Well, I thought I was doing ok. I thought the only thing I had to work on was time management, which would come with time right? I've been on the NICU less than 4 weeks and I was told this morning I wasn't a good fit. I'm a "very nice person" but my attention to detail isn't good enough right now and it is felt that with time my skills will be good enough...but not right now. Pretty much, I'm a nice person to talk to but I suck as a nurse. I hadn't been written up and as far as I knew from my preceptor I just needed to get used to working with little ones and my time management. My skills were fine. I've been out a few days with a stomach virus, so I get told this over the phone so I didn't have to come in on a off day. Which as of this morning is everyday.
I thought I was doing ok, I had gotten three arterial sticks, two IV starts (actually got one of those), and got to actually hold a feed two little ones last week. Now I find that I am not a good enough fit for them and honestly from my perspective this come out of the blue. No warning that I was doing that poorly. I know my preceptor had to repeat herself on certain things, but I think I'd eventually get it the more I did it.
I am supposed to take my boards next wed. Being told in a nutshell that your skills are lacking as a nurse, that your "really a sweet person" doesn't do much for my confidence.
I'm angry, hurt, humiliated, and wondering if I shouldn't just give up on being an RN since the first job I get doesn't think me much of a nurse anyway.
What I don't understand is why, if I had so many deficiencies, didn't they give me the chance to know about them and fix them?
I still want to work NICU, I actually enjoyed going to work...something that hasn't happened in a very long time. So what do I do now????
Letting you go after only 4 weeks was ridiculous. 100%, ridiculous. NICU is a different animal altogether, as you know, and at 4 weeks you are still trying to remember to do everything right must less doing them as efficiently as someone who has been there for years.
What I was trying to say (and did so poorly), was that if this is the level of expectation to be an expert by week 4 (and I'm being sarcastic here), then the rest of us are doomed....that also aspire, like me, to work in the NICU b/c no way could I learn everything in only 4 weeks!
In other words...you got a raw deal and the rest of us can see that.
I would never suggest you not seek a career in the NICU because of this whacked out experience.
I guess I did misunderstand, easy to do. I am definately NOT going to give up looking for a NICU position. I wouldn't mind level 2 if I can find one, even mother/baby to get used to taking care of little ones. I'm just hoping it doesn't take another 6 months of applying everywhere/anywhere to get another job.
Hi, my name is Laura and I SUCKED!!! with a capital *S* when I first started. I overheard one of my preceptors saying "She's really struggling!" Nice.
Luckily, once on my own, I got to start with pretty easy babies and worked my way up. 8 years later, I think I'm a pretty darned good NICU nurse, though i do occasionally have my duh moments, we all do.
Anyway, take heart. It's a steep learning curve. I learned so much more off orientation. And there are always people to ask if you don't know something. I know the more experienced nurses in my unit were always very helpful if you asked "How would you do this?" Well, most of them.:wink2:
It seems to me from that from the fact that someone complained about your hygiene and from Ernie's post singing the virtues of the unit and everyone on it (who presumably are looking over her shoulder as she types :uhoh21:) that perhaps 'not a good fit' means 'not a good fit with whichever clique happened to have the ear of the NM'.
I have read this thread with interest and have never known quite what to say about it.
Zoo, it sounds like you somehow stepped on the toes of someone in the 'in' crowd. I am saying this based on what I have read from both you and your ex-coworker. I remember when you got your job how excited you were, you wanted to learn and read before you even started. I am sorry that your first nursing experience turned out so poorly. This is unfortunately sometimes part of the culture of nursing. It sounds like your former unit has some insecure nurses on it, in order for them to be good enough, there has to be someone not up to par. You were their topic for 4 weeks. The other new grad from your unit who posted most likely did so to guarantee her place with the lynch mob. I am sure she wrote it with people peering over her shoulder, and I am sure that she and others check these boards when they get a chance to see what people are saying. It's middle school all over again, it is the same antics I watch my daughter and her other 7th grade friends go through. In children, it is a way of growing up and learning, in adults it is just plain silly.
You need to brush this off and move forward. I'm not sure I would even stay at the same hospital, there will always be someone who knows someone from a different unit and after everything that has been discussed here, you will be a target. Don't let your coworkers or admin bully you into thinking you did something wrong by posting here. You have never identified yourself or which hospital you worked at. This is an anonymous forum.
I am trying to decide whether or not to keep trying for NICU because I'll have to apply out of state to do so. I'm not against moving to get the kind of position where I want to work, and I'm trying to research ones with a decent orientation....which is somewhat hard to do.
I'm very grateful for the support and encouragment I've found here. I'm really not holding my breath finding another job within that hospital or even the hospital system as I have to list that job on my resume with them.
Its been a very emotional couple of weeks. I big low and huge high all in a weeks time.
Specializes in Pediatric Psychiatry, Home Health VNA.
I am trying to decide whether or not to keep trying for NICU because I'll have to apply out of state to do so. I'm not against moving to get the kind of position where I want to work, and I'm trying to research ones with a decent orientation....which is somewhat hard to do.
I'm very grateful for the support and encouragment I've found here. I'm really not holding my breath finding another job within that hospital or even the hospital system as I have to list that job on my resume with them.
Its been a very emotional couple of weeks. I big low and huge high all in a weeks time.
Zoobyli, look into Johns Hopkins and UCLA. Both are accepting new grads into their NICU right now and they both have a fantastic new grad program. You'll see some of the sickest babies in the WORLD at Johns Hopkins.
Its been an long, interesting journey so far.
WildcatFanRN, BSN, RN
913 Posts
I guess I did misunderstand, easy to do. I am definately NOT going to give up looking for a NICU position. I wouldn't mind level 2 if I can find one, even mother/baby to get used to taking care of little ones. I'm just hoping it doesn't take another 6 months of applying everywhere/anywhere to get another job.