Understanding men!!!???

Nurses Humor

Published

Once again I apologize guys....:p

Understanding Men!

Here we go...

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice, heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but nice, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but nice, with money,

think we are only after their money. :)

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice, and heterosexual,

don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful

(who are heterosexual, somewhat nice, and have money), are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice,

have some money, and are heterosexual,

are shy & NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!

11. The men who never make the first move,

automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW...WHO IN THE HECK UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes,

and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark

until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.!

:roll

I thought it was pretty funny. So did my wife the blonde. Gary

Bossynurse said it first. Lighten up. The heading of the topic is humor, and if we can't find humor in the sexes trying to understand one another, then heaven help us. I'll let you in on a secret, though. Sometimes, I even get tired of jokes that male bash. And when that happens, you know what I do? I don't read the threads with titles like "Understanding men!!!???"

And, yes, I also seen threads under the humor section that bash those nurses of a more feminine persuasion.

Kevin McHugh

Specializes in critical care, med/surg.

:rotfl: I found it quite humorous!!!!

Specializes in ED staff.

It just all goes back to biology, we don't think alike, we have different brains. It is humurous to me the differences in the ways we think. What makes perfect sense to females usually makes no sense to men. I was watching Comedy Central last weeek. Jim Breuer (the goat-boy) was on. He was talking about how to keep the fire in your marriage. He was talking specifically to the men in the audience. He said to wait till your sig other is gone for the day...to work, out with the girls whatever. While she is gone, clean. He says a man cleaning is an aphrodisiac to women and I for one HAVE to agree with him!!

I saw that LilgirlRn, now this place is SPOTLESS.....where's all the girls??? :)

A man who cooks does it for me!

I'm just saddened that we are not as easy to understand as our female counterparts.

this one's for Tilleycs:

Men are like Laxatives.

They irritate the shit out of you

Men are like Bananas.

The older they Get, the less firm they are.

Men are like Vacations

They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like Bank Machines

Once they withdraw they lose interest.

Men are like Weather.

Nothing can be done to change them..

Men are like Blenders.

You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like Cement.

After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like Chocolate Bars

Sweet, smooth and they! usually head right for your hips.

Men are like Coffee.

The best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like Commercials.

You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like Department Stores.

Their clothes are always half off.

Men are like Government Bonds.

They take so long to mature.

Men are like Horoscopes.

They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like Mascara.

They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like Popcorn.

They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like Snowstorms.

You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Men are like Lava Lamps.

Fun to look at but not very bright..

:rotfl:

Originally posted by cmggriff

I thought it was pretty funny. So did my wife the blonde. Gary

And face it, if us blondes understood it enough to think it was funny, then it WAS funny!

Dood.... lighten up. If you can't laugh at yourself then you have serious issues.

You may have been joking with the above quote in your post, but turn it around - if a man had posted that about women, what would have been your reaction?

I would have laughed and said "YOU BET YOUR AZZ YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND ME! BWAAA HAAHAAHAHA HAAAAAA!"

Why? Because I'm self assured and confident enough not to take it personal.

Unless, of course, we're talking about the toilet seat! :D

Specializes in ICU-Stepdown.
Originally posted by Tilleycs

"NOW...WHO IN THE HECK UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes,

and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark

until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.!"

This is probably one of the most shameful things I think I've ever read. As a man, it's honestly hard to not be offended by that kind of male-bashing. If you have that kind of mindset toward us, don't be surprised if we don't let you in far enough TO understand us. If we're going to be made fun of, what's the point?

To try to give the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure a lot of it is done in fun and with no harm intended (maybe), but after the 10,000th post...honestly, it gets a little old.

You may have been joking with the above quote in your post, but turn it around - if a man had posted that about women, what would have been your reaction?

Sorry if I spoil the fun, but honestly, ladies, from my personal perspective as a man, it gets old after a while.

Whoa!! I'm a man and am big enough to laugh at that! It was funny enough. I mean, with all the equivalent ones about women (blond jokes just to say the least). I've read those about the Element: Woman (for those of us that had to work with MSDS charts (ahhh, OSHA, a big govmnt institution providing big headaches and few practical solutions. Those were the days!). Women have been the butt of many jokes. Sounds to me like you have some deeper issues, but I didn't find anything in there to really get burned up about.

It was a JOKE. Deal with it!

Specializes in NICU, L&D, OB, Home Health, Management.

Good Golly Miss Molly . . Some of us sure are touchy lately.

I agree with all who said lighten up.

Besides, half the fun in our house is one of us trying to understand the other - Mars & Venus, etc.

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