I was working a night shift on a tele floor as a new Nurse.
We had this one poor old lady who was confused and was restrained as usual for her safety. She was our designated resident nightmare geri from hell, so she was placed near the Nurse's station.
So we are chilling out at the Nurse's station, chatting and trying to get through another night...
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see our lady in question standing in the dimly lit doorway of her room!
I instantly leap out and run to her. As I approach her, she appears to be falling towards me, so I meet her in a bear hug...my arms around her waste, and her arms around my shoulders.
As I catch the lady, I notice a very strong smell of feces, and I feel something warm on my hands, arms and shoulders...
My fellow heroes come in behind me, and as the lights are turned on, my worst fears are instantly realized.
Yes, I caught the poor old lady with a good old bear hung football catch, but I was also covered in the lady's feces.
As I look at her, she has feces smeared all over her arms and hands... (and even her face!)
Recently, we had a new admit who ended up buying himself a ventilator really quickly because he was not breathing well at all. All during the intubation, and while the physician was dropping a central line, everyone was commenting on how huge and weirdly shaped the patient's nose was. After everyone else left the room, I decided to investigate further and squeezed it. What I found was never-ending whiteheads that smelled like rotting fecal matter, so I deduced pretty quickly that the size of the nose was probably due to a cyst or something right under the surface. No matter how much I squeezed, more pus-like material came out. By the end of the shift, I'd had at least five coworkers in the room squeezing on the patient's nose, because we are all freaks like that on my unit.
"Each was squirming slightly, and had a number of large, shiny swellings upon it, which appeared to be full of liquid.
'Bubotubers,' Professor Sprout told them briskly. 'They need squeezing. You will collect the pus... ...Wear your dragon-hide gloves..."
[...]
"Squeezing the Bubotubers was disgusting, but oddly satisfying. As each swelling popped, a large amount of thick yellowish green liquid burst forth, which smelled strongly of petrol. They caught it in the bottles as Professor Sprout had indicated, and by the end of the lesson collected several pints..."
A couple weeks ago I had an elderly pt hang their bare butt off the side of the gurney and spray me with diarrhea. They had a nasty case of salmonella. I threw that pair of pants away.
The next day I gave everybody who attended that pt a pudding cup of chocolate pudding and they yelled at me about it for three days straight.
A couple weeks ago I had an elderly pt hang their bare butt off the side of the gurney and spray me with diarrhea. They had a nasty case of salmonella. I threw that pair of pants away.
The next day I gave everybody who attended that pt a pudding cup of chocolate pudding and they yelled at me about it for three days straight.
LOL Reminds me of when I was changing my kiddo's diaper (many years ago now!)....held her legs up to wipe and she blasted me, literally from head to toe. I just stood there in shock. My glasses were even covered in yellow sludge!
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
Union-Jack said:
Reminds me of when I was changing my kiddo's diaper (many years ago now!)....held her legs up to wipe and she blasted me, literally from head to toe. I just stood there in shock. My glasses were even covered in yellow sludge!
Specializes in Pediatrics, Community Health, School Health.
FranEMTnurse said:
??
I remember my husband was dressed and about to walk out the door and I asked if he could change my DD's diaper before he left. She was about three weeks old and was screaming bloody murder. He changed her with her bum and legs facing him and as he lifted her legs she had a total poop EXPLOSION. I'm talking like 2 cups of newborn mustardy poop all over his white dress shirt, tie, etc. He was so furious. I was dying laughing and and starts yelling at me "It's not funny" which made me laugh even harder. DD is 9 now and loves that story.
i thought leprosy but knowing nursing homes we figured it could have been that she hadnt been bathed in yrs.
This erks me quote a bit. Been a Nurse over 10 years and 7 years before that I was a STNA. In my 17+ years in medical, all but 2 of those years was me working at a nursing home (those other 2 years i worked for the ohio State correctional system in an ohio State prison as a pharmacy nurse - a med pass to over 800 inmates a day, for each med pass). Anyway, I have NEVER been so offended by a fellow nurse stating a Resident came from a nursing home so probably didn't have a bath for years! I have seen Residents go up to a week with out a bath, but it was THEIR CHOICE! I have NEVER seen a Resident go longer then that with out getting a psych referral from the Dr because obviously there is an issue going on of someone doesn't want to bath for over a week. I'm not saying there aren't places that provide bad care, but it is not the norm. 99.9% of nursing homes provide amazing care, especially with state surveys, mock surveys, elder abuse laws and more. I personally have admitted Residents from hospitals to my facility and the reporting nurse from the hospital actually stayed "they haven't had a bath since they been here so they are going to need one" and I have had people come to us that have been at the hospital for a month or longer! It is common practice for us nurses getting report to ask when last bowel movement was, when last pain pill was, and at least my common practice is to ask when the last bath/shower was and have been told "I don't know, we didn't give them one". So, that statement can be said about ANY facility, but I would NEVER state "we all know how hospitals are so they probably have had a shower in months/years". So, as a PROUD nursing home nurse, I am offended that a fellow nurse would make that statement because in reality, hospitals do the initial treatment, but us nursing homes are the ones who male them better and keep them alive. So, think before you speak and before you put down your FELLOW nurses. SMDH @that one...
Yeah I was quite shocked myself. Being brand new I thought of old people as sweet and harmless. I guess I can be thankful I was shown the truth early. mabey thats why I work in OB too =}
Hahaha... I thought the same thing 17 years ago when I became an STNA! I was an STNA for 7 years and been an LPN for 10 years now... But I thought "they're old and sweet, like my grandma, it'll be easy"! Ha! I learned that was wrong my first week! But, I wouldn't trade my career choice for any other job!
Reminds me of when I was changing my kiddo's diaper (many years ago now!)....held her legs up to wipe and she blasted me, literally from head to toe. I just stood there in shock. My glasses were even covered in yellow sludge!
Yeah, you gotta watch out for those kiddos. They're short order poop factories!
Aquar1us
2 Posts
"Each was squirming slightly, and had a number of large, shiny swellings upon it, which appeared to be full of liquid.
'Bubotubers,' Professor Sprout told them briskly. 'They need squeezing. You will collect the pus... ...Wear your dragon-hide gloves..."
[...]
"Squeezing the Bubotubers was disgusting, but oddly satisfying. As each swelling popped, a large amount of thick yellowish green liquid burst forth, which smelled strongly of petrol. They caught it in the bottles as Professor Sprout had indicated, and by the end of the lesson collected several pints..."
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire