VENT.....this really sucks
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Well, I thought I was doing ok. I thought the only thing I had to work on was time management, which would come with time right? I've been on the NICU less than 4 weeks and I was told this morning I wasn't a good fit. I'm a "very nice person" but my attention to detail isn't good enough right now and it is felt that with time my skills will be good enough...but not right now. Pretty much, I'm a nice person to talk to but I suck as a nurse. I hadn't been written up and as far as I knew from my preceptor I just needed to get used to working with little ones and my time management. My skills were fine. I've been out a few days with a stomach virus, so I get told this over the phone so I didn't have to come in on a off day. Which as of this morning is everyday.
I thought I was doing ok, I had gotten three arterial sticks, two IV starts (actually got one of those), and got to actually hold a feed two little ones last week. Now I find that I am not a good enough fit for them and honestly from my perspective this come out of the blue. No warning that I was doing that poorly. I know my preceptor had to repeat herself on certain things, but I think I'd eventually get it the more I did it.
I am supposed to take my boards next wed. Being told in a nutshell that your skills are lacking as a nurse, that your "really a sweet person" doesn't do much for my confidence.
I'm angry, hurt, humiliated, and wondering if I shouldn't just give up on being an RN since the first job I get doesn't think me much of a nurse anyway.
What I don't understand is why, if I had so many deficiencies, didn't they give me the chance to know about them and fix them?
I still want to work NICU, I actually enjoyed going to work...something that hasn't happened in a very long time. So what do I do now????