When should I start a family?

mclennan, BSN, RN · Mar 15, 2015

I can't wait to read these responses.

Hahahahaha

zenman · Mar 15, 2015

Why don't you ask a psychic?

babyNP., APRN · Mar 15, 2015

I won't answer about the taking a year off because that's another can of worms, but like you, I was 28, nearly 29 when I finished grad school for my NP degree. And also worried about having kids.

Have you considered getting you and your partner's (assuming you are in a heterosexual relationship) fertility tested? He can get a semen analysis and you can get the Anti-Mullerian Hormone test (among other tests). While these won't guarantee that you guys are fertile, it might help put your might at ease while you wait. And you can do it without seeing your own health care provider- there are few sites on the web that let you private pay for labs online (they are signed by a doctor remotely) and you just show up to places like LabCorp and get the blood or sample drawn (the companies are called personal labs, private md labs, direct labs, etc etc). Just be sure that you know how to read the test results or go over them with your private doc.

ChellyFutureNP · Mar 15, 2015

I am wondering about the same situation you have but if i were you, i would definitely not plan to have a baby before getting my first job as an FNP. Definitely not before graduation either.... NP school is hectic!

But see, this is tricky. What is more important for you? If having children is more important than a stable NP career, then go for it. Depends on the situation too.. If someone would help you take care of the baby, etc. then it might help you make both things happen at the same time. Getting pregnant at 30 is not unusual. At 35, you're considered high-risk but seen lots of women give birth without any complications. Unless you have any family hx of genetic issues, physical abnormalities, and such, then i wouldnt worry. But if u do (or distressed/worried about this issue), then i suggest you see a provider so they may give you guidance regarding testing and counseling.

Hope this helps.

nyc2011 · Mar 15, 2015

Thank you for the input. I did go to see my gynecologist (I wasn't in school at the time..) but she did not think I needed any further testing because the main predictor according to her was regular periods (which hah not to give too much info here but I guess we are all nurses anywayâ€¦ but I have always always had regular periods). So that is why she did not feel the need to do anything further.

I do think it is crazy to get preggers while school (in fact I think that is a pretty crazy consideration). My career is very important to meâ€¦.if anything were to happen to it i would honestly be devastated. Anyways I appreciate the advice. I will keep it in mind!

Emergent, RN · Mar 15, 2015

Lol, do you think an Internet forum is the best resource to make such an important decision?

Guest03/15/15, BSN, RN · Mar 15, 2015

Well, my mother always said to me. "If you wait until the perfect time to have kids - you will never have any".

LOL pretty much, its never the perfect time. You will always have some cons to whatever time frame you choose.

Its up to your family and your family only.

CamillusRN, BSN · Mar 15, 2015

Lol, do you think an Internet forum is the best resource to make such an important decision?

This made me laugh just a little bit - OK, a lot! :roflmao:

I dunno, it seems many life-changing decisions are being made on AN.com: "will I lose my license if I choose to . . .", "Should I retake the NCLEX for a 12th time . . .", "How do I throw my coworker under the bus when . . ."

Fun times.

Raviepoo · Mar 15, 2015

After your mid 20s your fertility drops precipitously. My gynecologist recommended that I get pregnant by the age of 30 at the very latest. I didn't and I went through menopause before I hit 40. My one regret in life is that I will go to my grave with no kids. I think I might have been put on earth to serve as a warning to other smart women (but that's just my pathology.)

I am only one person and my experience is mine alone. Just the same I want to give you a warning. Many of those smiling, 45 year old actresses you see holding their brand new twins on magazine covers got pregnant using someone else's eggs. Those publicized older mothers gives people the idea that it's OK to wait to get pregnant. It might be. It might not be. If it is essential to you (for whatever reason) that you have children who share your genetic heritage, don't put motherhood on hold and assume you can always do it later.

PS - I intend to enter NP school in my mid 50s. Career can wait. Motherhood is for the young.

BirkieGirl · Mar 15, 2015

just don't let your age be a major factor. i fought infertility from the age of 25 and ended up with IVF at 28, then fought again through multiple failed IVFs in my 30s and was blessed with a domestic private adoption. conversely, i work with plenty of gals who waited until their very late 30s and even early-mid 40s to pursue starting a family. don't assume that because you are young, you will or will NOT have fertility on your side...

nyc2011 · Mar 15, 2015

Wow thanks for all the comments everyone! Raviepoo I am sorry to hear your story but I appreciate you sharing it. I believe you are right! It is important to make people aware. Sometimes, that is the main issueâ€¦.

Birkie Girl, thank you for the kind words too :)

I know it is a tough decision but I know I cannot try or attempt to have any children in school for sureâ€¦haâ€¦that would be too much for me at least! i know some people that do it but I don't think I could handle it.