What is considered abuse by your boss?

allnurses Guide · Mar 4, 2011

Thanks for your advice regarding whistleblower and it being a CCO. I am going to take a look at your link now.
Thanks
Michelle

Whistleblowing policies are always useful,

Just as a cautious warning though, I do worry about how much is posted on the internet. Some of your posts could make you easy to identify by your work colleagues, it's worth bearing that in mind when posting details and descriptions of situations.

86toronado, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2011

I had an abusive boss (in another field) who, among other things called me a dumb b***h in front of a group of my employees. I literally cried every day when I worked there. Finally, when I couldn't take it any more, I waited until a day when he wasn't there (it was a Saturday, go figure that I was the only manager who had to work). I gathered my things, wrote a letter to him, explaining that I wouldn't be back, and enumerating the reasons why. I photocopied the letter, and left one with his boss and mailed one to their corporate office.

Oh, BTW I thought the cell phone camera idea was great and if they'd existed back then, you bet I would have used one on him!

MouseMichelle · Mar 4, 2011

Nah I love my cell phone and yes I could do that but isn't that illegal? To tape without someone knowing? LOL

Michelle

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Mar 4, 2011

my don is known for screaming at her employees. i got it one day for something very very trivial and i had to just walk away from her because i was beginning to see red, and wasn't calm enough to tell her that her yelling is abusive and that when she is calm then i will talk to her like an adult. if i didn't walk away i would've said things that would've got me fired on the spot.
that was the best thing to do at the time.
is getting text messages about me having to come to a mandatory meeting even though i had a doc's appointment that i waited over three months for because "we don't ask much of you and you're like a child not coming to them", threatened with termination so i had to cancel that appointment and come in?[color=rgb(139, 0, 0)]
you said "them," was there more than one time offered? i would not skip a medical appt the first time, but i would be there for the second offered meeting. if i absolutely stuck i'd email back the times i was free for the next week so they could schedule the meeting around my availability. there has to be some give and take.
is being yelled at because i had issues with my heart and had to call off 30 minutes prior to my shift (and trust me i did not want to do that at all) and then being told "whatever" and hanging up considered abuse?[color=rgb(139, 0, 0)][color=rgb(139, 0, 0)][color=rgb(139, 0, 0)]
if i had to call off 30 min prior i would not give a reason, just that it was absolutely necessary. and i would stand my ground. i might offer to bring in a physician's note, but only if i'd had absentee issues in the past.
have any of you been abused by your boss/director/don? and did you ever do anything about it? [color=rgb(139, 0, 0)]
yes, and i left the job as soon as i had a new one.
michelle

if you are a competent, dependable, hard worker you should get another job, no problem. if you have issues that are leading to the conflicts you talk about i think asking for counselling via employee health might be a good idea.

cebollita · Mar 4, 2011

I remember you posted about another problem you had with her recently. Too bad you and the other nurses can't stage a coup d'etat.

Seriously, I'd just be on the look-out for another job, as much as possible. And if finding one in your town is a problem, I'm sure a commute wouldn't be that bad if you had a mentally stable DON to work for.

I once had a job where the boss was a BIGGGGG woman (I'm 5'7 and she towered over me, literally, and was at least 3 times my weight!!!) who would grab my wrists and jerk me around like a rag doll, and come up to me and stare in my face like 2 inches away from the tip of my nose. I tried complaning about it, but the only person working in the office that day just yelled at me. At the time I was really poor and had to resort to working in a factory to make ends meet, so I just had to quit and report her to the office, when the other people where there. ANYWAY, after I quit I found a job at a decent arts and crafts store, so there is ALWAYS hope for something better out there for you.

Seriously, the amount of mentally-stable bosses to crazy bi!ches is in favor of the mentally-stable ones!

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2011

Start looking for another job before you quit and she starts blackballing you around town.

Next episode, I would tape her on my cell phone. Might not hold up in the court, but a good bit of these type of bullies back down when they find out they were taped etc.

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2011

I have found that DONs who resort to yelling and threatening are complete imbeciles who are stressed out because they can't possibly keep up with the tasks that they must deliver. THEIR problem, not yours.

I would absolutely move on if you can. Are you looking around? Good luck to you. Nobody should have to deal with this. Hopefully one day, it will come to light and this jackwagon will get fired.

MouseMichelle · Mar 4, 2011

I have found that DONs who resort to yelling and threatening are complete imbeciles who are stressed out because they can't possibly keep up with the tasks that they must deliver. THEIR problem, not yours.
I would absolutely move on if you can. Are you looking around? Good luck to you. Nobody should have to deal with this. Hopefully one day, it will come to light and this jackwagon will get fired.

I hope so too. And yes she's bitten off way more than she can chew. It's terrible, however I don't care how much stress I'm under I never ever disrespect my CNA's, I'm their boss and I have never disrespected them. If I have an issue with them I tell them but in a way that they know it's just work and not about them. If someone calls off I don't freak out and sigh and go oh my god why did you wait so long, knowing that I'll most likely have to stay over for four hours b/c my lovely DON wouldn't help out, which is crazy because by 6am I'm dead tired. I instead say okay well really I hope you get better and take care and if you feel better lemme know because you know what you know who is like.

I'm hoping that while I'm looking for a job (and I've already left a message with one potential job) that she quits and maybe a better DOn will start. who knows. But regardless from now on if my DON talks down to me, or yells, or talks to me like I'm 10 I'm sticking up for myself whether or not I get fired, I'm not putting up with that. My father's a lawyer if I do get fired because I ask her calmly not to yell at me, he'll help me write a legaleeze letter that may scare the crap out of her.

Scrubby · Mar 4, 2011

If you want to scare your boss a bit I suggest next time they yell at you to pretend your having issue with your heart. Say something like 'the doctors warned me this might happen if I'm put in a stressful situation'.

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2011

If you want to scare your boss a bit I suggest next time they yell at you to pretend your having issue with your heart. Say something like 'the doctors warned me this might happen if I'm put in a stressful situation'.

Scrubby, you make me laugh, honey!

Scrubby · Mar 4, 2011

Scrubby, you make me laugh, honey!

It might just take this sort of pantomine for this boss to realise the effect his/her behaviour is having on people.

MouseMichelle · Mar 4, 2011

It might just take this sort of pantomine for this boss to realise the effect his/her behaviour is having on people.

That's funny and very true in fact if I feel my heart pounding because of her I will tell her to take my BPM and then say it's her that's doing it and to leave me alone hahahahah