What we have learned from our patients!!!

stidget99 · Jun 15, 2005

I have learned that the geriatric population are really houdini's when it comes to restraints.

I have learned that old people have the potential to be stronger than the "strong man" (especially when they have a hold of your breast).

I have learned that a drug seekers pain is more important than someone coding. :angryfire

I have learned that not having a clean uniform is a good enough excuse to not come into work....(just ask my manager--that was her excuse time after time).

I have learned to keep my mouth shut when coming within vomiting distance of someone.

I am sure there are more things that I have learned but those are in the forefront of my brain.

NorthER,RN · Jun 15, 2005

I have learned that a call to the doc at 0300 will not get you the same quality of response as one at 1500.

I have learned that when the fan is covered in faeces and the doc has not responded in an appropriate manner (maybe because it is 0300) that the doc will direct the fan away from him/her self (do you think that it might be at the nurse?).

I have learned that no matter how many tattoos and piercings a person might have that stitches and IM's will always elicit whimpers - no matter the skill or level of freezing.

I have learned that a night in ER that does not involve stabbings and drunks and general craziness can revert back to zoo status just by someone saying, "Gee, it sure is QUIET tonight".

I have learned that I work with really great nurses and docs in our little hospital and that no matter what or how many come through the door that we will all do our best - and that is a great thing to know.

Katnip, RN · Jun 15, 2005

I have learned that when those two guys call you on the phone saying they're coming to kill you that you should run to the nearest liquor store, past 3 public phones, the police department, and the fire department.

When you arrive at the closed liquor store, grab the biggest rock you can find and break the window, setting off the alarm. While you're waiting for help (the police) to arrive to save you from those two guys, sit on the curb and drink a fifth of Jack Daniels you liberated from the store to calm your nerves.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jun 15, 2005

i've learned that a pulse oximeter on the member gives a very poor waveform.

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[color=#4b0082]apparently, it is also very uncomfortable.

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[color=#4b0082]and it can be frightening when you awaken in the middle of the night and naturally want to check on the status of your most prized body part, to see it glowing red in the dark!

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ERNURSE4MS · Jun 15, 2005

I have learned that the virgin birth was not an isolated incident, (we have about 4-5 aweek in my rural ER)

I have learned that when you fight with the LAW the LAW will always win.

I have learned that nurses and doctors apparently have no sense of smell because the pt with the BAL of 400 doesn't think we can SMELL the ETOH on his breath.

I have learned that if you have met the CEO or DON of my hospital you apparently think you will get to see the ER doc alot sooner.("I don't care if you have 6 traumas and a code going on, I have a splinter in my toe and if you don't let me see the doctor now I am going to call my good friend Mr.****)

I have learned that it is apparently very easy to loose things( tampons, condoms, money , rings) in a lady parts.

I have learned that a person with frequent chronic pain sx has a very short memory-" Mr.Smith you were here every day this week for a pain shot and Mon you got a RX for lorcets" Mr smith-" No, I wasn't here you must have mistaken me for someone else, I don't have any lorcets thats why I'm here"

I'm sure I could think up more, but thats all for now.

galenight, BSN, RN · Jun 18, 2005

I have learned that sometimes the only thing that keeps some of the patients from sucking the life out of you is a sense of humor.

I have learned that chest pain in a 20 something year old is not necessarily costochondritis, but may actually be an inferior wall MI (seen 2 in the last 6 months).

I have learned that no matter how nice you are and how often you reorient a confused, demented, phychotic and aggressive elderly patient, it will not stop them from lashing out at you (and ineveitably calling you names)

I have learned that docs who have worked in our facility for a mere 3 months think they know more about our protocols than I do, when I've worked there 8+ years.

I have learned not to say the names of the frequent flyers, for they will then arrive forthwith.

I have learned that nursing is both my passion and my achilles heel.

redwinggirlie · Jun 18, 2005

Never say the Q word.

schoona · Jun 19, 2005

I have learned never to ask a Dr to find something even if it is 2 foot away (same often applies to male RN's) male looks or Dr looks equate to the same thing,

I have also learned that while medical staff may be highly intelligent, commonsense often fails them.

I have also learned there are many passive/aggressive ways to get back at medical and allied medical staff when they piss you off!!

I have learned that a call to the doc at 0300 will not get you the same quality of response as one at 1500.
I have learned that when the fan is covered in faeces and the doc has not responded in an appropriate manner (maybe because it is 0300) that the doc will direct the fan away from him/her self (do you think that it might be at the nurse?).
I have learned that no matter how many tattoos and piercings a person might have that stitches and IM's will always elicit whimpers - no matter the skill or level of freezing.
I have learned that a night in ER that does not involve stabbings and drunks and general craziness can revert back to zoo status just by someone saying, "Gee, it sure is QUIET tonight".
I have learned that I work with really great nurses and docs in our little hospital and that no matter what or how many come through the door that we will all do our best - and that is a great thing to know.

mommatrauma, RN · Jun 19, 2005

I have learned that no matter how fraile demented grandma or pop-pop looks...when you go to do the IV or Foley, they have superhuman grip strength...and can move their legs over the side rail and hit your head better than the can-can girls...

I have learned that if a person is schizophrenic and they are hearing voices and you ask them a question, and the "voices" answer...they assume you can also hear the answer...

I have learned that if you are taking medicine for a medical problem and it helps...you no longer have that medical problem...ie Do you have any medical problems? NO. What medicines are you taking? Lisinopril, Metoprolol, HCTZ...etc...I thought you said no medical problems? I don't. Why are you taking blood pressure meds then? I used to have HTN, but now that I take the medicine, I don't have it anymore...

I've learned that just because you have abd pain and vomiting for 2 days, it is no reason for us not to feed you before we do any tests on you.

Charcoal does not make good wall art

People in police custody suddenly need to take every medicine they were ever on, despite not taking it for the last 3 years.

People that come to the ER in police custody for SOB and CP after spending the last 30 minutes running from the cops, have no idea why they were arrested and are sure they got the wrong guy...

Girls that have come in complaining of feeling tired, dizzy, nausous and haven't had a period in 3 months can't possibly be pregnant...(goes along with the immaculate conception rule)

If we treated you for an STD before you were 15, you will be back to see us AT LEAST 3 more times before you turn 18...

wayover20 · Jun 25, 2005

I've learned that our CT bed REALLY DOESN'T hold anyone over 350lbs!

I learned that just because you are independant at home doesn't mean that once you come to the hospital you still know how to wipe your --s.

I now know that if one patient has 4 visitors in a 3 bed ward, the other 2 pts will try to outdo him.

I now know that the provider who cares for you 24/7 and shows up with you in the ED, will now not lift a finger to help the nurse turn you over.

And I surely learned that all those cousins twice removed who don't even recognize you when they see you, will now come crowd the ER to watch you eat your jello.

Dinith88 · Jul 1, 2005

A man came to our ED in the recent past (i do not work there) BUTT naked...and when someone confronted him at the desk he shouted out " You gotta do something about my knee!!"

Does this post belong here?

nursejennie76 · Jul 1, 2005

I have learned that a rash for a year is an emergency. I have also learned that the person who revieled to the world that the words"I'm having chest pain" will get them right in to the ER should be shot. Because you get them all hooked up to everything and they proceed to tell you that they have had this chest pain for 5 years now, and when asked if it was somehow worse today they say no not really.