What we have learned from our patients!!!

mhull · Oct 18, 2004

Come on everyone, lets get this list going. This could be very interesting, and a time to get away from the "bad".

Trauma Columnist · Oct 18, 2004

You are so right about the "two dudes" - however, in my town they are always waiting on a bus to take them to church.

veetach · Oct 25, 2004

definately "2 beers".. all of our drunks have only had 2 beers. Its like they have some club out there and someone has told them that if they only admit to drinking 2 beers then they wont get arrested when they are driving with a BAC of 300...

and those smokers who come in with yellow fingernails and a smokers cough. When they come in with bronchitis symptoms and I ask how much they smoke, they say.... "not much since I have been feeling bad"....ok... how about when you arent feeling bad? well, 2-4 packs per day.

we have those 2 guys here too. well, maybe just one of them. "some guy" who beat the crap out of the guy at the bar. Of course they didnt know each other, he just ran into the other guys fist...

Rena RN 2003, RN · Oct 25, 2004

i've learned that a shampoo bottle does not make a good sex toy.

i've learned that you really shouldn't attempt to beat the hell out of an authority figure that is trying to help you because it will either (a) get you sent directly to jail or (b) get you strapped on an ER gurney in 4 point leather restraints.

i've learned that you really can celebrate new year's eve out of bedpans and urine specimen cups because someone forgot the paper plates and plastic cups.

i've learned to never lie to the cops and doctors about not being the drunk driver in an MVA because the seat belt marks will give you away every time.

allnurses Guide · Oct 25, 2004

Your drunks wear seatbelts?!? :chuckle

veetach · Oct 27, 2004

I have also learned that when you are the only occupant of a single car MVA, its not very likely that the police will buy the story that you were the passenger. :rolleyes:

veetach · Oct 27, 2004

I have also learned that when you are the only occupant of a single car MVA, its not very likely that the police will buy the story that you were the passenger. :rolleyes:

Trauma Columnist · Oct 31, 2004

I forgot the most important thing - beer comes in 40 ouncers! (I don't drink and had no clue until I became an ER nurse!)

Trauma-tizedRN · Nov 4, 2004

Chest pain/SOB

"I only take one Ativan a day....but i'm out" (in ER last week for a fillup)

mhull · Jun 14, 2005

I think we should get this list started up again!!!! I know you guys know some good ones.

grammyr · Jun 15, 2005

Or, " I was mindin my own biddness. I don't know why them two dudes cut me."

"I didn do nuffin"