I don't know what to do...my son is 3 weeks into the nursing program at Gordon College, and wants to quit...He's not yet 20, got into the program on the 1st attempt (i've heard of folks on the wait list 4+ years...)...anywhoo...
When I was in school, I ate, slept, and breathed...nursing school. It was either study and pass or lose my home and son (because I wouldn't have been able to provide for us if I didn't pass).
He is not yet 20, but doesn't apply himself (he said he was preparing for his head to toe assessment skills lab, but couldn't find what consisted of patient "history..." he gave me the book and it was on the FIRST PAGE!!!!!)
He just doesn't get it...what a MIRACLE he got in the first try...he has never had to work for excellent grades, but with this he is just not applying himself, and I called him on it...told him he spends all his time playing "warcraft" online instead of studying (he then became defensive..."you don't see what I do at school...") He cut back on work 3 weeks ago so "he could have time to study."
I just don't get it...new grads at my facility start at $20/h...should he succeed, he will be 21 making $20/h with more opportunities for career advancement, and sign on bonuses (I graduated in 1996, and made $12/h...took me 1.5 yrs to get into a hospital job)...
anywhoo...how to motivate a childish son? This is not a test, this is the real world. Is it because he has never had to work for excellent grades???
Yesterday he said "I don't know if I want to do this...I don't know if I have it in me...maybe I should be a doctor or a dentist"; like THAT would be EASIER!!!
Yesterday he said "I don't know if I want to do this...I don't know if I have it in me...maybe I should be a doctor or a dentist"; like THAT would be EASIER!!!
Uhhhh, does son have issues with Nursing being a "female" profession?
Not saying that it's a good thing or a bad thing ... just wondering.
Uhhhh, does son have issues with Nursing being a "female" profession?
Not saying that it's a good thing or a bad thing ... just wondering.
actually, he defends nursing...some of the guys he graduated with (one working at a car dealership, another in the reserves) told him he was getting into "womens work," and he defended the profession...
...out how to solve your problem there are millions of parents, with millions of dollars, all over the world that will hire you to solve the same problem in their home.
Now I know that is not what you want to hear but the fact is it is true. YOU CAN NOT MOTIVATE HIM...did I say that loud enough? Let me try again, YOU CAN NOT MOTIVATE HIM! I am not yelling at you, but with you. My son is 18, bright as a shooting star, but lazy and sloppy and all the things that make us bad students.
While it hurts to watch him flounder, 1) he may really not like nursing school, 2) he may not be mature enough to handle nursing school 3) he may not be ready to handle college at all. He will not "do it" because you want him to and he is to young to know what is the best thing for his future.
My daughter is a senior in high school. She already has applications into 4 or 5 four year nursing programs around New York State. She will do it, becuase it is what she wants to do. She is highly motivated. My son on the other hand, graduated high school and wants to take a year off to "hang out". Both came out of the same womb and were raised by the same parents with the same rules and motivating factors.
So now that I solved all of your problems, how do I motivate my son?
Good luck, let him figure it out on his own. It is ultimately the only way.
dave :)
he is doing better, at least I can SEE him studying now...he came home the day after my original post and said "I can do this..." he just didnt
realize it would be so hard (he has NEVER had to apply himself, and has ALWAYS gotten excellent grades...i.e. freshman year highschool, taking an AP class, spent 2 days on a project and made it to the Intel state finals..that was just WRONG)...
I KNOW you are right, it's HIS life and not MINE, but he is in my house it's just hard to watch...like a car wreck...he is bright, but sloppy and lazy...
in fact, i have been working more just to be out of the house so I dont have to deal with him...I know that I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. he is so immature, he will come to the living room to announce "I KNOW you don't think I study, so I just wanted you to know i'm going to study NOW..." like a 2 year old...he's like a toddler...
Not to discourage you at all but give him his own space!! Sounds stupid but he still has a lot of growing-up to do and he has to do that on his own. I joined the military so that I could go to school.It was one of the hardest and yet the best decision I ever made. I found that discipline and motivation inside myself that I had lost.He will find his way-Do not worry. You have raised him well. Where we shut a door, God opens a window.
Just be happy for him. Tell him to get out in the world, work one of those dead end jobs for a year, live on his own, learn to meet all the obligations that come with it. His views will change on his own very quickly. Mine did. It crsytallized what I wanted and needed to do.
So now, here I am moving into nursing as a second career . I am very happy about my decision and know it will mean sacrifice again on my behalf but the end result is well woth the effort. Hang tough and keep the faith with us and God. He has a plan in mind for your son. :balloons:
...out how to solve your problem there are millions of parents, with millions of dollars, all over the world that will hire you to solve the same problem in their home.
Now I know that is not what you want to hear but the fact is it is true. YOU CAN NOT MOTIVATE HIM...did I say that loud enough? Let me try again, YOU CAN NOT MOTIVATE HIM! I am not yelling at you, but with you. My son is 18, bright as a shooting star, but lazy and sloppy and all the things that make us bad students.
While it hurts to watch him flounder, 1) he may really not like nursing school, 2) he may not be mature enough to handle nursing school 3) he may not be ready to handle college at all. He will not "do it" because you want him to and he is to young to know what is the best thing for his future.
My daughter is a senior in high school. She already has applications into 4 or 5 four year nursing programs around New York State. She will do it, becuase it is what she wants to do. She is highly motivated. My son on the other hand, graduated high school and wants to take a year off to "hang out". Both came out of the same womb and were raised by the same parents with the same rules and motivating factors.
So now that I solved all of your problems, how do I motivate my son?
Good luck, let him figure it out on his own. It is ultimately the only way.
I think the best thing you did for him was shut off the DSL. I don't think it had much to do with nursing school at all! This'll sound weird but coming from an adult gamer, gaming is like a drug, and you get addicted and sucked in. It steals away all your hours and makes gives you great apathy about life!!! Before I returned to college I absolutely totally quit playing and anytime any of my gamer friends say "we miss you!" I tell them thank you, but that I can't come even VISIT because it's like recovering from alchoholism! I just don't need to be around it! I am sure there will be a great many studies done in the future about this all.
My fiancee is currently addicted to World of Warcraft. We joke about it a lot, but he really does spend a lot of time playing. However, I have my own demons and who am I to judge him for what he's doing? At least it's a safe hobby and doesn't cost any extra money (he owns the game and we are paying for cable internet no matter what).
I, myself, have spent many hours playing The Sims in the past. You get sucked into these video game worlds so easily, especially when you create those worlds yourself...
I am a 36yrold former bonehead who is the son of a CNM. She suggested I try nursing way back when. Well, I got out of highschool, went to college on acedemica scholarship and pronptly lost that. Went and fought forest fires for a whle, came back to school and got suspended for a term to to academics. Cooked in a resturant for a bit, went back to school and flunked out all the way and found myself in the army.
Now, at 36, and working full time, i get As. My mom laughs at me and says she wishes i had listened but she is happy that i am getting there, one way or another.
One way or another, your kid will do well and be fine.
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Roy Fokker, BSN, RN
1 Article; 2,011 Posts
Not saying that it's a good thing or a bad thing ... just wondering.