What do I say to rude patients?

[floatRN]

I was curious what some of you would have said in this situation. I had a patient that had very unrealistic demands, was not not happy no matter what I did. I spent all morning calling the doctor and the supervisor etc. trying to please him and get all his complaints addressed. He was rude and insulting to me every time I entered the room, but I continued to be calm and polite to him. He called me stupid to my face and told me I had been f&*&ing up all day. I didn't say anything to him but I kind of wish I did. But then he probably would have just asked to see my supervisor again. I did not make any errors and he did get good care despite how hostile he was to everyone. I was taking the patient downstairs for a test in a wheelchair and his wife was with us. When we got in the elevator, he and his wife started to talk about me as if I wasn't there, talking about how I lied to him and messed everything up and he got terrible care. None of what they were saying was even true. It was the longest elevator ride ever and I felt so uncomfortable being talked about like that. I didn't say anything then either because I just didn't know what to say. I have met alot of rude people in this job but this situation just astounded me. Couldn't they wait until they were alone to talk about me? I would never think of talking about someone right in front of them as if they weren't there. My hands are shaking writing this because the whole thing still has me so upset.

[PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN]

Please take a class in effective communications and limit setting. There is no excuse for abuse be it verbal or physical.

It is in your job description to provide for your patient's healthcare needs. It isn't in your job description to be his verbal punching bag.

Don't let it happen; learn to change YOUR responses so you don't feel bad about YOURSELF.

[showbizrn]

"did i hear a profanity?

i'm sorry. i'm a staff member

and i'm not to be abused.

have a nice day."

and i shut my door.

worked for me.

[christina9779]

You were doing your job... maybe you should've talked to your supervisor and have someone else handle this difficult patient.....

1) You were doing the best you could

2) If he wasn't happy then he's probably mad at the situation he is in

3) He just wanted to blame you for everything.....

4) Personally I would've dumped him down the flight of stairs and said, "Oops my bad":)

5) Don't let it get to you.... I feel the same way when my patients treat me this way......

6) I just go on to do other work and pay them no mind..... why get a heart attack or stroke over these impatient people. They can write all the letters if they want to my manager... as long as no one in the office hears a fight between me and the patients, then alls good

All of us nurses and administration assistant should go on a protest about mean patients. Why do we always have to deal with them especially ones that don't pay us a lot of money to support the clinic and hospitals.

[nurse_diesel]

Some people are just complaining, rude,racist,senile SOBs.There will always be one of those to test your patience.No matter what u do or say or endure they believe being a patient in someone else s care means having your own punching bag on-call 24-7. Yes you can try to sit there and justify it, and try to figure out why they can be so rude, but at the end of the day - do you treat people that way when you're sick?

I doubt it . So why tolerate someone else ? it's not about them, its about you and how much power you give them to ruin your day and your mood. It's not easy, but living well is the best revenge and no one should have to put up with bad manners,rudeness, racism and other such evilness.Nothing annoys angry people more then seing someone else totally unfazed by their escapades of mud-slinging plots and made up complaints to families.Again, not an easy thing to fake.

Don't get mad - get creatively even without getting caught to release your anger or choose to expel that person out of your thoughts, care and attention by getting another assignment. Your time, attention, knowledge and care is simply beneath someone so unappreciative and small. Give your attention to those who deserve it and let management and other nurses deal with a*holes.Chances are they already annoyed a whole line of people before even getting to you

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

and when all else fails, i've said, in a voice absolutely dripping with honey, "well aren't you precious!" usually, it buttons them right up. and when they go to complain to the manager, what are they going to say? that you called them precious?

[PeepnBiscuitsRN]

But in this age of "customer service" oriented hospital care, I would be inclined to believe that if a nurse were to defend herself that he/she would be swiftly terminated. After all, it MUST have been *OUR* fault. We didn't do our "intentional rounding" and ask our patients if they wanted to have a pill shoved down their throat for their boo boo! A happy customer=good PR and good PR= plenty of doh-re-mi to line the pockets of the almighties who have never set one foot on the floor to experience the utter joy of being witness to a 45 year old's regression to an angry, crabby 3 year old because he didn't get his Dilaudid. No no no, by all means, let the patient hit, spit, whine, threaten, and cajole because your higher up's aren't going to have your back. Just keep sticking to that script!

Obviously, I'm jaded these days. I would love to think that if a patient turned nasty on me (and I've had plenty of whiny patients for whom you can do no right) that my managers would stand behind me, but I also know the culture of a major hospital system that has a grand reputation and enjoys tooting their horn at every opportunity.

[tokmom, BSN, RN]

Tait, I'm sorry. You did not deserve to be treated that way.

I usually clam up and do not say a word. I refuse to give them a reaction.

[Good Morning, Gil]

I've dealt with very similar patients before. Don't let it get to you; it's just not worth it. At least most patients are not like that. I take it that you've never worked in retail or some other job like that when you were in high school or college? Customer service jobs help make you immune to that sort of thing. I picture the worst customers I've had to deal with, and then they end up in the hospital, sick. 10 times worse lol.

Stand up for yourself. If an A/Ox4 patient is talking to you like that, tell him/her that it is not appropriate to treat someone that way. You are providing good care for him, and if he would like to address it with your supervisor, he can. That's what I would do. I say, "What exactly are you upset about?" "I'll be glad to address it." "I am doing everything to take good care of you," etc. Then....if nothing works, "Would you like to talk with my supervisor?" If they say yes, then I get the supervisor, and tell my supervisor how disrespectful they've been and all that I have done for said patient already.

[Vespertinas]

Many posters have already said that some patients are just like that. Asking them, "what can I do to make it better" is a rational question that I find most of them DON'T respond constructively to.

My strategies are these:

-When they raise their voice at me, I remind them that I am being respectful to them and I need the same in return. (Otherwise we're not going to get anywhere)

-When they complain I let them but I NEVER make any negative statements about my staff myself.

-I try to make small talk. Sometimes all the patient thinks there is to do in the hospital is complain. They're entirely too focused on their care and identifying problems that if you distract them with some conversation, they remember to be normal. Plus, suddenly you have become a "friend".

-Back to complaining. They can do that all they want but the minute they start picking on ME, I make it clear that we both know that I am being exceptionally kind and attentive and if they lose me as an ally, they won't have many other chances to be treated this well. This only works if you have in fact been exceptionally kind.

-Anticipate their needs. Ask them if they need PRN medications or to be toileted. Keep them updated about your activity so they're not left wondering. This can reassure them that you ARE on top of things and they don't need to be so controlling.

[desireepeach]

I think some people are just rude because they enjoy being evil and being mean. I have had people be rude to me for NO reason. I dont get it.

[DizzyLizzyNurse]

I have been dealing with this myself lately. I try to treat the "good" residents (work in LTC) extra good and do what I have to do for the "bad" ones and then get the hell out of their room lol. One of my residents loves coffee so I brought her some today because she was so sweet and patient and understanding the other day when it was a rough one. My supervisor saw me sneaking in the coffee, asked who it was for. Then he asked about this other patient who is rude and has a rude wife (NOTHING is ever good enough for them), looked at the coffee again, and said, "Wow I wonder if (rude couple) realizes what they are missing out on by being so rude to you?" Haha yes I bribe my nice residents lol!

I have sent this supervisor after this rude couple. He can calm them down in a way I can't. I can take someone who is upset or embarrassed or whatever but I can't take a steady stream of rudeness when I've done everything you want and it still isn't good enough. I'll just spoil my nice residents instead haha.

[Bruce_Wayne, ASN, RN]

Try to get an order for anxiety meds, that will make them care less about trivial things or maybe put them to sleep. Yay.

I'm kidding, maybe.