so upset I could vomit......

[hapeewendy]

I'm not one to complain or moan or gripe all that much

I love nursing,love caring for my patients and have been commended by my co workers, patients and patients family for the nursing care I provide.

however, last nite *I work on a busy med/surg floor* we had a patient, 77 years old, chf, history of MI, atrial fib etc etc, from telem two days ago..

at 2130hrs asks for sleeping medication

and for me to straighten her up for bed, I do just that, end of story

at 2415 or so shes screaming, in chest pain, O2 on the floor, desating etc,my incharge/co worker called RT and the MD stat, they came within five minutes, the patient all the time saying that we arent helping here and we have been ignoring her all night etc etc *the untruths begin here*

situatin gets much worse, urine output non existant, giving lasix left right and center, morphine IV other meds etc, keeping in mind I have 7 other acutely Ill patients and only four other nurses on the entire floor, I do not leave this patient, I am in the room doing q 5-15 minute vitals, BP is super high and then crashes as does

the HR - md paged again, and she was wonderful about spending so much time with this patient-the usual brush off did not occur, the term ICU is mentioned but there are no beds available so we hope she stabilizes and give more meds etc

thankfully round 5am she stabilizes, at 6am I notice she starts to put out some urine, I am truly happy that I have helped this situation so much,one of those really proud great moments

until the patient proceeds to tell her family, her friend, the other pt in the room that I have ignored her all night and didnt want to help her etc.I politely disputed that everything was done and attempted to explain to the pts daughter the timeline of events that occured, pts daughter says her mother wouldnt lie, and while i didnt say she was lying *eventhough she was* i just pointed out that the care was constant and situation acted upon immediately - how could I call the MD stat without any vitals to report to her, i couldnt even get the patient to stop shouting long enough to put an 02 mask on her face, no history of confusion or anything, in that case i wouldnt hold the things she said against her..... i know mean ppl exist all over and she IS ill etc, but I helped in saving her life, and feel so sick to my stomach that she would say this things when all I have ever had in my nurisng career is positive feedback......I feel disheartend and my superior did not support my feelings, she just said "dont take it personally, as long as you chart what you did" its not the charting im worried about - that was done promptly and accurately from the get go

its this feeling I've had since I've gotten home,

I'm crying, feeling belittled , angry, hurt

the whole thing, this has never happened before

if anyone has any great pearls of wisdom to share

i would appreciate it

sorry for yattering but the feelings are so fresh in my mind now its upsetting

[plumrn, BSN, RN]

My story...( hope it helps to know others have had their share of these situations) ... we had a woman who became very confused after big abd. surgery. She was a volunteer at our hospital, so we all knew this was not her usual self. She was so confused she pulled her NG out and almost got her central line out. She kept trying to get up to go home. Even with repeated explanations of why she was there, she did not believe us. She denied having had surgery and said we had kidnapped her. She called her husband at home to tell him how bad we were. He came and stayed with her, but she still had to have wrist restraints to keep her tubes in, and herself in bed. It was one- on- one most of the night to keep her safe.

With the light of day, her confusion left, but her memory of the nights events were still very clouded. She told the doctor and all of her many visitors how awful the nurses were. She exclaimed over and over...

-If they had just told me not to get up, I wouldn't have; and if they had just told me what those tubes were for, and not to pull on them, I would have left them alone. There was no need for them to tie me down.

Even when her husband explained to her how many times we did just that, she refused to believe it. She was upset with us for a long time.

Later on, maybe with the help of her husband, she did realize how confused she had really been, and she really felt bad about it. We were lucky that she volunteered at our hospital, or we may never have known that she 'finally got it right'. I wonder how many people that she told how 'bad' we were, ever heard the real version of what happened.

[aussie oi oi oi]

Dear hapeewendy,

I can associate wiith how you feel, I thought you were talking about me, sounds classic, let em tell you my story, I was doing my last week on an acute cardiac surgical unit the week before I accepted an overseas posting, we had 20 pts on nights btween two RN's, I am relatively new to CT nursing so I was pretty unsure of myself anyway, I had a day one post op with chest pain and ECG changes, an acute MI with further chest pain, a ICC that was draining too much and a MVA that had decreasing GCS so we were in deep @#$%, One pt whe was on the buzzer all night for pillow, water etc she had a hx of regular admissions, a pt that knew what to say to be admitted and she was basically a lonely old lady who got att when she was hospilised. On this horrendous ND I was greeted the next night with a note to say I had to see the DON the next day about a pt complaint. I was informed that the pt had stated that I had ignored her and said that she was not important ( all this while yelling at her), I was luckly that the DON knew me and did not even validate the compliant, but it upset me for weeks as I knew that I had tried so hard to keep on top of things, it is easy to say to forget it, but the best advice is acknowledge your hurt, discuss it with a close friend and don't feel that you have to defend yourself. Your other pts know you and your co workers will as well. If anything comes of it you have your notes and it will probably be only a matter of time before this lady accusses somebody else. And well family would never admit that their loved one is less than perfect.

I am sure that you are a wonderful nurse, keep your head up and your reputation will endure this as well as your emotions. At the end of the day it is not really about you but about pts that don't cope and are looking for sympathy no matter what they have to do to get it.

[hoolahan, ASN, RN]

Here's my story. I was working in CT ICU, came on for days, one of my pt's had been returned to or for a thrombectomy in leg, her original surgery was a fem-pop and she lost pulses post-op. The night nurse was not the most organized person, and the pt was a mess when I got her, I was told the family would be in by 8:30 am. I did quick assessments on my 2 pt's and hauled butt to bath this post-op, changes any dressings, brush her hair, set-up for mouth care etc. Ready by 9am...no family. OK, I was giving her sips of fluids and she was tolerating it, so I ordered a full liquid tray for lunch. Mind you this woman was awake, alert oriented, and in complete control of movement of her arms. For some reason she seemd to thinkI would feed her. I sat her up as high as she could be up, and set-her up to eat. She asked if I would feed her, and I explained that since she was able to feed herself, part of her recovery is to begin to do things for herself.

Well, 15 minutes later the family arrived, the pt proceeds to tell them I refused to feed her. I tell them the same thing I told the pt. They looked down their noses at me and said "a nurse is supposed to be an angel of mercy, not a military sargent!" I was so hurt, I almost burst into tears right then and there. I excused myself, and marched right over to the charge nurse, I was on for 12 hours, and said I don't care how you have to rearrange assignments at 3pm, but I Do NOT want to take care of that pt another minute! And of course I cried. Nancy, why I won't know, decided to speak to them to see what the problem was. When I returned, they acted like they thought I was wonderful and wanted me to stay, but I just politely smiled and said my assignment was being changed.

At 3pm, I was re-assigned to the isolation room. The pt was another mess, dirty, old dressings, nasty trach dressing etc. It was good therapy, I did my assessment, and started a major bath, washed her hair and brushed and braided it, spiffed her up so she looked like she belonged on the cover of critical care nurse magazine (the old covers when they showed pt's and nurses in action). I didn't realize her husband was coming at 6 pm visiting hours. He came quietly into the room, and I followed him in, and he said" My God, she looks so beautiful today!" He asked, Who washed her hair? I said I had a little extra time so I did. I leaned over and kissed my cheek. I swear, I really felt my eyes well up with tears at that. He would never know what that little gesture meant to me, after being told I was not an angel of mercy! It completely erased all my bad feelings, and I think that man charged my nurse battery for another 6 months!

I don't know why the first pt was the way she was, I think she was just one of those people who enjoyed the sick role, and her family played right into that, they played their parts. I take comfort in the fact that I did nothing wrong. Even though I know that, it still hurts to be judged harshly for no "good" reason. Sleep easy, you did the right thing, and if you always do the right thing, you will never have to loose sleep!

[frann]

I have a thank-you note from a pt and his wife that I read when I'm feeling like my nursing battery needs recharging.

It was about 4 or 5 years ago and I was working weekend days and I was busy. You know its 830 am and your trying to stay ahead of every thing. I was going around seeing all my patients real quick like. And I saw this guy, I mean I really saw him. this guy that was a little older than me. we started talking etc, etc. he's trying to eat his breakfast. Right side of body doesn't work( stroke) he smells of urine. hasn't had a decent bath since he has been here. and I think what if that was my family or me. how would I feel. So he got the special treatment that day. I moved him to the bigger room with the shower that he could be wheeled into. It made him feel so much better. He joked he was taking shower with 2 women. His wife helped. I still remember him. I sometimes wonder what happened to him.

Sometimes that's all you need a thankyou note, or a kiss on the cheek.

[hapeewendy]

once again it helps to know that nurses all over the place have been thru similar situations, none of us are exempt from hurtful words etc, but the best thing to do , as I think it was frann and a few others of you also stated is to look on the brighter side of nursing, remember the good stuff

the differences you've made and the peoples lives you've saved - both physically and otherwise

just by being there and "doing your job"

every nurse knows that nursing is more than a job

more like a lifes calling that only the toughest and sometimes most insane of us hear :)

I took out my "nurse box" ,momento's that I've kept from patients and families, thank you notes, xmas gifts, letters, etc.......that in an instant

turned sad tears into happy ones

when it comes to being judged, the most accurate judges of our character are ourselves, that in mind I have had a nice peaceful sleep

*hugs to all*

wendy

[Paprikat]

Sorry to hear about your day. Nursing sometimes is a thankless job and discouraging, especially when you have days like this....

I work in a nursing home and this happens all the time, not the acuity of your situation, but the fact that some residents do one thing and then tell thei families another...ie. one lady has refused her eye drops for a month now and told her family that we refused to give it to her, so needless to say, I happened to be the one who had to deal with her and she was quite rude. I showed her the MAR with the code 1 signed over it (refused). The res. said I was a liar and the daughter believed her. Or the res. that refuses to eat and then phones her family and says we wouldn't feed her. It is very upsetting at times.

Just realize that you are a good nurse and draw strength from the people that give you positive feedback!

Paprikat:D

[RNPD]

houlihan is right-some people just enjoy playing the sick role. Your lady almost died and was probably scared to death. She either couldn't bring herself to tell her family how scared she was, or else they weren't solicitous enough, but saying you did nothing for her all night-thereby implying that you caused her acute chf thru neglect-rallied the family round. THAT was something they could deal with-let's all gang up on the nurse who so neglected Mom that she almost died. We all have stories just like it-you know "same s**t, different day."

People are strange what else can i say? It really hurts when it happens and I've cried my share, but somehow, when you get it out, it makes you stronger.

And remember, only a GOOD nurse would care so much!

PS:HEY, MargaretH! Long time no see!

[JillR]

As I was reading your post, the first thing I thought of was that the person was hypoxic and that tends to change peoples perceptions of reality. You were trying to help this person and getting things done as fast as possible, but I am thinking that to this person it FELT like it took forever. On the other hand it could be that this patient is just LOOKING for something to complain about, as some do. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about what happened, it sounds like you did everything you could, as fast as you could for this patient. Please try to keep that in mind. The best way to cover your butt here is to document the patient's condition before, during and after all of this, and make sure you include her behaviors. It really does sound like her memory may be different from yours due to the hypoxia.

You did a great job, don't beat yourself up.

[carehope]

NURSING, ISNT IT GRAND!!

YOUR A GREAT NURSE:)! GO GIRL!

[Teshiee]

That is so true! Especially when you have given all you got. I remember working in a LTC. One of the nurses was telling me that this certain patient was mean and nasty and refuses care. I hate going by what people say because chances are it is a mere personality conflict. I entered the room identified myself he snapped I just let roll of my neck then I start asking him about his family and his life and we were laughing up a storm. I gave him a very good bed bath, comb his hair and whole 9 yards. When I left he told me that I was a good nurse and wish there were more like me. That brought tears to my eyes because it feels good to know there are people who appreciate us and we shouldn't let the crab apples taint our ability to continue good nursing. Some patients have attention seeking behavior and you just have to over look it. When I know I done my best and family members complain I just pray for them for they no not what they do.

[Mary Kay]

hi I read your letter,and I am new to this and I am new to being in the nursing field I just passed my final to work in a nursing home I have now 4 months to get certifield any in put please.

[aussie oi oi oi]

Dear Mary Kay,

Congratualtions on getting this far, you have a wonderful career ahead of you full of some of the most wonderful yet at times the most challenging times of your life. You will find that you will indeed touch pts lives but they also will touch yours. I have been a RN now for 3 years previous to that I was a nurse aid for 3 years in a nursing home. I love what I do, I love the people I work with but one of the best things about nursing is that while you are a nurse you will unlimited support networks, while nursing can be *****y as times, nurses will also be the first to pick you up when you are down. If you go through this website you will see nurses emailing other nurses who they don't even know to offer support and sympathy, not many other professions will do this.

My best advice to you as a new graduate, don't ever be afraid to ask questions no matter how stupid they seem, we have all been there some of us a bit longer ago than others, buddy up with a more experienced RN, ask her/him to be your resource and support person. I had a wonderful buddy when I started out and she kept my spirits up when the going was tough. Nursing is hard as you are caring for people at the time when they feel most vunerable, all you need is that first smile, the first thank you or that wonderful hug, then you you know it is all worth it

Good Luck, keep us all posted:kiss