Vent: On Jumping to Conclusions

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

To those of you who consider yourselves quick on the uptake, the downside is that you make snap judgments.

Some of those are right on, some are completely baseless.

Happened to me the other night. I was waiting for Respiratory on a patient.

While I waited, I pulled up a couple of labs and tried to print them for the doc coming to see said patient.

I later overheard "I can't believe she was playing with the computer while her patient needed a respiratory treatment."

Uhhhh...no, that is not what was going on.

Someone made a comment without having the facts and obviously didn't have the guts to approach me about it, just started gossiping about me.:angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire

Yes, I'm still hot.

I'm still not sure if I'm madder because the person totally misinterpreted what was going on and then spread the false report when I was supposedly out of earshot, or whether I'm madder at myself for not jumping up from my spot and confronting her head-on at the moment it happened.

Can't stand the gossipers and the drama queens, I really can't. :trout:

Thanks for listening.

I'm sure there's a lesson in this for all of us. To the people who would say such things, :trout:

To those of us who hear and repeat such things, :trout::trout:

And to those of us who leave units that are rife with that kind of abuse, I'm happy to join you.:cheers:

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Angie, that's a terrible rumor to spread about someone. That is so wrong.

You should take this as a lesson learned, look deep inside yourself and ask "why did I allow this rumor to start without nipping it in the bud then and there".

[EmerNurse, BSN, RN]

You can try a little humor too - "You mean there are GAMES we can play on the computer?? Darn it! I was just printing stupid old labs for the doc!"

Said loudly and with a cheery smile will wipe that rumor-mongering smirk off of their face.

Ok I'm a sarcastic Italian from Philly - wadyawant?

[ceecel.dee, MSN, RN]

Were do these people get the time to watch what anyone else is doing with their time?!?

[Jules A, MSN]

I'm sorry this happened to you but glad you shared it with us. It gave me something to ponder.

[TrudyRN]

You can try a little humor too - "You mean there are GAMES we can play on the computer?? Darn it! I was just printing stupid old labs for the doc!"

Said loudly and with a cheery smile will wipe that rumor-mongering smirk off of their face.

:lol2: :yeahthat: :yeahthat: :yeahthat: :yelclap: :yelclap: :yeah:

[TrudyRN]

My boss does this. She makes these snap decisions and is wrong as often as not. The really bad thing with her is that she never changes her mind and never admits she was wrong. She is very egocentric and always has to be right. Then, of course, she has her favorites and her out-of-favor group. So an event for 1 person is cause for teaching and coaching, but for another person it is grounds for disciplinary action, firing.

So far, I'm in the latter group, I think. Very stressful. I need to make some changes soon. Any words of help and encouragement would be tremendously appreciated. :uhoh21:

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

Angie, that's a terrible rumor to spread about someone. That is so wrong.

You should take this as a lesson learned, look deep inside yourself and ask "why did I allow this rumor to start without nipping it in the bud then and there".

I believe I was trying to do catch-up charting with my other patients in the back, where no one realized I was there.

It actually took me a minute to realize that they were talking about me, and then I thought, well, I don't want to embarrass the 2 of them by just popping out like I overheard them; I'll just pretend it didn't happen.

And I just had this thought, which is the key to why I didn't say anything:

Because if I say something, I'm afraid I'll get angry, and I really haven't got the time to waste getting angry and making things worse right now.

Next thing I know, the whole staff is buzzing with it like I withheld or delayed treatment on a critical patient.

The truth is exactly the opposite. RT told me that Patient would have to wait, but I managed to find someone to start treatment before RT arrived.

So I guess that's why I didn't nip it in the bud--I was afraid that it'd just get worse.

Believe me, this little viper pit will target someone else tomorrow and I think it'll all get forgotten by the end of the week.

But please take note, all you who are tempted to join in this behavior--I'm leaving this unit, and this is one reason why.

Won't be soon enough for me, either.

[gitterbug]

Hello Angie,

I know from experience the anger you experienced. Just remember when you go to the other unit, gossip travels faster than the truth, so please, find a way to nip this type of talk in the bud. I agree that humor may be the way to confront these lies at first, if that does not do the job, lose that temper and let them know, they have their own jobs to do and should not have the time to be watching your every move. I would be willing to bet the ones starting the rumors are the very ones who NEVER assist another nurse when she has a patient in real distress. This is just another reason why so many nurses are looking for an exit sign.

[gitterbug]

Hi Trudy,

You described my last boss perfectly. So quick to jump to the wrong decision, never an apology when the truth was learned. She will not be missed by so many that have worked and continue to work under her leadership.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I believe I was trying to do catch-up charting with my other patients in the back, where no one realized I was there.

It actually took me a minute to realize that they were talking about me, and then I thought, well, I don't want to embarrass the 2 of them by just popping out like I overheard them; I'll just pretend it didn't happen.

And I just had this thought, which is the key to why I didn't say anything:

Because if I say something, I'm afraid I'll get angry, and I really haven't got the time to waste getting angry and making things worse right now.

Next thing I know, the whole staff is buzzing with it like I withheld or delayed treatment on a critical patient.

The truth is exactly the opposite. RT told me that Patient would have to wait, but I managed to find someone to start treatment before RT arrived.

So I guess that's why I didn't nip it in the bud--I was afraid that it'd just get worse.

Believe me, this little viper pit will target someone else tomorrow and I think it'll all get forgotten by the end of the week.

But please take note, all you who are tempted to join in this behavior--I'm leaving this unit, and this is one reason why.

Won't be soon enough for me, either.

Good luck on your new unit Angie. Can I gently say that's a poor rationalization for not standing up for yourself, even if you are leaning. You lose so much power after the fact. You might have avoided what you said was the next thing. But I agree, you got to know when to hold them.

I was giving report from a float nurse, who just took report from a nurse whose patient arrived 30 minutes prior and she did nothing and couldn't answer any questions by the float nurse. The moment she left the nurse looked at me and went off. I allowed her to vent, but then gently told her "shouldn't you be saying all of this to her?". Her answer was "I didn't want to cause trouble".

Why are we afriad to cause a scene or trouble when we are being wronged?

Anyway, you don't have to answer, because perhaps it really wasn't worth your time to say anything and I'm just a sack of wind you need to ignore.

Again, as I said in my post above. Let it be a learning experience.

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

No actually, thanks, because I didn't get to that little nugget---that I was afraid of losing my temper at work--until you said something.

I do have a temper, but it's like money-- once I lose it, it's really hard to get back.