Type C

[Davey Do]

Years ago, I attended a great seminar on the subject of stress, given by a speaker who was a Psychologist. The Psychologist made a statement that forever changed my perspective on Patients.

He said, "All Patients are Type C and all Type C's are victims".

The speaker illustrated this point by saying that the Patients are victims of an accident, illness or disease, whether due to a smite by the hands of The Fates, or because of their own self-destructive actions.

He encouraged us to start viewing all the Patients that we serve as victims in order to raise our consciousness in understanding their responses to their situation. With that understanding, we would be able to better deal with their behavior.

We easily feel empathy when an injury affects a Type C child, yet feel some apathy when a Type C adult suffers the ramifications of their imprudent inaction or self-destructive actions. Both or either could be our Patient, and it is our duty to provide quality care in an objective manner.

Providing care in an objective manner isn't easy when our emotions are triggered. We will easily kiss the boo-boo if a child, yet feel righteousness in chastising the behavior of a treatment non-compliment adult.

These are thoughts that I wanted to express and will pause before continuing.

In the meantime, please share your thoughts, if you will.

[dream'n, BSN, RN]

Thanks for bringing this topic up as it's been on my mind.  I've found myself particularly judgmental of some people lately (even though I roll my eyes only in my head) in both work and my personal life.  Not a good or healthy mental space to be in and one I'm going to work on.  I'm going to use the thought process that I don't know what others have dealt with or are dealing with in more situations.  In lots of ways our (universal 'our') childhood has formed us in ways we don't even realize, so we naturally respond in ways that were created when we were young.  Hope I'm making sense, but sometimes the adult is reacting as the wounded child would. 

[Golden_RN, MSN]

My first thought is that the first question most people ask when you mention that someone is suffering with lung cancer is, "Do they smoke?"  I don't know if we humans do this (a) to say to ourselves, 'Well, I don't smoke so I won't suffer that same fate,' or (b) to say to ourselves, 'Well I don't have to feel so bad for them since they caused the illness.'

I like this Type C way of thinking.  As my grandma said, "There but for the grace of God go I."

[Daisy4RN]

16 minutes ago, Golden_RN said:

As my grandma said, "There but for the grace of God go I."

My Mom used to say something similar. "You don't know what someone could be going through, just give the space and grace".

[Golden_RN, MSN]

39 minutes ago, Daisy4RN said:

My Mom used to say something similar. "You don't know what someone could be going through, just give the space and grace".

LOVE IT

[guest1163268]

18 hours ago, Daisy4RN said:

My Mom used to say something similar. "You don't know what someone could be going through, just give the space and grace".

I put it as, 'I don't walk in their shoes' however, 

I interact only based on the level of interest of the other party. It shows their engagement and type. Their questions says a lot about them and their motives and determines my responses. 

I go to work to work so there's very rarely a personal reaction to anything or anyone. It's all objective. I learnt this after a brief stint in peds oncology and wanting to rip the heads off the priests and shamans responses. So I had to leave quickly. 

It's all business now and works for me. 

[Davey Do]

On 7/14/2021 at 7:15 AM, TriciaJ said:

I would take nursing advice from a psychologist as readily as I would from an auto mechanic or an accountant.

There is so very much I could say to this statement, TriciaJ.

I sense you are saying, in effect, that a Psychologist's advice about how to go about being a Nurse is equal to anyone else who has not worked as a Nurse. 

With all the admiration, love, and respect that I feel for you, my virtual friend TriciaJ, I must challenge your premise.

I believe I can best challenge that premise with a concept learned from Richard Bach's novel, "Illusions": The Reluctant Messiah, Don, is relating a Truth to the novel's storyteller when  Don's reference is challenged. From memory, the interaction goes along the lines of,

"Aren't you quoting Snoopy the dog?" I asked.

"I'll find my Truths wherever I please, thank you very much", Don replied.

Whether the Psychologist, an Auto Mechanic, or an Accountant had exposed me to this Truth, I found a Truth. That Truth which, once applied to numerous situations, proved itself in accordance with reality.

 

 

[Davey Do]

On 7/14/2021 at 7:15 AM, TriciaJ said:

Seeing people as primarily victims is fraught with pitfalls.  First, it incurs the risk of becoming condescending.  Second, it implies a certain helplessness and is disempowering for the patient.  People who readily embrace their victimhood tend not to do as well in life.

Being condescending is a approach that the professional caregiver would need to work on. We need to approach the victim, as has been stated, with empathy. Empathy is not condescending.

Implication is a state which is not necessarily based in reality, but on emotions. Implication stems from an emotional response of the receiver which  can be corrected, once again, with a truly empathetic approach.

It's true, some embrace their victimhood like a thorny crown, but there is a myriad of responses to being a victim. Two extremes are "I've fallen and can't get up" to "Let me at 'em!"- wallow in self pity or get up and fight the good fight.

We, as professional caregivers, can approach the victim where they are, and reach a therapeutic goal by utilizing empathetic techniques. We can motivate the one who wallows and guide the one who fights.

Oh, so much to be said, and so little third dimensional concept!

[Davey Do]

@JKL33: "I came up with the idea that I do not have to feel any certain thing about any certain patient..."

Very few few of us, it seems, reach this level of understanding and act accordingly as you do, JKL.

With the words of a Unit Director of, "When you walk through those doors, you're on!" gave me the revelation that all I had to do was act the part.

Acting the part of a Nurse was easy- I knew pretty much of what I needed to know. Acting the part of always being an empathetic Nurse was not nearly so easy- something that I needed to work on throughout my career.

Improving myself and separating my emotional self in order to be empathetically therapeutic sometimes came difficult to me and I sometimes had to work at it fir every minute of every day, over and over again.

Kierkegaard said something along the lines of, The self is that which is in the process of becoming" and we all need to be in the process of improving our selves.

[Davey Do]

On 7/14/2021 at 7:46 PM, Daisy4RN said:

This is true but I tend to think it is just other nurses joining in on the vent probably because of other similar situations.

"Birds of a feather will flock together, and so will rats and swine."

We choose the shortest and easiest route we know that works, even though it may be just a fix, in dealing with our pain, Daisy.

Consensually berating another allows us to momentarily elevate our low self-esteem and feel a sense of camaraderie.

In choosing to empathize in an endeavor to understand another's behavior takes effort and insight. It's easier to criticize another than to take a good long look at ourselves and consider another.

On 7/14/2021 at 7:46 PM, Daisy4RN said:

 I realize that there are of course some people who are off balance but I hope you are wrong in that " chances are that individual will respond negatively in a real life situation".

One who has behaved a certain way in one situation has a high propensity to behave the same way in another similar circumstance.

[Daisy4RN]

2 hours ago, Curious1997 said:

I put it as, 'I don't walk in their shoes' however, 

I interact only based on the level of interest of the other party. It shows their engagement and type. Their questions says a lot about them and their motives and determines my responses. 

I go to work to work so there's very rarely a personal reaction to anything or anyone. It's all objective. I learnt this after a brief stint in peds oncology and wanting to rip the heads off the priests and shamans responses. So I had to leave quickly. 

It's all business now and works for me. 

I also like the " I don't walk in their shoes", pretty much the same thing as "we don't know what they are going through". While at work we of course do need to always "be on" (as DD says) I was also referring to daily life outside of work. My Mom started telling me this as a teen when I would ask something like " why was that person so mean" (person being a store clerk etc). I have always kept that with me and just as I stated, give them space and grace because we just will never know what is going on with them. Even if it is just them being a big jerk maybe they stop and think when someone didn't respond to them in a negative way, who knows.

I did a long stint in Onc and not sure why you have an issue with Priests etc trying to help! Chaplain care is very beneficial to people in these types of situations, at least in my experience.

[Daisy4RN]

12 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

"Birds of a feather will flock together, and so will rats and swine."

We choose the shortest and easiest route we know that works, even though it may be just a fix, in dealing with our pain, Daisy.

Consensually berating another allows us to momentarily elevate our low self-esteem and feel a sense of camaraderie.

In choosing to empathize in an endeavor to understand another's behavior takes effort and insight. It's easier to criticize another than to take a good long look at ourselves and consider another.

One who has behaved a certain way in one situation has a high propensity to behave the same way in another similar circumstance.

All true of course, I guess I just would like to think otherwise, hmmm, denial maybe!

[Davey Do]

Your entire post was one good read, however this quoted portion indicates insight, a willingness to better your current self, and generally very good mental health:

On 7/14/2021 at 10:16 PM, dream'n said:

I've found myself particularly judgmental of some people lately (even though I roll my eyes only in my head) in both work and my personal life.  Not a good or healthy mental space to be in and one I'm going to work on.  

Then there was this:

On 7/14/2021 at 10:16 PM, dream'n said:

 Hope I'm making sense, but sometimes the adult is reacting as the wounded child would. 

Sense it does make, dream'n.

One school of thought says that we respond to stressful situations byway of one of our inner beings: The Child, the Parent, or the Adult.

Ideally, we respond to stress as an Adult and logically problem-solve the situation, but sometimes we take control and oversee the situation as a Parent, or whine & cry like  Child.