Weird pt complaints

[at your cervix]

OK , I'll start. Last night I had a post partum patient tell me "I keep passing out in my sleep" could someone please explain this one to me??????? Lets hear some of your strangest pt complaints.

[Flynurse]

I had a husband once ask me to take out his wife's NGtube because, "She's not eating that good."

This is the same man who told me his wife had ammonia in her lungs.

"When you have time, do you think you could get something from 7-11 for me?" Uh...yeah let me get right on that! This is when I worked at the nursing home and the aides would run to 7-11 to get snacks/soda, usually brought ME back a Coke.

[saccharin]

im laughing so hard at all of these. my personal favorite is the one with the baby who suffers from chest pain.

btw, im new. hi :)

[NativeButterfly]

We have a chronic lung child who is often in the hosp for 10 or more days at a time. The other night he was telling me we got a new baby in and he was lucky because he did not have "John the Baptist". I said excuse me, and he repeated it. I asked him what that is, because what I learned about john the baptist, I cannot do anything about putting a head back on a body. He said you know, where the skin is yellow. I did not have the heart to correct him and tell him is was jaundice!!! So cute, I just love him.

[Flynurse]

Originally posted by saccharin

im laughing so hard at all of these. my personal favorite is the one with the baby who suffers from chest pain.

btw, im new. hi :)

Welcome! :)

ATTN: Warning, This site may cause a severe addiction. There is no cure, and you may go blind!

[Stargazer]

Originally posted by Flynurse

There is no cure, and you may go blind!

No, Flynurse, you're thinking of something else.

By the way---stop that!

[Flynurse]

Hey! It got you to smile!

[RainbowzLPN, LPN]

Originally posted by saccharin

im laughing so hard at all of these. my personal favorite is the one with the baby who suffers from chest pain.

btw, im new. hi :)

Welcome to the board, Saccharin!

[liberalrn]

These are a riot! I had a dad once bring in his 4 y/o--tylenol OD. True question: "How come he doesn't have a fever?"

[Flynurse]

Originally posted by Stargazer

No, Flynurse, you're thinking of something else.

Hey, its not my fault people can't stop mass debating around here! Including ME!

Oh...I shouldn't have said that out loud!

[CHICKTOEAGLE]

ok...you guys are definetely certifiable. i'm about to pee my pants and have to swallow my laughter'cause hubby is asleep!!!!!I have one but the joke was on me.Was in my last year of training working in C.C.U. Pt was terminal..no code. all the family...a large one were in the unit.Some were quite elderly and very upset. my instructer told me to stay with an elderly sister in the waiting room for comfort purposes. Sat down next to her..gave the usual BLAH BLAH put my arms around her shoulder and then noticed she was trembling. Got her a large glass of juice ...still trembling. finally, I sort of give her a pep talk and tell to try to calm down and STOP trembling!She looks at me, pauses, takes a deep breath and says calmly"I can't dear. I have PARKINSONS! :kiss :chuckle

[Disablednurse]

Chick, that is too funny!!!!

[LaVorneRN]

My story is more of an experience with the elderly-

I was a CNA helping and 87y.o. man out of the shower and into his P.J. bottoms. He was so sweet(before this) and his daughter happened to be an administrator. He put his arm around my shoulders so I could tie his pants(he had bee sting allergies and arms were swollen) he proceeded to grab my face and attempt to plant a big wet one on me. As I pulled away he pulled me closer stating, "I never kissed a colored woman before." I guess he thought he was a smooth mack daddy but I told him, "and you won't start today!"

I pulled his swollen arms off of me and told him to get in bed as I turned to leave the bathroom. He got in bed and while I gathered the towels and stuff to leave the room he said,"uuhh. You won't tell my wife, will you?" I just looked at this old man in disbelief and left. I went in later when his wife came to visit and he looked terrified like the "other woman" just walked in. I didn't tell his wife or his daughter but I did report it to the charge and nsg supe. They had a hard time holding back the giggles. It was all good. He was harmless and I was not new to this kind of behavior from old white male patients, believe it or not. It bugged me a little in the beginning but it cracks me up when I hear myself tell it. I guess I'm too damn thorough with those showers!