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Unsure in my first semester

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I'm in my first semester of nursing school and I'm not sure if I want to do this anymore. I'm going to go ahead and finish this semester, but I don't think I want to be a nurse anymore even though I've thought about it all my life and even my mom is a nurse as well. I have high grades. Passed dosage cal with an A. 89.7 in Fundamentals right now with a test and a final left. And a 100 in Pharmacology. I haven't gotten a U in the first half of clinicals. My mom thinks I'm crazy for thinking that I might not want to pursue this degree anymore. I'm not good with stress and its making me ill. I don't have the love of the field that I once did and I don't care for dealing with patients. I don't care for how fast paced everything is as well. Even when I think about being a nurse when I'm in a good mood and I remember that care plans will be gone after school... I still don't have the want for this career. I want a decent job and to move out. I'm 21 and scared of starting a new route of college and I've wondered if I should try to force myself through this.

Honestly, this is a choice you will have to live. With If you are unsure for real continue. If you are sure you want to leave still finish this semester or term out. Then see exactly where else you would like to be. Such as MRI, Pt or Ot. Find out if you still want to do healthcare but not bedside nursing. There are nursing jobs that are out patient. Not sure if they involves care plans. However any job you do will have some to maybe high levels of stress. Just select something that doesnt feel like work that you actually enjoy. It seems like right now you have a change of heart. You should prehaps do some soul searching to see where you would like to do outside of nursing. There are a wide range of thing you could do. Outside of nursing that want require you to change or start over as far as pre-reqs. Hope this helps a little.

direw0lf, BSN

Has 3 years experience.

I just wonder if this is about nursing or really about anxiety and will you have these feelings about any major or career because you may not be dealing with anxiety best? I'm sorry you're at the point it's making you ill.

Seattlemamalama

Has 5+ years experience.

I don't know how to put this nicely and in a way for you to understand me correctly....

I'm reading a lot of "I want...," "I don't wanna," "I want this and this and this."

Do you think your probably being immature?

You seem to know everything... But then again you don't. Just saying.

Look a few steps ahead before you jump off a cliff.

You seem to be praising yourself for being perfectly capable to finish nursing school yet

you also seem to think your too good for it.

I think you need a good wake up call to the real world. Like a previous poster said, why don't you try working with an OT, PT, or other field during your breaks? This might help orient you to something that you like more.

If you drop out of school after the first semester you won't be qualified for a "good" job anywhere. Good luck affording an apartment too. Your 21... find a job that your qualified for and can realistically obtain and then calculate your monthly bills... Rent... Food... Insurance... God forbid something goes wrong and you need a new set of tires for your car or something. This might help bring you back into reality. You won't be 21 forever, 30 is around the corner.

Not to keep bashing on you but you should have focused your attention on the degree you wanted to pursue while you were working on your prerequisites. For example, with the prerequisites for nursing I knew that I could also apply to other healthcare related degrees +/- a few prerequisites.

If you take a break now are you sure you'll ever return to school without your sciences expiring?

I suggest you you finish nursing school and then explore the WIDE ARRAY of options that you have available to you with an RN license while you work and gain some experience. THEN, you can have a good job.. Afford an apartment... And enjoy life a little.

P.S.

It seems all fast pace now but you will get used to it and it will all appear like a breeze later. And there are plenty of slower pace places you can work in like a clinic.

It seems like anxiety is getting to you. Have you thought about talking to a counselor or your PCP? Nursing school is stressful and fast paced and anxiety ridden, but so are many other majors. Maybe talking to someone about how you are feeling is truly what you need right now. And maybe not make any decisions until then.

Seattlemamalama said:
I don't know how to put this nicely and in a way for you to understand me correctly....

I'm reading a lot of "I want...," "I don't wanna," "I want this and this and this."

Do you think your probably being immature?

I think OP has the right to focus on what SHE wants when it comes to her future career goals...that's not immature at all.

OP, if you don't think nursing is for you then by all means, find what IS for you. Completing a degree for a career you aren't interested in is a big waste of time and money. Obviously, think long and hard about this decision but if it's not for you that's ok! You're only 21, that is still very young...no reason to rush big decisions like this. Good luck!

To Seattlemamalama,

I definitely don't think I'm "too good" for this career. I put the grades because I'm saying even though I am doing really well with these classes, I'm still having a change of heart. Yes I have really bad anxiety and this career was all I wanted to do when I was younger. My problem was I never really looked into much else, thinking the whole time this was want I was meant to do. Now that I'm into it I'm really start to doubt if I can actually do this or even if I want to do this. I'm starting to not like medical. I'm starting to have the feeling of going into something not medical. I'm really hating clinicals and I about have a panic attack every week before I go in there. I'm even getting physically ill from all of this. That's all I was trying to convey is that my doubts were not based on grades and something eternal. And no I wouldn't just go straight into working. I'd find a degree that would go toward what I would want to do. All I'm saying now is that I'm scared to make myself go through with all then and then hate every moment of working.

Edited by Moonlightstar

Thank you to those that are giving me encouragement. This is a decision that I will be making after the end of this semester. Just 1.5 weeks left yay! This decision will not be made lightly and I have been talking to a few members of my family and will also discuss it with my bf who just got out of bootcamp. I guess I will try to schedule an appt with a school counselor to see if they can help me or advise as well, getting another outside opinion of the whole situation. I'm just nervous of spending more time in school instead of out there working. With everything that is going on in my family home life, I really need to get out. I'm just scared of going in next semester and be worse than I am now. I burst out crying several days a week and I've never felt more sick. Thank you all though for listening to my venting and giving me words of advice

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD

Specializes in Critical Care, Education. Has 35 years experience.

There are a world of possibilities out there. Nursing is not the only one. Life is waaay too short to force yourself to do something you hate.

Kudos to your mom. Undoubtedly a wonderful nurse and role model for you. It's no wonder you wanted to be like her. That's still possible... by opting to do something you really love. But in your case, it may not be nursing.

THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN

Specializes in Public Health. Has 4 years experience.

Moonlightstar said:
Thank you to those that are giving me encouragement. This is a decision that I will be making after the end of this semester. Just 1.5 weeks left yay! This decision will not be made lightly and I have been talking to a few members of my family and will also discuss it with my bf who just got out of bootcamp. I guess I will try to schedule an appt with a school counselor to see if they can help me or advise as well, getting another outside opinion of the whole situation. I'm just nervous of spending more time in school instead of out there working. With everything that is going on in my family home life, I really need to get out. I'm just scared of going in next semester and be worse than I am now. I burst out crying several days a week and I've never felt more sick. Thank you all though for listening to my venting and giving me words of advice

I'm all for you doing what makes you happy but there will be stress in any occupation. This sounds like an anxiety problem to me. I would advise you to see a therapist about it because crying frequently and being sick are not necessarily the most normal reactions to stress. That doesn't mean something is wrong with you, but you might need some help finding healthier ways to cope with the inevitable stress that comes with adulthood.

SlinkyheadRN said:
I'm all for you doing what makes you happy but there will be stress in any occupation. This sounds like an anxiety problem to me. I would advise you to see a therapist about it because crying frequently and being sick are not necessarily the most normal reactions to stress. That doesn't mean something is wrong with you, but you might need some help finding healthier ways to cope with the inevitable stress that comes with adulthood.

That's the strange thing about this is I've never had this much anxiety before. Granted I used to more about what people would think of me and it was coupled with depression. Over the past few years I've really been able to get it under control and I was pretty strong going into things. Maybe not strong, but not bad. I've had stress and its never made me like this, not even close. There's something about it that is getting to me like any other. A lot of it is care plans and the stress they cause. I have problems eating and I get heart palpations a lot now. I know that I probably need medication but the last time I tried a medication to help, it made me not have any motivation or care. Not to mention I wanted to sleep 24/7. I had to quit it I think about the 3rd month in. My mom just thinks I'm feeding into it and just trying to find an excuse to give up. I'm not because I don't want to stay in school any longer than I have to. Maybe because of all of the anxiety and the side effects of that, that I'm starting to not like the medical field, why I feel sick at the thought of being a nurse. I hate that my attitude has change so much about this field. Over this winter break I'm going to be doing a lot of hard thinking about what I plan to do.

I highly recommend seeking counseling. There are a lot of helpful techniques for coping with stress in a healthier way. I think learning to cope with stress will help you discern whether this is the career for you without having your judgment clouded by the anxiety! That being said, please don't worry or beat yourself up if you decide nursing isn't for you. Better to figure it out early on than later.