by the media..
Have you even talked to a soldier who worked at Gitmo ? I understand you might not like the military, but before you make some bitter comment like that, why dont ask someone who was deployed to Gitmo.
I doubt many jailers who worked at Gitmo have to worry about losing their integrity or dignity for that matter.
Their actions were not to lose the dignity of the individuals who were legally captured terrorists on the battlefield, but to keep them alive. They allow them more than just the basic human rights as alleged by the media..
Have you even talked to a soldier who worked at Gitmo ? I understand you might not like the military, but before you make some bitter comment like that, why dont ask someone who was deployed to Gitmo.
I believe the poster meant that the prisoners, not the guards, were deprived of their dignity. There have been a few stories in the news to suggest some "aggressive interrogation" has been used at Guantanamo--sleep deprivation and so forth. But the point can be made as well by substituting Abu Gharaib for Guantanamo, where the record of indignities to prisoners is pretty clear. In those instances, it could probably be argued that it was the guards and not the prisoners who lost their dignity.
Which may slightly relate to the OP. If a server in a club is sexually harassed by a customer, she may suffer an indignity without losing her inherent dignity. If a server in a strip club willingly undergoes harassment for the sake of tips, that might entail a certain loss of dignity. Maybe. It seems to me it depends a lot on the attitude of the "victim." If the stripper or the server feels no shame in what she (or he, as the case may be) does, it would seem that her dignity was intact. If Abu Gharaib were an s/m club where participation were voluntary, it wouldn't be quite such a national embarrassment. Maybe.
The morality clause is an interesting problem. Waiting tables and mixing drinks are not widely viewed as inherently immoral. Do they become so, depending on the venue? Society is far from universally approving of stripping, but in some venues it is a lawful activity. For that matter, so are posing for nude photos, performing in Mediao films, and (in some venues) prostitution. Are any of these lawful activities immoral? Clearly, they offend the personal morality of some individuals, but eating meat offends the personal morality of some individuals. On the other hand, many of us see smoking marijuana as a mostly harmless, morally neutral behavior, but it is illegal in all but a very few instances, and while a history of illicit drug abuse might not preclude obtaining a nursing license, ongoing drug abuse would assuredly put one's license at risk. I could jeopardize my nursing as well as driving license going home from a strip club, but if I took a cab, it would be nobody's business.
Thanks to all of you who clarified my post for Patrick1rn, regarding loss of dignity prisoners at Guantanimo have sustained, as well as the base whose name I couldn't remember (probably due to the horroe of it).
The answer to his question regarding my having met a soldier who served at "Gitmo", is yes. The condition of persons I've seen was Traumatic Shock Syndrome with impaired self esteem.
No matter how many "macho" statements are made by those who fight, strip, dance, etc. for their living, there is still a toll taken on their opinion of themselves, in my viewpoint and that of many behavioral researchers, with the exception of true "psychopaths/socioimpaired" individuals.
When denial of the effects of trauma are prolonged, that further inhibits response to therapy. If I could make a recommendation to all branches of the service, it would be that "debriefing" happen (without denying them access to their loved ones) for all who return from any action, which includes as many personal psychiatric treatment sessions as a qualified psychiatric Nurse Practitioners or Psychiatrists or Psychologists feels is indicated., in consultation with the soldier, who as a patient is always the most important member of his/her health care team.
I like Stanley's view, that your dignity is yours, regardless of your circumstances or what anyone else thinks. But I see in many of my patients how fragile dignity can be. If one loses one's sense of one's own dignity, or is robbed of that sense by the abuse of others, it's a grievous loss.
I was raised to believe the respect I show others is a reflection of my self-respect. So if I were rude to a patient, or a server, or a stripper, I would have to concede that I must not think very much of myself, or at least not very much of my parents. By the same light, the respect I show others is part of what preserves my self-image when I encounter patients, family members, or people out in the world, who behave rudely toward me.
Still, I see people every day who've lived lives worthy of respect, but whose self-image is jeopardized because they need to be helped to the toilet. I can assure them they haven't lost their dignity, but if they feel they've lost it, they probably think I'm just being nice, rather than showing the respect they deserve. It's not an easy question.
. everything went okay as far as transfer goes now i'm in my last 2 years in nursing school.
. well she told me that i could always become a waitress. didn't have to take off any clothes just flirt with people and serve drinks and they make good money also.
or having other people find out what i do. i really need the money for nursing school because it is expensive. also it is quick easy money. i need some advice before considering doing this.
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Do-over, ASN, RN
1,085 Posts
I would advise against working in a strip club as a dancer or a cocktail waitress.