I work in a high risk antepartum unit. On Wednesday night one of the pts was suddenly in excruciating pain. She squeezed my hands so tight, they started to go numb.
A resident came up and examined her but couldn't determine what was causing the pain. They took her to L&D and did a stat c-section. Coming out of anesthesia, she failed the neuro checks. They did a CAT scan and found a large brain bleed. She went to ICU and yesterday they took her off the vent and she died within 15 minutes. She was 34 yrs old.
I'm in shock. I can't believe she died. She was with us in AP with PROM for almost two months. She was such a sweet lady and a champion knitter. The pile of baby blankets is still in her room. She is survived by her husband, several young children and her newborn baby.
The doctors have said there was nothing that could have done to prevent this, but I can't help thinking about that night and wondering if there was anything I could have done differently.
I am so sad and keep wanting to cry. This is the first pt I have lost who wasn't elderly or terminally ill.
(Laura, let you be comfort in trust knowing that she's safely home.)
I worked at a nursing home and we I had a coworker that I never knew passed (I know this story is way out of line to the topic made by the OP but I wanted to recommend this site).
A website was posted for this individual, and it brought alot of comfort to many. Perhaps, anyone who counsels families could recommend this site that they can create, and it would be a good way to send a message of comfort to the remaining family members. Take a look:
When I was fairly new on L&D, I was inducing a 40yo G2 mom who's daughter was 13. She had beta thalasemia, and had been cleared by cardio for some heart problems. I had her at the beginning of her induction and she had this soft spoken peace about her. I left her at the end of pm's (2315) with an INT and cytotec, not contracting or feeling anything, she was washing her hands and face at the sink, we said goodbye. When I got to work the next day I found out that she had delivered sometime after midnight then while the doc's were repairing her, she was hemorraging, the RN realized that she was not breathing. Of course she only had an INT that had infiltrated and the code went very poorly. She passed a short time after delivery. I cried and cried. But somehow I always felt like she knew in advance how this was going to turn out. I think that thought really helped me get through it. I think that (without sounding too religious, which I'm not) God has a plan for all of us. My thoughts are with you while you deal with your loss.
It's so sad. I feel very bad for you and the family. I hope you can find peace and know what you did was appropriate and very much appreciated by this pt. Her last moments were spent w/ someone who was caring and felt her fear and tried to comfort her. You did all you or anyone could. I think you were meant to be w/ her because you were a great comfort and because although this is painful, in a very important way , it is an important experience for you maybe in some way that won't be apparent for many years to come. Take care of you please!
She was such a sweet lady and a champion knitter. The pile of baby blankets is still in her room.
I think the memorial is a great idea. I would use at least one of the blankets she knitted as a centerpiece to provide "guided" imagery. Perhaps the atttendees could share something about her. It can be very informal. I am certain it will help you and your team with their grieving.
Remember Jesus' quote, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
I work in a high risk antepartum unit. On Wednesday night one of the pts was suddenly in excruciating pain. She squeezed my hands so tight, they started to go numb.
A resident came up and examined her but couldn't determine what was causing the pain. They took her to L&D and did a stat c-section. Coming out of anesthesia, she failed the neuro checks. They did a CAT scan and found a large brain bleed. She went to ICU and yesterday they took her off the vent and she died within 15 minutes. She was 34 yrs old.
I'm in shock. I can't believe she died. She was with us in AP with PROM for almost two months. She was such a sweet lady and a champion knitter. The pile of baby blankets is still in her room. She is survived by her husband, several young children and her newborn baby.
The doctors have said there was nothing that could have done to prevent this, but I can't help thinking about that night and wondering if there was anything I could have done differently.
I am so sad and keep wanting to cry. This is the first pt I have lost who wasn't elderly or terminally ill.[/QU
I am so sorry. Sometimes things happen we dont have any control over ( yes us nurses who, want to make everything better, thats just the nature of us)
I am a new grad, I have never lose a pt (yet), but thats my biggest fear. If you feel like crying, just cry. Maybe you need to mourn a little and thats okay. I think thats normal, especially since this mom was young with a family. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BE WITH YOU.
I can't help but respond to the post about the lady who wanted to go to nursing school but got pregnant,so she put it off.and is now debating on when she should go thru with it .I don't know how anyone can do this with little ones.it's very hard to study i'm assuming you want to pass with good grades and you have to really study alot cause nursing ain't no joke ,it can get hard.I have three kids 12,6,3 years and i'm still debating if i will ever get the opportunity to go to school to be an lvn.kids wear you out mentally and physically.I'm not getting any younger either.
I would just say don't fight the tears. They are there for a reason. You are a caring compassionate and special person. Exactly the type of person that young lady needed to have for her nurse. She is in Heaven looking down on you. She is your angel....My prayers are with her family and also for you. I hope your unit arranges a debriefing of sorts..We call them grief debriefs..It helps to talk about your feelings with others who feel your pain but may approach it in a different manner.
I think time will help... and hopefully knowing you have so much support. There must be a reason - one day we will all understand all those things that have made no sense in life. Keep doing what you are doing, find a way to reach out to your other patients. Be kind to yourself, cry when you need to. You will heal.
Everyone thinks that OB is such a happy place to work, but when there is a bad day it is so very bad.
Cry, it helps. Scream, that helps too.
One night when I was still a new grad. The ED called, they had a 28 week pregnant full arrest carrying twins. We grabbed our supplies and ran. We got to the ED and found a surgery res. doing a salvage c-section. They delivered the babies. We managed to get a heart beat back on one of the babies. The other baby and mom were gone. The father turned off the life support on the other baby after she seized nonstop for 8 hours in order to bury them all together.
The true kicker in this story was that a week before the Mom had a bad dream and planned her and the babies funeral. Talk about feeling of impending doom. Autopsy showed a PE. An unfortunate thing no one could do anything about.
I have since gone on the work in the ED. Our hospital no longer has OB services. Since I have OB experience, I get everything OB related that walks in the doors. I helped deliver a 28 week IUFD. No prenatal care. Smelled like alcohol. I cleaned up the baby, walked into an empty room, and bawled my eyes out.
Dalzac, LPN, LVN, RN
697 Posts
That is a wonderful site my son died unexpectedly last March and his legacy is on that site as well