Published Oct 29, 2007
np_wannabe
315 Posts
Hello folks.
Here's a question that been weighing on my mind for a while....
I've been accepted to nursing school--twice now (in May '07 & Oct '07)--but have turned down both invitations because I can't stand thinking about missing out on my young children's lives (they are 2 & 4). As a side note, I left my career to be a stay-at-home mom for the same reason 4 years ago.
For those of you who are mothers, when do you think is the best time to go through school: When they are really young or when they become school-age?
thank you so much for your opinions/suggestions/sharing your experiences....
RN1989
1,348 Posts
You are always going to miss something if you have children when you go to school. You will miss those "firsts" when they are young. And you will miss plays, recitals, ball games, etc. when they are school age. And when you are a nurse, especially if you work in the hospital, you will miss birthdays, holidays, fieldtrips, etc.
If you have already left your first career and turned down nursing school when others are dying to get into school and spend years on a waiting list, you might rethink if you really want to be a nurse.
mauxtav8r
365 Posts
I don't know what is right for you and your family, but I'll tell you my story.
Every year after I quit work to stay at home with my two, I'd have my "annual career crisis" because I needed something to occupy my mind. Not that childcare isn't challenging, but hey, let's get real. It takes energy and stamina, not grey matter.
I waited until they were both in "real school" so I could do the school thing during the day and after they went to bed. We have only occasionally needed to enroll them in after school care (we have no family nearby).
Hang in there on the mom job. It wears on you mentally until you forget why you thought it was important. I used to fantasize about going to work, feeling clean (no spit up, no diapers), talking to grown ups. I ended up during those years taking some classes but mainly stuff I could do during nap time or after bed time. I had some good friends who were also sahm's, and that helped. We'd swap dinners, go to the park, doing stuff together to get to talk to another person who understood.
Blessings.
JenRN30, BSN
289 Posts
My son is 6 months old, and it's the hardest thing to be away from him everyday. The way that I get through the day is knowing that I'm doing this FOR HIM. My husband and I will be better able to give him what he needs, and pay for his college. He's always fine without me, and your kids will be fine without you too. It's us moms that have the hard time being away from them. Think about how many moms are away from their kids every day while they're at work. If nursing is really what you want to do, then do it! Your kids will be proud of you for it!! Good luck.
You are always going to miss something if you have children when you go to school. You will miss those "firsts" when they are young. And you will miss plays, recitals, ball games, etc. when they are school age. And when you are a nurse, especially if you work in the hospital, you will miss birthdays, holidays, fieldtrips, etc.If you have already left your first career and turned down nursing school when others are dying to get into school and spend years on a waiting list, you might rethink if you really want to be a nurse.
Add to this ". . . and you and your husband will probably end up divorced, too" and you have a near-quote of my aunt's advice to me before I started nursing school. So far zero has actually occured (apologies, RN 1989, but I doesn't always have to be this way).
SaderNurse05, BSN, RN
293 Posts
For me, going to nursing school was like getting pregnant- both things I wanted to do but never the right time. I do agree if you have been accepted twice and do not go then you need to think about how much you really want to do it. BTW I have 2 great kids AND a BSN now... just never could have planned it all way back then.
I know I want to be a nurse....I just want to be with my children more (for now).
I don't know what is right for you and your family, but I'll tell you my story.Every year after I quit work to stay at home with my two, I'd have my "annual career crisis" because I needed something to occupy my mind. Not that childcare isn't challenging, but hey, let's get real. It takes energy and stamina, not grey matter.I waited until they were both in "real school" so I could do the school thing during the day and after they went to bed. We have only occasionally needed to enroll them in after school care (we have no family nearby).Hang in there on the mom job. It wears on you mentally until you forget why you thought it was important. I used to fantasize about going to work, feeling clean (no spit up, no diapers), talking to grown ups. I ended up during those years taking some classes but mainly stuff I could do during nap time or after bed time. I had some good friends who were also sahm's, and that helped. We'd swap dinners, go to the park, doing stuff together to get to talk to another person who understood.Blessings.
Thank you for your kind words...I appreciate your understanding and perspective. I would have gone crazy, mentally, if not for my prerequisites (which I took either online or an all-day saturday class.) Good for the brain. :-)
Djuna
276 Posts
I will tell you my story. My children were 1 and 3 when I started doing my 3 year Nursing Diploma. My husband picked up a lot of extra work, especially when I was on clinical placement.
I sincerely regret missing out on my children's milestones and I understand now how much they missed out on valuable time with their mother. The extra strain also contributed to my marriage breaking down.
As much as I justified going to school with the whole 'it will be better for my family in the long run', I would NEVER advise anyone to do it while their children were so young. Nursing school will always be around, there will always be a need for nurses, but your children will never be this age again and they will miss you.
I don't want to offend anyone or tell anyone what they should do with their own lives, but 14 years later I still cry about my missed time with my precious babies and my marriage that I helped ruin.
dakotaalrick
11 Posts
I put off going to school for years, my two sons 19 & 22 years old now and what have I to show for It. I have two younger kids, there is so much that I want to give to them, yes I will miss them while I am in school but, I am looking at the bigger picture. Everyone situtaion is different, do what is best for you.
HM2VikingRN, RN
4,700 Posts
Can you apply to a part time program?
Oz2
101 Posts
It sounds like you answered your own question.