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Moonlightstar

Moonlightstar

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  1. Moonlightstar

    Unsure in my first semester

    That's the strange thing about this is I've never had this much anxiety before. Granted I used to more about what people would think of me and it was coupled with depression. Over the past few years I've really been able to get it under control and I was pretty strong going into things. Maybe not strong, but not bad. I've had stress and its never made me like this, not even close. There's something about it that is getting to me like any other. A lot of it is care plans and the stress they cause. I have problems eating and I get heart palpations a lot now. I know that I probably need medication but the last time I tried a medication to help, it made me not have any motivation or care. Not to mention I wanted to sleep 24/7. I had to quit it I think about the 3rd month in. My mom just thinks I'm feeding into it and just trying to find an excuse to give up. I'm not because I don't want to stay in school any longer than I have to. Maybe because of all of the anxiety and the side effects of that, that I'm starting to not like the medical field, why I feel sick at the thought of being a nurse. I hate that my attitude has change so much about this field. Over this winter break I'm going to be doing a lot of hard thinking about what I plan to do.
  2. Moonlightstar

    Unsure in my first semester

    Thank you to those that are giving me encouragement. This is a decision that I will be making after the end of this semester. Just 1.5 weeks left yay! This decision will not be made lightly and I have been talking to a few members of my family and will also discuss it with my bf who just got out of bootcamp. I guess I will try to schedule an appt with a school counselor to see if they can help me or advise as well, getting another outside opinion of the whole situation. I'm just nervous of spending more time in school instead of out there working. With everything that is going on in my family home life, I really need to get out. I'm just scared of going in next semester and be worse than I am now. I burst out crying several days a week and I've never felt more sick. Thank you all though for listening to my venting and giving me words of advice
  3. Moonlightstar

    Unsure in my first semester

    To Seattlemamalama, I definitely don't think I'm "too good" for this career. I put the grades because I'm saying even though I am doing really well with these classes, I'm still having a change of heart. Yes I have really bad anxiety and this career was all I wanted to do when I was younger. My problem was I never really looked into much else, thinking the whole time this was want I was meant to do. Now that I'm into it I'm really start to doubt if I can actually do this or even if I want to do this. I'm starting to not like medical. I'm starting to have the feeling of going into something not medical. I'm really hating clinicals and I about have a panic attack every week before I go in there. I'm even getting physically ill from all of this. That's all I was trying to convey is that my doubts were not based on grades and something eternal. And no I wouldn't just go straight into working. I'd find a degree that would go toward what I would want to do. All I'm saying now is that I'm scared to make myself go through with all then and then hate every moment of working.
  4. Moonlightstar

    Unsure in my first semester

    I'm in my first semester of nursing school and I'm not sure if I want to do this anymore. I'm going to go ahead and finish this semester, but I don't think I want to be a nurse anymore even though I've thought about it all my life and even my mom is a nurse as well. I have high grades. Passed dosage cal with an A. 89.7 in Fundamentals right now with a test and a final left. And a 100 in Pharmacology. I haven't gotten a U in the first half of clinicals. My mom thinks I'm crazy for thinking that I might not want to pursue this degree anymore. I'm not good with stress and its making me ill. I don't have the love of the field that I once did and I don't care for dealing with patients. I don't care for how fast paced everything is as well. Even when I think about being a nurse when I'm in a good mood and I remember that care plans will be gone after school... I still don't have the want for this career. I want a decent job and to move out. I'm 21 and scared of starting a new route of college and I've wondered if I should try to force myself through this.