OK. I don't want to fluff any feathers. I'm simply trying to get an opinion to experienced nurses and try to see this from the nurses point of view. I'm a nursing student so my POV is still very different from that of a seasoned Nurse and I understand this fact.
My mother had surgery today. She was scheduled to have a Hysterectomy and a Tummy Tuck. Her Hematocrit was too low (25) to do the tummy tuck so she just had the hysterectomy and will do a tummy tuck in roughly 6 weeks when she has healed and hopefully brought her iron back up. She has lost tons of weight and kept it off through diet and exercise alone. She quit smoking after 20+ years as well. Needless to say, this was a big day full of ups and downs for her and the whole family. (myself, dad, sister and brother)
Once she got to her room 2 hours post op she was doing as well as can be expected. She was of course in and out of it but pretty much knew what was going on. My dad, sister and I were there in the room. My sister had planned on spending the night with her and helping her with anything she needed. I was helping her with positioning, drinking fluids, answering any questions she or my dad had. My family has always believed that family involvement is very helpful to the nurses and we have always wanted to do as much as we could knowing that nurses are extremely busy and their time is precious. That all being said. My mother's nurse was less than enthusiastic that my mom would get talkative with her, my mom simply does this out of nervousness (esp with people she just met). I told the nurse I was a student and just about to graduate. I could make sure she did her incentive spirometer, kept and eye on her O2 sat, and let her know if we needed anything. Well, there were only 2 chairs in the room. We were all fine with one of us standing and being busy or just simply standing looking out the window during quiet times. My mother however was a typical mother and insisted that there was a third chair in the room. I asked the CNA, my sister also asked the CNA. We were told no problem and she would bring one back when she found one. Two hours pass and my sister and dad go to eat. When they come back my mom, once again in and out of a morphine nap, insisted there be a third chair. When the nurse came to the room my mom asked for a third chair very sweetly with a raspy dry voice. The nurse, in a not so nice tone said she'd try to find one. Moments later, she came back and said "Well here you go but just so you know now the room next to you has to be without a chair because of you. I hope you're happy".
Of course her tone didn't sit well with my mom, dad, or sister. I brushed it off and said she probably has a big workload and is tired. Then a couple hours later my mom was starting to have more pain that she thought she should. I know that the nurse needs to hear from the pt. herself the description of the pain so we called the nurse. Well, she was less than happy to have to discuss this with my mom and simply just said "well I gave you Toradol so any pain you have you just have to deal with"
To me, this is very uncompassionate care. I understand that nurses see a ton of different people, pt's as well as their families. But for my family, this wasn't a daily thing. This was a stressful and difficult day physically and emotionally. My mom and dad don't do this everyday, they paid a lot of money via insurance as well as out of pocket. Of course my mom was upset and didnt' feel comfortable with her nurse. I really wanted to go speak to the charge Nurse about it but I didn't, I left it alone.
Is my family wrong in feeling that this was very unprofessional as well as uncompassionate or as a nurse is everyone supposed to just bow down and be glad you even came to their room and answered the call?
This hospital specifically advocates families. My mom would have been ****** if we left. She's the matriarch, what she says in the family goes. She knows that nurses are very busy and can't come to help her reposition or wash her face or whatever she needed. She was more than thankful for us being there. The hospital specifically built bigger rooms a couple of years ago to accommodate the family. They know it's better for the staff and pt. in most situations.
I knew the meds she was on...it was Morphine PCA and then toradol prn. Nothing else po at home or otherwise.
I've worked in rooms that were smaller with 2 pts and family in them..it's tough but it can be done and each pt deserves the same amount of respect. I don't see anything wrong with family being the pt's advocate. There are too many horror stories out there not to be. Most nurses are great at their job given any situation not just the ideal.
I'm not grouchy but it rubbed me the wrong way too. If a nursing student acted this way while i was caring for the patient, what I'd be THINKING would be alot worse than what I'd probably be SAYING. So maybe consider yourself lucky?
5. If so many nurses are so unhappy taking care of pts and families, workload, not enough pay, schedules, dealing with other nurses. Why not find another job in another profession. Every job/profession sucks period. Every job has crappy schedule, crappy customers, crappy bosses, get in the way of our own personal lives. That's just how it is be it a Nurse, Pharmacist, Doctor, Waitress, Mailman, whatever. Working to live sucks. I feel I have to look deeper at it than just a job...it's an extremely important job and it demands my respect if I'm going to want others to respect me.
I beg you to come back and revisit this post after you have been a nurse for a year. I can pretty much guarantee your perspective will be different.
I think everyone feels like this about their job. They feel like their job is the toughest esp when dealing with the public. I've worked in pharmacy for several years and this is exactly how pharmacists feel, they don't get paid enough to do what they do, no one respects them and the workload is too much. Trust me, everyone feels like this....except for maybe drug dealers.
I've worked with the public...i've felt like most of them are demanding, overbearing, ignorant, and hard to deal with. And I've been the public and realize everyone comes from different walks of life. We don't have to accommodate everything but there is a way to act professional and compassionate understanding that others don't have the same education and training as we do and simply don't know better. They are probably not at their best and neither is their family, they're dealing with a difficult time that is scary and frustrating and exhausting emotionally, financially, and physically. The least nurses, dr's, pharmacists, anyone who deals with the publilc can do is to realize this fact and accept it and be compassionate and caring in a way that gets the best results for us so that we can do our job with the highest cooperation and respect from others.
And sometimes, no matter how hard we do that, some people just won't get it...that's when you take a deep breath, smile, and do your job.....as caring as possible.
You are right. Some people just won't get it. Especially those who have yet to walk a mile in those shoes.
You asked what reason the nurse might have had for her behavior, and you were given many. You seem intent to not accept what has been said, so I do not see how any further discussion is going to change your opinion. I gotta bow out on this one.
But I still insist. PLEASE revisit this after your first year. Read your own words, and see how one's perspective can change once they have been there, done that.
From your post, I don't think you did anything wrong. You weren't rude, demanding, in the way, etc. If you wanted to help out with her IS, fine, we can't be in every room every hour reminding patient's to do it anyways. If you wanted to watch her O2 sats, fine, because the nursing staff should have been keeping an eye on it also. If you wanted to help reposition, I don't see anything wrong with that either. As long as the families are respectful of the nursing staff and are not hovering over the patient and making the patient more anxious, I don't see anything wrong with families helping out. That is fine if a family member wants to be the patient's advocate, as long as they are respectful. I could go on about horror families, but it doesn't sound like your family is one, so I won't. Now the chair issue....If someone asks us for a chair, we go get one, it's not a big deal. I don't see why this is being made out to be such a big thing. Now, if there are 10 family members in a room all wanting a chair, that's a different story. The nurse in your post was very rude. If she didn't want to give pain medication, she should have explained why, very simple. I would be interested to know what else was going on in her day (not that this is an excuse for her rudeness) Just remember, most nurses are not like this. It is unfortunate you had this experience. Sorry, I am kind of rambling, can't quite get my thoughts together this morning. Just out of curiousity, how has the rest of your mom's hospital stay gone?
I should clarify my comment on the O2 thing. Families should not be doing vital signs. If her oxygen was being monitored continuously, well then, it is kind of hard for families not to see it and keep an eye on it. But, the nursing staff should be monitoring it also and not asking the family to do it.
1. you don't have a nursing license and are not employed as a nurse at this hospital. therefore you should not be doing anything clinical. not even o2 sats. it's not your license on the line if something goes wrong.
[color=#00bfff]2. expecting someone to just up and change professions in mid stream because their not happy is usually pretty unrealistic, especially as we get older. my teenagers need to go to college now, it's their turn, so don't think i'll be going back to school anytime soon. my bills need to be paid. their bills need to be paid.
[color=#00bfff]3. advocating for families to get involved is a poor ploy by hospitals who are understaffed. usually i would just as soon families let me do my job rather than them being in the way. i often feel like their not letting me do my best because i have to part the sea of family just to get to the patient.
I read the post to not have anything inappropriate said or done on the family's part, but it had an air of insincerity in that the family was so accommodating and did everything right and the nurse was a royal beast. I don't think we have the clearest retelling of the events, especially considering the circumstances.
I agree with the above. When I think of family advocating for their relative, I picture the family being there for the patient, holding their hand and comforting them, NOT monitoring vital signs and what not. It's inappropriate for any family member regardless of their nursing student status to be monitoring vital signs EVEN if asked by the nurse. I think the OP and the RN were inappropriate equally. I think it's rude on the OP's part to expect those nurses who are unhappy to just go and change careers. People who do not walk in my shoes or any other nurse's shoes seem to think that nursing is an "easy" career. OP, you are a nursing student. Once you step out into the "real world" of what nursing is, I'm sure your opinion will change. Be happy you got your three chairs as yes, it probably did mean that the nurse had to take one from another patient's room; chairs are limited.
You know I think it's nice that hospitals advocate for families BUT that doesn't mean that families interfere with the nurse's work or do the work of the nurse. I think the comment about the nurse not being able come to reposition the patient is absolutely absurd. Yes nurses are busy and that often means that patients will have to wait a few minutes or so before the nurse or aide can get to the room, it DOESN'T mean that the nurse cannot reposition the patient or wash their face.
momofqc
58 Posts
Fiona
This hospital specifically advocates families. My mom would have been ****** if we left. She's the matriarch, what she says in the family goes. She knows that nurses are very busy and can't come to help her reposition or wash her face or whatever she needed. She was more than thankful for us being there. The hospital specifically built bigger rooms a couple of years ago to accommodate the family. They know it's better for the staff and pt. in most situations.
I knew the meds she was on...it was Morphine PCA and then toradol prn. Nothing else po at home or otherwise.
I've worked in rooms that were smaller with 2 pts and family in them..it's tough but it can be done and each pt deserves the same amount of respect. I don't see anything wrong with family being the pt's advocate. There are too many horror stories out there not to be. Most nurses are great at their job given any situation not just the ideal.