so upset I could vomit......

[hapeewendy]

I'm not one to complain or moan or gripe all that much

I love nursing,love caring for my patients and have been commended by my co workers, patients and patients family for the nursing care I provide.

however, last nite *I work on a busy med/surg floor* we had a patient, 77 years old, chf, history of MI, atrial fib etc etc, from telem two days ago..

at 2130hrs asks for sleeping medication

and for me to straighten her up for bed, I do just that, end of story

at 2415 or so shes screaming, in chest pain, O2 on the floor, desating etc,my incharge/co worker called RT and the MD stat, they came within five minutes, the patient all the time saying that we arent helping here and we have been ignoring her all night etc etc *the untruths begin here*

situatin gets much worse, urine output non existant, giving lasix left right and center, morphine IV other meds etc, keeping in mind I have 7 other acutely Ill patients and only four other nurses on the entire floor, I do not leave this patient, I am in the room doing q 5-15 minute vitals, BP is super high and then crashes as does

the HR - md paged again, and she was wonderful about spending so much time with this patient-the usual brush off did not occur, the term ICU is mentioned but there are no beds available so we hope she stabilizes and give more meds etc

thankfully round 5am she stabilizes, at 6am I notice she starts to put out some urine, I am truly happy that I have helped this situation so much,one of those really proud great moments

until the patient proceeds to tell her family, her friend, the other pt in the room that I have ignored her all night and didnt want to help her etc.I politely disputed that everything was done and attempted to explain to the pts daughter the timeline of events that occured, pts daughter says her mother wouldnt lie, and while i didnt say she was lying *eventhough she was* i just pointed out that the care was constant and situation acted upon immediately - how could I call the MD stat without any vitals to report to her, i couldnt even get the patient to stop shouting long enough to put an 02 mask on her face, no history of confusion or anything, in that case i wouldnt hold the things she said against her..... i know mean ppl exist all over and she IS ill etc, but I helped in saving her life, and feel so sick to my stomach that she would say this things when all I have ever had in my nurisng career is positive feedback......I feel disheartend and my superior did not support my feelings, she just said "dont take it personally, as long as you chart what you did" its not the charting im worried about - that was done promptly and accurately from the get go

its this feeling I've had since I've gotten home,

I'm crying, feeling belittled , angry, hurt

the whole thing, this has never happened before

if anyone has any great pearls of wisdom to share

i would appreciate it

sorry for yattering but the feelings are so fresh in my mind now its upsetting

[babynurselsa, RN]

dear wendy, I know how disheartening situations like that can be. One of my most memorable events was the night I was assigned to one of our sicker babies in the unit. 25 weeker who had big GI troubles going on, she was on the ossicator. This was the first baby that these parents had that had survived this far. They were very high maintenence. They had already alienated most of the staff, there were 2 lists, those who refused to take this baby and those who the parents didn't wan't to care for the baby.

I stayed right there all night right on had, made sure anytime this kids monitors alarmed I was immediately at the bedside. They would freak everytime the pulse oxx alarmed. While still trying to take care of my other 2 critical babies. I repeated re-explained to them how a pulse ox works and how it will alarm if it loses it's signal, etc, kept telling them to watch the baby,not the monitor. I also explained to them how detrimental it was to continually be turning the O2 up and down all the time. "See the baby is pink, her sat really can't be 78." Finally when they had me at the point of exhaustion I called the practitioner over to reassure them.. At this time these parents informed us that in their 3 weeks at this bedside they felt like they had come to at least as much understanding of the monitors as any of us had, and if that monitor wasn't reliable 100% of the time well then why use it anyway, and they couldn't understand how I could let their baby desat to 78 for the 15 minutes or so that it would take for her color to change. They also felt that it would be necessary for them to stay at the bedside for the rest of the night so that I would not damage their baby. By mutual wish we decided that I wouldn't be taking care of their little one anymore.

Funny ending to the story later on just before this kid discharged, she was over on a feeder grower row with a nurse tech taking care of her, just across from the row I had that night. The tech goes to lunch and the mom wouln't leave till she came back because she still didn't want me to watch her baby.

My motto is "You can't bond with everyone."

[CEN35]

i have wittnessed first hand, the things that some nurses will do for their patients.

then 5 minutes later when family arrives, they tell them all kinds of lies. everything from, nobody would answer the call light, to i almost urinated in the bed because they woudn't let me up. that's where charting is important, that's the legal document and tells the story the way it is. there are many out there, that beleive their family members don't lie. or those that would beleive, their family members over another, with 30 wittnesses that would say otherwise.

i know it's easier said than done, but blow it off and move on. the chart should say it all.

me :)

[thisnurse]

first off, i have had two patients outright lie about me. i have a clear conscience about the care i give so i am not going to let the lies bother me

anymore.

maybe you should have said to the daughter...your mom is alive isnt she? i must have done SOMETHING right.

as for my story, i am not very proud of this but maybe it can help give some perspective.

i was 20 years old and pregnant with my first child when i was in a car accident. my femur was broken in 3 places and i had multiple other injuries. i spent two months in the hospital in traction, followed by 4 months in a body cast. (yes, while pregnant).

two days before my 21st birthday i gave birth, by csection, to a healthy but light, baby boy. he was

born exactly one month earlier than my due date.

on my 21st birthday i was taken to the OR to have my cast removed and a new one applied. xrays showed that there had been absolutely NO healing of the bone. it was decided that i would be put back in traction and after waiting a week to make sure no infection would set in from the csection, a metal plate was to be screwed into my femur and a piece of my hip bone removed and grafted to the bone.

all i can tell you is that i have NEVER experienced pain like that in all my life. i wanted to die.

when the time came for me to get out of bed, i resisted standing. i knew it was going to be extremely painful. i was sick of the ignorant nurses i had...trust me they were...and i was so damn frustrated because i was so tired of hurting all of the time and so tired of having to rely on others to meet even the simplest needs.

they sent in a new nurse to get me out of bed. i refused again and again but somehow she made me do it.

the pain was HORRIBLE. she was crouched down and holding my foot to the floor. it was the first time it was straight in months. i started having spasms which felt like my knee was being bent and i thought she was doing that.

let me tell you, all of my frustrations came lashing out at her. i screamed at her and called her every foul name i could think of. i threw her out of my room and told her not to come back.

she left the room in tears.i wont ever forget her face as i was screaming at her.

my now ex was standing in the hall and heard all of this. he came into my room and told me that was the most ignorant thing he had ever heard and just couldnt believe how rotten i was to that nurse.

at the time, i could have cared less.

after i settled down i called her in the room and apologized. she graciously accepted.

one of the reasons i became a nurse is to give back some of the great care i got and to make sure some of the crap care i got wasnt repeated. i am not an ignorant person, but if you had asked that nurse what i was like that day, i dont think what she said would be complimentary.

im only telling you this so that you might see that although it looks like only one thing might be going on, it could well be a combination of things. we are very good scapegoats you know.

[Brownms46]

Dear ((((((((((thisnurse)))))))),

I can never imagine how much you had to endure, and I know you must be a very strong woman to have survived intact enough to pursue your goals in joining the ranks of that caring nurse, whom I'm sure was able to understand why you lashed out at her. But your situation and the woman in the initial post was totally different. This lady was no longer in any distress when she lied to her daughter. Yes ...and others who have posted are correct...many times there is more going on then what you can sometimes determine. I know this as I, as I'm sure many others have been in that hospital bed also. I can truely say that I have felt blessed many times by the care I received. And yes I have had to throw someone out of my room...but it wasn't a caregiver...but back to the point.

If I had been through the same things you had...I would have probably still be a basket case. I'm sorry to hear this happened to you, and hope you never in life have to endure anything close to that awful time in your life. But I think the way pts/families sometimes behave have nothing to do with illness...and many times everything to do with....how nurses are perceived by too many who feel they can just walk over us. It also has to do with how in the world today...people are just rude, self absored, and just uncaring about those around them.

This isn't only true in nursing...it's true in many service professions. Ask the waitress who is talked to rudely, or has customers who leave crap all over the table...let thier kids throw stuff on the floor, and never bother to try and pick up the mess they leave, Ask the sales clerk about how people bring their kids in and allow them to throw things around...mess up displays...or have people who even though the annoucement is being played over and over again...people are still trying to shop...totally ignoring the fact that these people want to go home but can't because of them. Or the flight attendent is abused and misued by the public...(remember the one that the guy hit one because his flight was cancelled?) There are some people who are just plain mean...period!

[brdaniel]

Dear Hapeewendy,

I think you are on the mend now, but here's another big hug, anyway! You deserve it for all that you did for that patient and for being the kind of person you are.

Here's a thought that sometimes has helped me when I have wanted to thump someone: it's not the person who is saying those things about you, it is their illness. Have you ever seen how a patient's whole personality can change as they become really ill? They can go from being a really nice person to being a monster. As they start to recover, they revert to their former self and would be highly embarassed if they heard what they had been like earlier. Often it is their fear and insecurity which is talking, too.

I find this in geriatrics, too. Elderly patients can be cantankerous and rude, but often it is their frustration and despair which drives them to act like that, because they know that they will only get worse.

Nurses like us, unfortunately, have to act (figuratively) as their punching bags. It's not fun, but it's part of the job. Colleagues understand, because they have had similar experiences. That's why forums like this are such a great idea.

Here comes another hug!

[hapeewendy]

once again I am proud to call you my fellow nurses!

I'm feeling entirely better about the whole situation, tho still having to see this women isnt pleasant. My co worker had her the other night and she started the whole thing over again, not as mean as she was with me , but the jist of it all was the same..dr thinks she is okay and just kinda

"milking things a little" (direct quote)

who is to say? I wont ever doubt that someone is sick

it helped that the last few nights I had super wonderful patients who I really made a difference with and who felt genuinely happy to have me nurse them

alls well that ends well

sometimes its hard to cope, in those situations we need eachother

Hugs to all

[nursedawn67, LPN]

Yes Hypoxia can cause people to do odd things, but this woman was stabilized and still acting up and lying? I have seen patients do this to get their family to come around. and I have seen other staff members do this too, just for attention. I had a lady who complained of CP, I was at lunch and the other nurse on duty assessed the resident. It was determined that the resident had gas, vs were good, resident used bathroom felt much better and proceeded to go to bed and sleep. I continued to check on her and monitor her, with nothing unusual for her going on. Just as I'm reporting off to the day nurse the aides yell for us to come down and check on her, the aides then proceed to tell the day nurse that this resident has had chest pain all night and that we have ignored her. The day nurse believed what I told her as these aides were known to exagerate alot. But it made me feel bad, what if the wrong person had heard that? I charted everything that was done and observed that night.