What orders from providers have made you laugh the most?

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Have you ever seen any orders from a doctor for a patient that simply made you laugh?

A couple of recent examples:

"Facility to make arrangements for resident to successfully consume one banana"

"Resident should avoid any situations in which he would be required to scuba dive" (as a note: I live in a location where there are absolutely no bodies of water in which scuba diving would be safe)

Specializes in Med-Surg/Tele/ER/Urgent Care.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

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Specializes in Emergency.
On 4/2/2022 at 10:41 PM, PollywogNP said:

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Is this a play on Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Specializes in Pediatric Critical Care.
On 3/30/2022 at 1:50 PM, SilverBells said:

"Resident should avoid any situations in which he would be required to scuba dive" (as a note: I live in a location where there are absolutely no bodies of water in which scuba diving would be safe)

Don't you hate it when you accidentally get into situations that require scuba diving?

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Specializes in LVN.

In my 30 years or more of experiences in nursing, I have been working as an LPN for 20 amazing years in the same hospital.  As nurses we have to make sure that every medication that is ordered by the doctor has an indication and parameters  for use. I can recall many years reading a Doctor’s order for my 91 year old Female patient diagnosed with CVA and Pulmonary Hypertension to be taken as follows Sildenafil (Viagra) one tab po Q8 hrs and nursing considerations written by MD was to “Monitor for sexual dysfunction” the patient just had a stroke  left side weakness with flaccid arm and legs? Still monitor for Sexual Dysfunction? Smh!

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A patient had an order for throat lozenges q4h PRN. He was asking for them more frequently, so the Dr changed the order to “may have ad lib or until develops dental caries”

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Specializes in Rehab/Nurse Manager.
15 hours ago, Julius Seizure said:

Don't you hate it when you accidentally get into situations that require scuba diving?

It's terribly frustrating. The struggle is real

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Specializes in Rehab/Nurse Manager.
On 4/2/2022 at 9:41 PM, PollywogNP said:

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

Back in the 1980s, “STAT Banana”,   for low potassium!

There was a RED phone with no dial that was a direct line to switchboard for codes & other emergencies. I debated using it to call the kitchen for the banana.

The STAT banana orders are fantastic. My only problem with them is they aren't usually detailed enough.   They don't specifically indicate the size of the banana, the color of the banana,  the consistency and texture of the banana, etc.  For example,  should it be a small, hard and green banana,  a medium-sized soft banana,  or a large, brown mushy banana.  Specifics are needed! 

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Specializes in Rehab/Nurse Manager.
5 hours ago, Barbie said:

In my 30 years or more of experiences in nursing, I have been working as an LPN for 20 amazing years in the same hospital.  As nurses we have to make sure that every medication that is ordered by the doctor has an indication and parameters  for use. I can recall many years reading a Doctor’s order for my 91 year old Female patient diagnosed with CVA and Pulmonary Hypertension to be taken as follows Sildenafil (Viagra) one tab po Q8 hrs and nursing considerations written by MD was to “Monitor for sexual dysfunction” the patient just had a stroke  left side weakness with flaccid arm and legs? Still monitor for Sexual Dysfunction? Smh!

Are you saying that wouldn't be the first order you'd immediately ask for upon taking over care for this patent? Seems like a high priority to me ?

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Specializes in Retired from Ambulatory Surgery.

I was a nurse in the era of hand-written orders - they could be challenging!  One of my favorites (and most difficult to decipher) was the order to discharge when alimenting!  I also loved the order "May stand to whiz".  Fund times!

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Specializes in Retired from Ambulatory Surgery.

Pardon the misspelling - tried to edit but that function didn't seem to work.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
On 3/31/2022 at 12:34 PM, nursej22 said:

In the olden days of paper charts a doc with notoriously atrocious handwriting and temperament scribbled an order and left. No one could decipher it and all were reluctant to contact Dr. Horse's Behind (citation: Ruby Vee). Finally the charge nurse mustered the wherewithal to call, because of course, this could impact the patient's care. Turns out the order was  "get the patient today's newspaper". 

It was "Dr. Imaflamingdonkeybutt, but you were close.  (Laughing out loud!)

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

Long before I met Dr. ImaFlamingDonkeyButt, I met a first year medical resident whose name was Flaming.  (OK -- not actually "Flaming," but close.)  When he introduced himself to the MICU nurses for the first time, he introduced himself as "Call Me Doctor Flaming."  I have a lot of stories about this particular resident, but one of them was when his patient complained to him that "the nurses are letting my flowers die," he wrote an order in enormous capitol letters -- probably the only LEGIBLE order I ever saw him write.

"FLOWER CARE

Q 24 H"

 

The real Dr. ImaFlamingDonkeyButt wrote some epic orders, too.  When the decision was made to withdraw care on a patient, he wrote orders to D/C monitoring, tubefeedings, and vasoactive drips.  He named each and every drip (there were several) the patient was on, but forgot the dopamine drip.  The charge nurse (a new charge nurse) called him late at night to ask for an order to D/C the dopamine drip, too.  I had already D/C'd it, figuring it was included in the order to "D/C all vasoactive drips."

When he came in early in the morning, he picked up the patient's chart, scribbled something and then flung the chart at the charge nurse.  The order was, "Continue Dopamine drip forever unless I say so."  Again, big block letters and probably the most legible order he had ever written. 

 

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