Uncertain, scared, H1N1 fears, and not feeling encouraged at home (long)

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I am trying to change jobs, feel like a big loser living at home with the 'rents and not making enough money to pay for my own house (had to sell back in October). Work at home (medical transcription) so don't have a lot of contact with the outside world and do not really have any close friends in this area that I can talk to.

I have been accepted to the ADN program in town and ever since have been trying to figure out how to swing all this. Would pretty much HAVE to continue working full time because I don't dare lose my health insurance (thyroid cancer requires monitoring twice a year). So I realize that full time nursing school (no option to do part time) and full time transcription (no option to pare down to part time) will be a heck of a horrible schedule, even though I don't have kids and am single.

My parents don't think I can hack the schedule. They see how miserable it will be, and I agree. They are also (or at least my mother is) scared that I will catch H1N1 flu because of the fact that it's still going around (and I need to take a summer class starting middle of July) and will probably still be going around and will likely worsen, in the fall when nursing school officially starts.

My parents love me and don't want to hold me back. But they don't give me any "yeah, you can do it" pep talks or anything and I am thinking maybe they are right, maybe I'm crazy to try this. I would be in a high risk category for H1N1 complications (obese) and would not have much time for sleep, which runs down your immunity, once the school plus work schedule starts in the fall.

How do I figure out if I should just call it quits before I even start? Maybe I am just heading into a big disaster!


300 Posts

You could H1N1 anywhere, anyhow. I don't think going to school will increase your chances of being infected. Lot's of people go to school and work full time. Yes, it will be hard, but some out there are working full time and raising a family all while going through the ADN program.

Maybe your parents aren't encouraging b/c they themselves aren't go-getters and this sounds exhausting to them. My parents are the same way. Probably the reason why I am 29 w/ a husband and two children and just now starting my career. At some point, you have to clear your mind of what others think you should do and go foward w/ what you want to do.

Daytonite, BSN, RN

1 Article; 14,603 Posts

Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.

stay healthy. eat lots of veggies, fish, lean meats and whole grain foods. organize your time wisely.

people get sick because they are exposed to the microbes and because they don't maintain their immune systems. we constantly told nurses that their chances of getting tb from someone with active tb was not that good unless they were continually bombarded with tb germs and their immune systems were in bad shape. that is why drug addicts who would rather do their drugs and hang out with god knows who than eat regular healthy meals are more likely to catch a disease like tb.

i had thyroid cancer in my 4th semester of nursing school over 30 years ago. it is one of the most curable of the cancers. 30 years later i am here to tell you about it. at the time, however, i worried like crazy about it. i had i-131 treatments and body scans twice a year, too, to check for metastasis. do i need to tell you that you need to lose the weight? and, don't blame your weight on a thyroid problem. won't work. i struggled with my weight all my life. i eventually had gastric bypass and it was the last tool i needed to curb my appetite and control the portion size. now i feel a lot more normal when i eat and i can't believe what a glutton i was for so many years.

when i went through rn school i had a roommate, we lived in the cheapest apartment we could find. she and i ate really cheap. cup-o-noodles are 3/$1 and maybe even cheaper in some places. shop at 99-cent stores. you would be surprised at the bargains you find there on food and everyday items. i buy almost all my fresh vegetables at the mexican and chinese markets because they are unbelievably cheaper than the huge supermarkets. really restrict your budget. check with your school about health insurance for students. i had health insurance through the school. there were students in my nursing class that went on welfare and got food stamps while in school. yes, you can do that! just check with your state to see what kind of assistance you can get. many state welfare agencies will pay for some healthcare (mediaid) if you are unemployed or have a low income and need medical care. talk with your doctor and tell him what is going on with your finances.


188 Posts

Yes, I know the weight needs to come off! Especially if I want to be a nurse. It's so hard. I've lost 100 lbs before but gained it back. I felt so much better with the 100 lbs off. It's difficult because it's very hot here so not much outdoor activities possible without the risk of heatstroke! Not able to afford a gym.

Everything just keeps going around in my mind. If I quit my job, somehow got on food stamps or something...then what if I flunked out of nursing school? What if I take out the gov't school loans and then flunk out with no job, no way to repay, and in worse shape than I am now? I don't think my school has health insurance for students. I keep thinking there has GOT to be a way but I guess I AM like my parents and haven't been very aggressive in trying to find solutions. They really are not much in the way of go-getters. My mom is great but never finished college and just doesn't have the patience for school. My dad has a college degree but his policy is safe and steady, even if it doesn't pay much, just stay where you are if at all possible or get another job that is similar. Safe and steady, don't try anything new. Too scary.

He wants me to apply for a gov't job as a secretary. Okay, nothing against secretaries. They have a hard job and are expected to do A LOT for generally pretty meager pay. But the thought of answering phones, opening the mail, filling out time cards, typing letters, making flight arrangements for the boss...meh. I think he thinks a gov't job will probably be safe, safe, safe, and maybe eventually they might give me a slight raise or maybe I could get a promotion (which would probably just mean still a secretary!). Sigh.

ETA: I know nursing has sucky aspects too (poop, pee, vomit), but I think it has a lot of rewards to it too and a chance to perhaps eventually get a BSN, MSN, or transfer to a dept or place that I would fall in love with even if it's rough the first few years after graduation.

Trauma Columnist

traumaRUs, MSN, APRN

88 Articles; 21,247 Posts

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

This has to be YOUR decision but I encourage you (as others have done) to really get out and look at options.

CrunchRN, ADN, RN

4,530 Posts

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

You can catch the flu anywhere - so don't worry.

I worked full time through nursing school. You just have to resign yourself to it and suck it up. If you want it badly enough you will do it. You can rest when you are done!

Or you could go to school part-time (and not stress yourself) for the next 8 years and by the time you graduate who knows what the world will be like............

Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

It might be a horrible schedule, but you can completely manage it if you really want it bad enough. You can set alarms, you can catch up on work whenever you have a spare moment, etc. I think that the big thing that glares out is you saying "they see how miserable it will be, and I agree..." Why do you agree...you can't know unless you try. H1N1 can be caught ANYWHERE....including health care environments...however, you are probably less likely to catch it there if you practice good handwashing(with sinks and hand gel everywhere, how can you not?) and hospitals have screening in place to help.

Seriously....you are the only the pep talker that you should listen to. Maybe you are heading into a disaster...or maybe 5 years from now, you will be thinking what took you so long!

there are inside activities also....but seriously...i need to work out too...so I understand....

You have lots of "what ifs"....but what if you apply yourself and you pass? What if you get a great career that makes a difference to people? What if you find a seriously cool friend who helps you get through?

Safe and steady plays the course...but you KNOW what your heart wants! go get it!

Sometimes you do have to go put up with the nasty stuff...but you learn to get through it...it is just part of the job....and everyone does it! go do it!

Daytonite, BSN, RN

1 Article; 14,603 Posts

Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.

You have got to ditch the negative thinking because that is what will hold you back. And, believe me, I know all about the heat and 100 pounds of extra weight. You will never see a successful, rich person who has negative thoughts. They are always thinking positively. When you wonder how they can stand what the critics say about them its because they don't listen to them. They can't afford to listen to the negativity because it will bring them down. People joke about the "yes" me around big shots, but that is why big shots employ them. They don't want to or need to hear the negativity.

first of all you've got to decide if nursing is what you want?

do you have the stay with it attitude so that no matter what, you are going to go for your goal?

h1n1?? i'm going to say this, it sounds like an excuse, not a reason to not go for your goals in life. far worse things in the world than the flu, tb for one, needlesticks, etc.

you sound like you're talking yourself into all the negativity with some help from your parents. get out a sheet of paper and start writing down why you want to go. and the pros and cons of going.


299 Posts

Specializes in Pediatrics/Adult Float Pool.

speak it, believe it, receive it. that's all you need to know. you need to start telling yourself that yes, this is going to be hard. i can do it. every time you wake up, when you go to bed, when you look in the mirror. keep speaking positive things and eventually, your mind will allow you to believe that you really can do this. and when it starts to happen, receive it. do not participate in the drama that can create failure in your life...just accept the blessing graciously and move forward. it may not be nursing school, it may be basketweaving, but if it's what you want to do with your life, you and only you can make it happen. it's hard to go against the advice of your parents or other loved ones, because you know they are speaking from love. let them know that you will take their advice into consideration and then do that...what are the pros and cons of each side of the decision. yes. ns is hard. it is also only 1 year, or even a few years of your life. what impact are you having on yourself, allowing yourself to follow your dreams? what will happen to your spirit if you settle for something that although safe, does not make you happy. i can speak from experience when i say that it makes for a very long career when you do not truly love what you are doing. so, go ahead, and find out if you love nursing. maybe along the way, you'll find that you want to be an auto mechanic or a marine biologist. but whatever happens, you will have no regrets and will find a path in life that will take you wherever you belong. best of wishes to you!


188 Posts

I really think I want to try, even though I know how hard it is. I just think it's probably more practical not to do it, at least not at this time, but I want to just go for it even though my parents think I'm putting myself in for a world of misery and a disaster if I fail. :icon_roll My mom sees that in the job I'm in now, I hardly ever even go out of the house, maybe once a week, so the only way I could have less chance of catching H1N1 is if I lived by myself in a cave in the middle of nowhere. I could catch it, but not as much chance as if I'm going to school and clinicals most days of the week. Still, I just want to do it now. I will have to research more possibilities. I haven't even asked my job yet if I can change hours, so another hurdle. Feels like everything is in my way and my parents would rather I not do it! Ugh!

Thanks so much everybody for the encouragement.

CrunchRN, ADN, RN

4,530 Posts

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.


Your parents are being to protective. Get yourself out of the house and live life. The flu is like a cold for the most part. No one else is staying home 6 days a week.

tray, and if you make it great, if you fail that is ok to. You can try something else and you will always have those classes to help in your next endeavor.

Seriously girl - get out and live life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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