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Discussion

Verbal Abuse

Hey all, I 've been having a pretty awful week. Some back story, I am a LPN who just recently quit a case with my agency. I work for a pediatric home care agency and been with my case for about a year and a half. Throughout that time I have been verbally abused by the mother and thought maybe I could just stick through it ( complained to the agency plenty of times but tells me to just brush it off)

Yesterday I had to quit, the mother tried to have me write false documentation so that she could win a case against another nurse. I disagreed and continued to call me names such as traitor, selfish, stupid, inexperienced..throwing a temper tantrum and throwing things around.

My question is, is there anyway I can file a report against her? She has a reputation for being evil and has never had a nurse stay for more than 2 years,. **her son is 8** and it's not fair to all of us who work so hard. I am seeing a doctor because now I have anxiety and when start feeling sick thinking about what she had done.

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    • Expert

    I am sorry you are going through this-I have moved your thread to Pt relationship

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    • Expert

    ((HUGS)) I am so sorry you have experienced this but you cannot control other peoples behavior. It makes her immoral but she has done nothing "illegal" really to report. I would let the agency know of her behavior. I would drop the case and avoid her like the plague. I would consider the source about the names she called you. I have to have respect for someone in order for me to be concerned about their opinions.

    Consider the source and move on....there are many evil people in this world and you can't let them affect you.

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    I feel bad you have to deal with this; however, this is no way to report someone just for being evil. This woman sounds like a rotten person--just stay as far away from her as reasonably possible.

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    • Expert

    Unless she has been directly abusing her child, there is not much you can do. If she were involved with abuse, it was your duty to report such behavior when it happened. When we do not like how a client treats us, then we have the option to leave the case. When you report the behavior to the agency and they do nothing, then it is your call to decide how much of this behavior you are going to deal with, before you decide it is better to find a new employer. Unfortunately, almost always, you will find that employers adopt the same kind of attitude. To them, you are expendable. They do not really care about what the client does because the client brings in the money.

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    Sometimes people just stink. I would say something again to the agency, as throwing things and general tantruming is probably not the best to do in front of a child. (Not to mention as this child gets older, they could start mimicking mom--then it will be tough to get any nurse to provide care.)

    Feeling powerless and not in control, yes, parents can act out. and the only thing you can do at this point is to suggest going forward, the agency think about a team meeting, with specifics in a treatment plan on how to deal with Mom and other family dynamics.

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    I personally would fill out an incident report. It was an unusual incident resulting in potential harm--if mom was throwing things around. It also sounds as if she caused actual harm by causing you anxiety.

    Incident reports, when I did home care, were encouraged to be completed for unusual incidents or threats of safety whether they resulted in any harm or not. By reviewing the report, management can create a plan so this does not keep happening. It also leaves a paper trail which management can't continue to ignore.

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    • Expert

    I would certainly document (and complete an occurrence report) that the mother wanted you to falsify documentation to benefit her in a lawsuit against another nurse, using direct quotes from the mother (and plenty of 'em!) Then, if the record does end up in court, that information will be there for everyone to see.

    Apart from that, as already noted, there isn't really anything to "report" the mother for. Being nasty isn't a crime (unfortunately). I've worked in psych all my career, and have spent plenty of time being verbally abused. If you don't have the choice of walking away (which, in home health, sounds like one of your choices -- short of quitting my job, that hasn't ever been an option for me), you have to just "take the high road," be a professional, and keep reminding yourself that the mother's behavior is a reflection of her, not you. "Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt you" (unless you let them hurt you. :))

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