Uncomfortable from Sexual Remarks from Patient

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I just basically want to vent. I work in a LTC facility as a wound care RN. There is one patient in his 60's with chronic wounds to his legs from PVD. He sits in his electric w/c in his room most of the day and that is where I do his wound care. He has made subtle remarks about my chest in the past but the other day he came out and asked if he could ask me a personal question. I said sure. He said, "now you won't get offended and turn me in or anything, will you?" Being rather easy going most of the time I said no. So he asked, "what size are you, up there?"

I just laughed and said I didn't know. Then he went on to talk about how he liked it when I bent over in front of him to wrap his legs and my shirt hung down and he could see my breasts. Then he added, "it really turns me on."

I wanted to barf, but I just laughed it off, thinking that would be the end of it. No. Every day since then he has made some reference to my "rack" or some other demeaning name and it has made me so self-consious I dread going in the room. I haven't told anyone else because it is so embarrassing. Now, I truly know how people feel when they are referred to like they are a piece of meat. It also affects the job I'm doing on him. Today he expressed disappointment that I wasn't going to show him "my stuff" and all I could think about was hurrying up and finishing and getting out of that room and as a result I missed covering one of the sores on his legs and I just couldn't bring myself to go back in there. I will thankfully have my partner with me tomorrow, but yuck. Dirty old man. I was thinking of saying to him there were enough cute little nurse aides here for him to feast his eyes on instead of a saggy old woman with 5 kids but I guess I would just be feeding his disgusting behavior if I did.

My husband was no help. He just said, poor old man, it's probably the only thrill he gets in life (so this will probably be my husband when he gets to the nursing home :barf02: )

I'm sure this falls in the category of sexual harrassment, but I would be even more embarrassed bringing attention to myself over it.

Just another thing nurses have to put up with in this world. I would be interested in hearing other accounts of inappropriate patient behavior toward nurses.

Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.

When I was new and young I had a run of patients on med surg who had bowel fetishes ( this was before the internet ) They were youngish men and women and would double themselves over in the ER with abdominal pain and get themselves admitted to the floor for a day or two with orders for enema after enema.I remember how I felt the instant I realized my patient was pleasuring himself while I was giving him his 3H's.Today I would not hesitate to hand him the nozzle and tell him "you look like you have this firmly in hand" Back then I was like a deer in the headlights. I have had my share of patients in acute care and residents in LTC masturbate and expose themselves.They like to be in control and the more you react the more they enjoy it. I've cared for drunks who had bottles under their beds in the hospital,IV drug addicts who booted heroin in the bathroom.You can't take it personally-you just have to matter of factly convey to them what is appopriate behavior.I think most of them do that crap just for the shock value.

In LTC you are in the resident's hm,e but they still have to be respectful.Take this to the team,this kind of resident needs consistency.You can't let them get away with treating even one staff member in this manner.

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Sorry you feel this way. And I said bud not butt.

I don't let people disrespect me or my coworkers. We take so much crap off people and we shouldn't allow ourselves to be sexually harassed. And since you didn't address it with that patient it bothered you when you went home. If you let this slide then the patient may think it is ok and go even further with the comments or may act upon them. Anywhere else this behavior would not be tolerated so why should we as nurses be ok with being treated this way?

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We shouldn't!!! I think it bothered me so bad because I didn't know how to address it directly with this patient. This was the first incident I encountered and definitely learned from it. Guess it's time to grow a backbone!!!

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Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.

I had an A&O patient purposely pee on himself and tell me (19 years old) "Now you have to touch it to clean me up" with a disgusting wink. I handed him some towels and a basin and told him to clean up or sit in it. I've walked out with treatments/meds or whatever when a LTC resident would say lewd comments. "That is inappropriate and I will be back after you can treat me respectfully" and walk out. Worked every time and the comments were stopped. Now if it's someone who is confused it's a different story and you need someone there with you if possible.

If you wouldn't take it from some random dude on the street, don't take it from your patients/residents.

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I would stop the talk at the subtle remarks, but if any patient asks me if they can "ask me a personal question" I say "Nope, I don't answer personal questions, this is about you, not me". Document and go to your supervisor about it. Any further comments and I would simply say "Inappropriate, I am here to do your dressings, so lets limit the talk to that" and redirect the conversation. I would also see if when you need to do treatments on this person that there's always 2 of you.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

I would make it very clear that if they made those comments anywhere else I'd call the police and reprot them for lewd/sexual behavior and that this type of behavior and talk will.not be tolerated.....persoind end of story

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Specializes in Adult Critical Care, Med-Surg, Obs.

You should nip it right now before his words turn to actions. From what Ive seen on my floor, I frequently hear female nurses vent and gripe about how uncomfortable it is to deal with a sexual aggressive patient. We had on man with frontotemporal dementia r/t strokes; who always seem to forget that he grabbed several nurses behinds over the past few weeks. First the nurses laughed it off, then they got uncomfortable.

Then they would ask me to go in with them, I finally said, look, you don't have to deal with this and assert yourself. Patients who make the environment uncomfortable can be told I will come back later once you are calm. If they continue with that behavior then it can be classified as refusal of care ( In NYS) and the nurse doesn't have to provide treatment.

Just saying, you don't have to put up with this.

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Specializes in Adult Critical Care, Med-Surg, Obs.
I had an A&O patient purposely pee on himself and tell me (19 years old) "Now you have to touch it to clean me up" with a disgusting wink. I handed him some towels and a basin and told him to clean up or sit in it. I've walked out with treatments/meds or whatever when a LTC resident would say lewd comments. "That is inappropriate and I will be back after you can treat me respectfully" and walk out. Worked every time and the comments were stopped. Now if it's someone who is confused it's a different story and you need someone there with you if possible.

If you wouldn't take it from some random dude on the street, don't take it from your patients/residents.

WELL DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :sarcastic:

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Luckily, my (male) coworker is with me today and will be going in to do his treatment. And this patient is very A&O. In the future, I will take the t-shirt under the scrub top advice, I had just never considered I was giving a peep show when I bent over. I have to endure comments about my chest every so often (a few moths ago a patient had some pajama bottoms missing and looked at me and said "they might be hiding in her bosom!" the CNAs got a big kick out of that and I wanted to melt into the ground) but usually it doesn't get to be too much of a problem. Thanks for the insight.

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.

QUOTE>> It sounds like you need to educate your staff and the resident.

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Always address sexual remarks immediately and put the brakes on them. Tell them the first time an inappropriate comment leaves their mouth that you do not appreciate it and to please refrain from this or you will have to report the incident and a different nurse will be assigned. With all sexual harrassement you first have to let the perp know that you have said "no" to this, 2nd time you are done with them and management takes over the issue.

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I might say something lame like, " that is very inappropriate, stop!" i work in acute care so what i do is get a different assignment for the next day, ignore it and go in the room only when necessary. i have also brought in a male aide if we have one whenever i go in the room . suprisingly that actually does usually help. although one time the pt tgen started making sexual remarks to the aide too. i guess in acute care it is easier to deal with since pts are there less time

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also. sometimes you just have to tell people off and not in a nice way either

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