What is wrong with me?

Nursing beats you down sometimes, yep.

The 20 patient group report should be 2 sentences on each one, right? Can't they put it on paper, and give each oncoming nurse a copy? Then if something is up and you have to help you'll have some idea of the major issues. That's all you'd remember anyway.

They could. That was discussed but according to management it was decided that we would do this huge report. It just bothers me. We are combining with another ICU to make one huge ICU. I'm thinking that this huge group report isn't going to fly for long. I'm just frustrated with it all. I'm just sick of them changing things from one thing to the next. Do it how it was always done, each pod does an individual report. I don't want report on 10 more patients that I won't see and won't be able to help because I can't step away from the 10 patients in my pod.

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. It sounds like your NM lacks judgment (assigning new ICU nurses to charge and precept new orientees) and is unrealistic in not listening to honest feedback from the staff regarding the most efficient way to do report.

Change certainly is difficult and often necessary but it seems like your NM is being capricious by making the change in the way your unit gives report. "Don't go into it with a defeated attitude." Sometimes a defeated attitude is because someone is afraid of change---any change. Sometimes it's because someone just has a rotten outlook on everything. And sometimes it's someone's gut saying, "Hey, this isn't gonna work!"

You're a responsible and sensible person, TLS. IMHO, I think your reticence for this change is your critical thinking jumping in and saying, realistically, that this is not a good thing. I also think your resentment toward your NM about the new ICU nurses being charge and acting as preceptors is telling you something is WRONG with your unit.

I sincerely hope you get out of there ASAP with your dignity and sanity intact. BTW, hope you're feeling well!

I want to tell my manager that I want to move to the other ICU team and I don't know how to tell her.

Just remember that the grass is not always greener, and that there will be BS wherever you go. More than likely, you'll just be trading one form of BS for another. I'm sure you're well aware of this, though. Personally, I would make sure to avoid burning any bridges, and to make the transition on a positive note. I would tell your NM something like "I really appreciate X, Y, and Z, and love this and that about this unit. But, I think I'm ready for a change, and I'd like to transfer to the other ICU team. I think it will broaden my experience as a nurse to make this change, and add to my professional growth and development." Or something along those lines. I wouldn't shoot myself in the foot by pointing out everything about my current unit that I don't like. Not at this stage, anyway. It may feel a bit dishonest, but it's not really. If you can think of a few good things to say about your current unit, and the fact that you do want this move because you want a change, then you're not being dishonest at all. You're just keeping things positive.

Yeah, I know the grass isn't greener on the other side. My boss emailed me back, wants to sit and chat the next time I work. Now I'm freezing up and don't feel like I should even bother. Sometimes I ask myself "Why do I freakin' care? Just go to work, do your job and go home." I don't know. Maybe my hormones are totally out of whack after this surgery.

NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!

something is wrong with that floor. ALWAYS blame it on the floor! (unless its really your fault )

I think that its super that you are at least trying to make a difference! Some nurses *cough*me *cough* don't even try. Why? because when you do try the exact thing happens you get turned down only to find one month later the fav of the manager had the same idea and the manager goes with it.

You do the best you can and that is something you should be proud of.

we all fell bitter and burned out from time to time.And yes-your hormones and the major surgery you had can contribute.I'm a BIG believer in anti -depressants ( better living through chemistry) I'll freely admit that I don't appreciate the attitudes I sometimes encounter from nurses with many years less experience then I.I tend to just withdraw from the area and do my thing.If you react then you are "eating your young" I'll pick my battles-if it comes down to patient safety then I'm on it...

I have a lot to think about. There are three available ICU positions, two in MICU and 1 in Neuro ICU.