So I dont know if I really expect anyone to listen to this or not, but I just need to vent to get some things off my chest...
3 years ago I moved to another state (Iowa) to attend nursing school (wait list in my hometown of Minneapolis was 2-3 years for all schools and I didn't want to wait). I had been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years at that point, but we decided it was worth it for me to pursue my nursing aspirations and do a long distance relationship for 2 years, then return home. Nursing is a second career for me, so I was 27 when I started nursing school.
At the time, I had no idea what would happen with the economy, and unemployment and things. Once I graduated from school in May 2010, the hiring market looked pretty dire for new grad nurses. Thankfully during school, I worked as a tech on a med/surg floor and they offered me a position right out of school. I tried for a few months finding employment back in Minnesota (while working as a tech still), then finally gave in and accepted the job in Iowa. I figured I could get this "one year of experience" that pretty much all jobs seemed to require, and then I could finally return home.
Well, here I am still in Iowa with my life completely on hold, unable to get hired still. I am almost 31 years old. I am now engaged to my boyfriend, who in the meantime has bought a house waiting for me to move up there and start my life with him. I cannot marry him from another state, or plan a wedding, I cannot start a family, and I have tons of student loan debt which I can't afford to pay on my wage (Iowa is one of the lowest paying states for RNs) plus my rent. My loans are on forbearance right now. I feel hopeless and stalled out. I feel alone and isolated. My entire family is in Minnesota. And I feel I'm slowly running out of time to have children and become financially stable.
I never planned on moving away for so long, and while sometimes I feel selfish for complaining (at least I have a nursing job), I'm still depressed about how things have turned out. I miss my future husband, I miss my family and it's just getting to be too much.
I had an interview FINALLY for a job about 30 minutes outside of Minneapolis, and was just informed yesterday that that unit will most likely be putting off hiring for right now. The interview went well, and I really started to get my hopes up, and now I feel extremely disappointed.
I guess that's it. Vent over. Maybe someone out there can relate....
You may not be able to get into a hospital position in Minn. but LTC, home health, hospice, agency would most likely hire you. LIFE IS TOO SHORT to be putting more time between you and your family and future spouse. Get you Minn. license if you haven't already - you are more likely to get hired living in the area anyway. Give your 2 wk notice and GO. You WILL regret it one day if you don't. There is NO WAY I would stay away from family any longer than I had to...mine are gone now so when I tell you time in the one things you can NOT get back and the biggest regret you will have is time wasted. GO!
My cousin and her new hubby are long distance newlyweds. It sucks but they are both professors and had to get jobs where they could. They do a lot of Skype and visit as much as possible (meeting in the middle a lot of the time). You are lucky to have such a great guy!!
Stop paying rent, move home into your fiance's house and start planning a wedding and looking for another job. This guy obviously loves you, eventually you will earn money. Look at the big picture. Do you want one child or two or three? I waited til I was almost 35 to have my first and only child, but I would have started sooner if I had been married at a younger age. I would get moving with the family and just look for a job in the meantime.
I appreciate all your input so much. I know it need to leave, and I feel like now is the time. But not having a job lined up, and not having a paycheck scares me a ton! Thanks for listening too. I feel a little better since my rant, and it helps knowing people listen and care, even total strangers :)
I promise you this; It will be easier for you to find another nursing job than it will be to find a man who loves you enough for the relationship to survive through nursing school and long distance for this many years.
If you want to start a family, it's best to start it with someone who has staying power. It sucks to be a single mom and raising childred on one income - just sayin'.
Um. Leave already???!!!! Seriously, exactly what little thing is holding you up again? A NURSING JOB? Nursing job...wonderful man.....nursing job.....wonderful man......hmm? This is not too much of a dilemma for me but you must be more financially conscientious I guess because I would just be outta there on a wing and a prayer.
P.S. Ok if you can't bring yourself to leave at this very moment (like I would do) why don't you set a deadline atleast? If nothing comes available within the next 2-3 mos. leave. Who is to say that it won't take another year to find a job in MN and you will have wasted all that time away from your fiance'!!! Life is way too short sweetheart....way too short.
As an old dude with nursing as a second career I gotta tell you I agree with most of the other posters, go with the good thing. My regrets in life are about missed family times, not missed career ops. If your man can support you until you can get work, go do the family thing. If he can't support you, you can take other work until you can get nursing lined out. Anyway it goes, times awastin - go make a family!!!
Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.
Give notice and quit your job and move in with your boyfriend. You will eventually find some job if you work hard at it. Life is too short to miss out on all this. Also, once you live there it will be easier to find a job.
Sometimes you have to take reasonable chances........
It sounds like the consensus is clear! Go find your happy place! A job will follow. Hugs to you, I also moved out of state for a job and it is a lonely place to be. Go home! Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith. Just make sure you leave your current job on good terms with good references. I am sure when interviewing they will see your bravery and determination having moved away to get school done. You have done everything right so far. Keep moving forward, never stop to stand still and put your life on hold.
Go move in with your boyfriend. He can continue to pay for the house bills while you are job hunting. You can get a non nursing part time job while looking for a RN job. You will find a nursing job eventually. Life is too short to not be happy!
Marshall1
1,042 Posts
You may not be able to get into a hospital position in Minn. but LTC, home health, hospice, agency would most likely hire you. LIFE IS TOO SHORT to be putting more time between you and your family and future spouse. Get you Minn. license if you haven't already - you are more likely to get hired living in the area anyway. Give your 2 wk notice and GO. You WILL regret it one day if you don't. There is NO WAY I would stay away from family any longer than I had to...mine are gone now so when I tell you time in the one things you can NOT get back and the biggest regret you will have is time wasted. GO!