What have you learned in nursing school that was utter nonsense?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

A nursing friend and I recently discussed what we still learned in nursing school that later proofed to be utter nonsense outright or just became really outdated. I found it quite interesting and was wondering what everyone else remembers?

One of the things I thought of was the myth of your tongue having different taste zones.

Disclaimer: I can't say with 100% certainty, but I believe I was taught this. I do remember paying close attention because my instructors stressed how ICP issues could kill quickly.

Subarachnoid precautions: dim room, pull the shades, absolute quiet, and flat bedrest. Uh...... if someone has ICP issues, one of the things that will harm that pt is to lower the HOB. In fact, raising the HOB is an immediate nursing intervention for high ICP. Besides, if someone is in dire life and death danger from high ICPs, they're going to be intubated, sedated, cooled, and possibly paralyzed.

They also taught us about burr holes as a last resort for high ICPs. I have never ever in 13 yrs, seen a burr hole. I've seen scores (if not hundreds) of craniectomies, but not burr holes.

I've seen burr holes!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Nursing theory all through the BSN and right on through the DNP program I will graduate from May 21st. I have yet in clinicals experienced a time going in to see a patient while thinking "What would Patricia Benner or any of the others do/say yet" I don't see that happening when I practice either.

Love this.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Making a hospital corner isn't actually that important

Can't do it, can ya? :woot:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care and ED.
Broncophony and making the patient say "99" :sarcastic:

This does at least have some bearing in science in that it's supposed to transmit different vibrations that alert you to infiltrates, but I somehow think I'd rather rely on a good stethoscope and a chest xray!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ED, psych.
:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:

This is how nursing theory class made me feel. Our text was endorsed by Deepak Chopra, if that tells you anything. I remember reading some bovine feces about how when the pt's aura connects with the nurse's aura, the Caring Field is established.

One class, the prof brought her divining rods to class. She'd used them to determine where in her backyard the Qi was most favorable to put a labyrinth. She also passed around her aura photos. :confused:

Don't get me started on the Altered Energy Field NDx. How the heck do you write a r/t or an AEB for Altered Energy Field?? How do you even assess an energy field.......bring your diving rods to work???? :sarcastic:

My energy field was apparently (unknowingly) assessed during a yoga class. During the class, the teacher adjusted my position, moved on. Afterwards, she informed me that my sacral chakra was blocked, and that she deemed that I should have sex immediately when I got home to fix that.

She was dead serious.

No, I did not go back to that studio.

Can you imagine being the nurse instead in that scenario: "Well, Ms. Smith, it seems your sacral chakra is blocked ..."

Edited to add: no offense to those who practice Reiki. This was "reiki" performed badly.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OB.
Reality orientation for very demented patients does not work. If the 89-year-old lady thinks it is 1988, and her long-deceased husband is still alive, and Ronald Reagan is the president, it is better to allow her to think these things.

Telling her it is 2016, and her husband's been dead since 1995, and Ronald Reagan's been dead since 2004 is unlikely to be therapeutic or go very well.

That's awful! I graduated in 2008, and luckily had an amazing professor for Elder Care Nursing, who was really at the top of the field in terms of gerontology nursing research. We were taught never to do this, as it will only traumatize the patient.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Disclaimer: This particular teacher was in charge of 1 of the 4 core nursing classes my first semester and fired by my 2nd semester. She was nuts, to put it mildly. The following were submitted as fact by this lovely crazy lady.

1.) Supplements are better than any "lab made" drug. All patients could be taken off of medication, if they would only speak to the correct supplement expert.

2.) Medications -all of them!- we as addictive as street drugs.

3.) Males have wet dreams because, if they didn't, the sperm would keep multiplying and eventually their testicles would explode from the amount of "fluid" inside.

4.) She presented this one as the a theory, ^ these were said as fact- Women began menstruation, not as biologically necessary in order to reproduce, but as a way to determine a worthy mate. ~Stay with me here~: back in "cave people" times it was difficult to determine which cave man was best suited to protect a future family, so women evolved a way to sort this out. Women evolved to shed blood as a way of attracting near by predators in order to see which males could fend of these predators and, thus, be best able to protect any future offspring. :banghead:

I know there were more, but I can't remember any more ridiculousness right now. To paint an accurate picture for you: she was about 5ft, average build, and had a good 8 inches of camel toe every, single day. She also had a favorite red "blazer" with tails, picture a circus ring leader.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Telemetry.
Disclaimer: This particular teacher was in charge of 1 of the 4 core nursing classes my first semester and fired by my 2nd semester. She was nuts, to put it mildly. The following were submitted as fact by this lovely crazy lady.

1.) Supplements are better than any "lab made" drug. All patients could be taken off of medication, if they would only speak to the correct supplement expert.

2.) Medications -all of them!- we as addictive as street drugs.

3.) Males have wet dreams because, if they didn't, the sperm would keep multiplying and eventually their testicles would explode from the amount of "fluid" inside.

4.) She presented this one as the a theory, ^ these were said as fact- Women began menstruation, not as biologically necessary in order to reproduce, but as a way to determine a worthy mate. ~Stay with me here~: back in "cave people" times it was difficult to determine which cave man was best suited to protect a future family, so women evolved a way to sort this out. Women evolved to shed blood as a way of attracting near by predators in order to see which males could fend of these predators and, thus, be best able to protect any future offspring. :banghead:

I know there were more, but I can't remember any more ridiculousness right now. To paint an accurate picture for you: she was about 5ft, average build, and had a good 8 inches of camel toe every, single day. She also had a favorite red "blazer" with tails, picture a circus ring leader.

Wowza. You should have recorded those lectures - would have gone viral.

That's a lot of what the...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU.

I had one who was a "therapeutic touch" practitioner and believed she'd healed someone's DVT or some non-sense. She taught our first semester lecture and I've never had a more worthless class. Thinking back it's clear she wasn't really qualified to teach, she hardly had any experience.

And all the nursing theory and nursing diagnoses.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Oncology.

I will say I've been able to successfully integrate some therapeutic communication techniques without sounding corny and having patients appreciate them. If I sit down with them and put my hand on their shoulder and make eye contact, I can say "Tell me more" and "I can imagine that was very upsetting" and get people to calm down. But WAY too much time was spent on this in school.

I did have one professor that told us you can't reorient an Alzheimer's patient. That's why it's a disease. Instead look for cues in their confusion of what they need or want. Ie, if it's 3am and the patient is insisting it's dinner time, offer a snack. I've ised this successfully sometimes too.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OB.
To paint an accurate picture for you: she was about 5ft, average build, and had a good 8 inches of camel toe every, single day. She also had a favorite red "blazer" with tails, picture a circus ring leader.

Just wow.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Hospice.
Disclaimer: This particular teacher was in charge of 1 of the 4 core nursing classes my first semester and fired by my 2nd semester. She was nuts, to put it mildly. The following were submitted as fact by this lovely crazy lady.

1.) Supplements are better than any "lab made" drug. All patients could be taken off of medication, if they would only speak to the correct supplement expert.

2.) Medications -all of them!- we as addictive as street drugs.

3.) Males have wet dreams because, if they didn't, the sperm would keep multiplying and eventually their testicles would explode from the amount of "fluid" inside.

4.) She presented this one as the a theory, ^ these were said as fact- Women began menstruation, not as biologically necessary in order to reproduce, but as a way to determine a worthy mate. ~Stay with me here~: back in "cave people" times it was difficult to determine which cave man was best suited to protect a future family, so women evolved a way to sort this out. Women evolved to shed blood as a way of attracting near by predators in order to see which males could fend of these predators and, thus, be best able to protect any future offspring. :banghead:

I know there were more, but I can't remember any more ridiculousness right now. To paint an accurate picture for you: she was about 5ft, average build, and had a good 8 inches of camel toe every, single day. She also had a favorite red "blazer" with tails, picture a circus ring leader.

I was actually able to keep a straight face while reading this...until the "camel toe". Then I totally lost it. Laughed until I cried.

Now a restaurant full of strangers thinks I'm clearly insane.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment