What orders from providers have made you laugh the most?

[SilverBells, BSN]

Have you ever seen any orders from a doctor for a patient that simply made you laugh?

A couple of recent examples:

"Facility to make arrangements for resident to successfully consume one banana"

"Resident should avoid any situations in which he would be required to scuba dive" (as a note: I live in a location where there are absolutely no bodies of water in which scuba diving would be safe)

[Davey Do]

 In January 1984, my first job as a new LPN was in a Mom & Pop Nursing Home. There was a cute little old man who use to sit at the glass door entrance and self administer his med.

 

[nursej22, MSN, RN]

In the olden days of paper charts a doc with notoriously atrocious handwriting and temperament scribbled an order and left. No one could decipher it and all were reluctant to contact Dr. Horse's Behind (citation: Ruby Vee). Finally the charge nurse mustered the wherewithal to call, because of course, this could impact the patient's care. Turns out the order was  "get the patient today's newspaper". 

[Davey Do]

I couldn't read a psychiatrist's written med order, so I called him, being the personable fellow he was.

"What does it look like I wrote?" He asked.
"Well, sir", I replied, "I looks like you wrote 'Napalm'."
"Oh hee hee hee hee hee hee", he laughed, "I wrote ' Niaspan'!"

[No Stars In My Eyes]

"1 dram of spirits at HS"

Pt used to say she was 'going to sleep now!' so she would be given her shot of brandy. Then a few hours later after shift change she used to say, 'I'm going to sleep now' and request her 'toddy'...again. She did get away with this for a while, but eventually was found out.

I worked 3-11 at a hospital;  the doctor with atrocious penmanship HATED getting calls at home at night. When my 3-11 charge nurse had to clarify any of his orders, she always waited (if it could be done w/o harm to the patient) until 10:45 PM to call him. After about the third time this happened, he cussed out the nurse, to which she sweetly replied, "Well, Dr. M____, if you would learn to write a clear and complete order, I wouldn't have to call you, would I?"

[marlene L]

Every July the new resident docs would arrive, often so green that they relied on nursing to help with orders. I had a new admit and reminded the doctor to write for I & Os, he asked me twice to repeat it and then said, 'how do I do that'. I said, just write I & Os. When I went to check the orders, he had written 'eyes and nose'. hahahhaha

[marlene L]

There was a sweet physician who was so good to his patients. He was also very trusting of the nursing staff and our suggestions. One day I suggested several things for a patient. He grabbed the chart and wrote 'give the patient anything that Marlene wants'. (I loved that order!!)

[RNperdiem, RN]

Oh yes, penmanship. My early nursing years involved reading those orders. Don't miss that part.

I remember the first time I saw an order for a milk and molasses enema. Never heard of such a thing. The charge nurse reassured me that this was not a misprint.

[NICU Guy, BSN, RN]

Not an order from a physician, but a story online many years ago (maybe here???). A farmer pulls up to a rural ER and needed help with his horse (or maybe a cow) in a trailer in the ER entrance. ER physician tells the farmer that they don't treat livestock. Evidently, the previous ER doctor (that retired) was also a farmer and would help this farmer out with his livestock. Somehow, the retired ER doctor was able to bill the farmer through the hospital for his vet services. I am sure there is some bizarre, never used billing code that the retired ER doctor used. 

[CommunityRNBSN, BSN, RN]

On 4/1/2022 at 7:32 AM, marlene L said:

Every July the new resident docs would arrive, often so green that they relied on nursing to help with orders. I had a new admit and reminded the doctor to write for I & Os, he asked me twice to repeat it and then said, 'how do I do that'. I said, just write I & Os. When I went to check the orders, he had written 'eyes and nose'. hahahhaha

This one really made me chuckle!

[mtmkjr, BSN]

16 minutes ago, CommunityRNBSN said:

This one really made me chuckle!

He must have been so confused!

[PLG1988]

I have seen "CPR PRN".  

Good thing I have an order to do something should the Full Code patient try to die.