What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

Specializes in ICU, Telemetry, ER.

We had a pt present w/law enforcement (can you believe it) and when she was told she could go back to jail she threw herself down on the floor and fakes the absolute worst "seizure" in the world- anyway the other nurse with me proceeded to tell her that if she was going to try to fake seizures again that she should really read up on it because that had to be the worst fake seizure that we had ever seen. So she jumps up and says some lovely choice words and said ok guess i'm going back to jail and we said yup see ya later and then we both just almost wet our pants laughing to hard....

I also had a girl that presented with a "black tongue" and was all worried about this in the middle of night. I asked if she had been eating anything black and she said NO but her friend said "didn't you have some black licorice" oh she forgot about that. Then she ask me to call her probation officer to let him know that she had been there She was wearing a bracelet around her ankle and could only be out for some much time. Anyway, I declined and told her she needed to go right home because she did not need to see the dr.

Specializes in ER, ICU, Paeds, Gen Surg.
I used to work with this triage nurse who just loved the expression "therapeutic wait", at first I was a little shocked but I must admit that the expression has grown on me somewhat.

I'm sure I don't need to (or probably want to) elaborate.

Suffice to say, there is limited scope for deterring inappropriate presentations

or unreasonable demands, but the "therapeutic wait" ensures that they don't get it all their own way at least.

"Therapeutic Wait" This is EPIC! Hope you don't mind - but I will be adopting that phrase!:D

Specializes in ER.

Word came from security that they had a woman outside who couldn't walk to triage because her arm hurt too bad. She wanted a stretcher to carside, LOL.

We had a 3 hour wait to be seen in a+e last night and i was in triage doing the simple cases that my mentor assigned to me when the bleeper goes off (this is reserved for those who have chest pain/breathing difficulties/ie those who need to be seen now) so i go round and pick up the info 'wasp sting, anaphlaxis' so i see this guy and the following conversation takes place.

me: ok, when did you get stung and where abouts on you?

patient: on the back of my neck

me:did you use your epi pen? have you been stung before?

patient: oh no i dont have an epi pen, yes ive been stung before, about 3 times.

me:what happened when you were stung before?

patient:i came to a+e (at this point i checked his previous visits and allergy information ( there is no evidence/record of any allergies)

me: erm ok (all of his observations are fine,no breathing diffculties,no swelling, in fact i cannot even see the frikking sting)erm...when did you get stung? and has your gp referred you for allergy testing?

patient: at 1pm today and no i havent seen my gp about this.

me: (looking at my watch) well it is now 7pm, if you had a true anaphlaxis you would been exhibiting symptoms immediately.This is not an allergic reaction.If you were truely allergic then your gp would have given you an epi pen.

(I went to speak to my mentor and a doctor who laughed and sent the guy round to the out of hours gp where the patient had at least 2 hours to wait)

A woman rang an ambulance for an ear infection, paramedics arrived to find three family members who were going to drive to a+e anyway 'to keep her company'-The worst thing of all, the patient lived less than a 5 minute walk away, she lived just over the road from the a+e department.

But the best has to be ear wax. Guy came in at 4am thursday morning complaining of excessive ear wax. Doc told him to use olive oil and see his gp. Patient says oh im seeing him at 4pm friday anyways.

Grrr!!

Pt came to the ED because she wanted to be tested for H1N1.. because she flew over Mexico. No symptoms/complaints. No Joke

Not a nurse or anything like that but my friend's father once had her put on a psych ward when she was 16 because he and his wife read her diary and found out she had sex with her boyfriend.

Specializes in Emergency, Occupational Health.

Several Weeks ago---

A gentleman, in his mid 60's...

-Constipated for several days

-decided to attempt to disimpact himself....... wait for it......

WITH A VIBRATOR.

-the vibrator got stuck.

bwahahahaha.

another good one from a couple weeks back--- (i didn't have this patient, but i just saw the general complaint come up on the waiting screen)

"13 F

Possible worm in lady parts"

what the...

This is rediculous because it is so shocking...not because it's dumb to come in if this happened but...

and I'm not a nurse yet but my aunt who is a nurse in the ER shared..

A man came in with a cell phone stuck in his orifice...he and his signifigant other were putting phone on vibrate and um..calling eachother. And now he couldn't get cell phone out.

Not a nurse or anything like that but my friend's father once had her put on a psych ward when she was 16 because he and his wife read her diary and found out she had sex with her boyfriend.

How long ago was this? There was once a time when you could just drive up to some psych wards, say, "I want this person admitted" and walk away even if the person had nothing wrong with them.

If it was more recent, there may have been more to the story, suicidal behavior being the most likely.

Specializes in Emergency Nursing, Clinic Nursing.

I had a gentleman come in because he didn't have a bowel movement the day before and he felt like he had to have a bowel movement. I asked him how often he usually had BMs had he said every other day. . . the doctor ordered an enema. I came in to give the enema and the Pt said he didn't need it because he had a BM already. He had it BEFORE the doctor came in. I asked if he told the MD that when he came in examine him. . . . he said "no because he didn't ask me"

YOU ARE HERE FOR CONSTIPATION WHY WOULD THE DOCTOR ASK YOU IF YOU HAD A BM WHILE YOU WERE HERE!

Really!?

Just last night I had a pt brought in by the police for SI via Facebook. An acquaintance of the pt was surfing his Facebook and saw a suicide note post. The pt said it was his girlfriend whom made the posts and he was not at all suicidal. Not only was is the most bizarre CC I've ever seen, it was also the fastest D/C. The doc was in the room all of 1 minute and wrote him up for discharge, the guy was very embarrased and made us call the cop who brought him in for a ride home...next thing you know they will be putting Facebook in the textbooks. LOL

Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.
Several Weeks ago---

A gentleman, in his mid 60's...

-Constipated for several days

-decided to attempt to disimpact himself....... wait for it......

WITH A VIBRATOR.

-the vibrator got stuck.

bwahahahaha.

another good one from a couple weeks back--- (i didn't have this patient, but i just saw the general complaint come up on the waiting screen)

"13 F

Possible worm in lady parts"

what the...

just had a man last night that c/o constipation x 2 days so he attempted to disempact himself with a HANGER! ***** luckily did not perf his bowel, however would not follow instructions to keep the fluid in after a fleets enema and 1min after giving it i see his butt naked self running down the hallway to the bathroom, with a trail of enema dripping out behind him lol. maybe we should add fleets enema to the list of crap we should hand out at the door along w/preg tests, birth control, condoms, and tylenol lol :lol2:

+ Join the Discussion